Spiritually Unstable: A Psychic Comedy About Waking Up

This is the story of Cassie Clairborne, an intuitive who talks to the dead, argues with her nervous system, and occasionally confuses divine downloads with indigestion.

Over five hilariously chaotic episodes, Cassie will try to trust her gut, decode ghostly dream messages, survive her own inner wiring, and help both the living and the dead figure out what the hell they're doing.

Because maybe awakening isn’t about becoming perfect.
Maybe it’s about staying grounded—while your life levitates.

ACT 1: "The Taco That Knew Too Much"

INT. CASSIE’S KITCHEN – NIGHT

The dim kitchen hums with the glow of a Himalayan salt lamp. Cassie Clairborne, barefoot and wearing a hoodie that says “PSYCHIC-ISH,” clutches her stomach in front of the fridge.

CASSIE (groaning):
It’s not gas. It’s a message. From the Beyond… about tacos?

She opens a container of cold guacamole and sniffs it suspiciously. The tangy lime and leftover cilantro hit her nose. She freezes.

CASSIE (eyes widening):
Oh my God. Someone’s going to propose tonight... at Taco Loco.

Benji the ghost floats into frame, transparent and smug, holding a spiritual clipboard.

BENJI:
You always say that when you’re bloated. But yeah... you’re right.

Cassie spins around, nearly drops the guac.

CASSIE:
You again?! Why do you haunt me only during snack time?

BENJI:
Because that’s when your “third eye” is open... and your fridge is open.

A beat. Cassie looks around the room. A soft mariachi tune randomly plays from her unplugged Alexa.

CASSIE (whispers):
Oh no. It’s happening again.

🎬 Scene 2: Psychic Hotline Fail

INT. CASSIE’S LIVING ROOM – LATER THAT NIGHT

Cassie sits cross-legged on the floor surrounded by crystals, burning sage, and a knockoff Ouija board called “Spirichat.” Luna, her overly enthusiastic empath friend, dabs lavender oil on her temples.

LUNA:
You’ve got to lean in. Trust your gift.

CASSIE:
Last time I trusted it, I told a guy at Trader Joe’s he was pregnant.

The sweet scent of sage thickens in the air. Cassie coughs. The smoke alarm goes off.

LUNA (fanning wildly):
That’s not the spirits. That’s just... a dramatic confirmation.

Cassie dials a local psychic hotline for advice.

CASSIE:
Hi, yes. I think my intuition is trying to send me messages through taco cravings. Is that... normal?

HOTLINE OPERATOR (V.O.):
Ma’am, this is a Dominos Pizza.

CASSIE:
...Okay, universe. I hear you. Loud and carb-y.

🎬 Scene 3: Ghosted and Gifted

INT. CASSIE’S BEDROOM – MIDNIGHT

Cassie lies in bed, curled under a weighted blanket. Moonlight casts streaks across the ceiling. The room smells like patchouli and half-eaten Doritos.

BENJI (whispering):
You’re not crazy, Cassie. You’re just... unusually tuned in.

CASSIE (muffled):
If I’m so tuned in, why am I single and talking to a ghost?

BENJI:
Because you ignore real people. And also, I’m charming.

Suddenly, a chill passes through the room. Cassie’s hair stands on end. She hears soft humming.

VOICE (whispers from closet):
You’re the one, Cassie...

CASSIE (sits up):
Nope. We are not starting a horror subplot. Not tonight.

Benji shrugs. A dusty picture falls off the wall on its own. The scent of jasmine floods the air.

CASSIE (shaking):
...Is that my grandma?

BENJI:
Yep. And she says lay off the dairy.

🎬 Scene 4: Yoga and the Psychic Breakdown

INT. HOT YOGA STUDIO – NEXT MORNING

Cassie, drenched in sweat, does downward dog on a lopsided mat. The instructor, River, chants “Ssshhhhhhhanti” like a malfunctioning radiator.

RIVER:
Now breathe into your hip creases. Feel your inner goddess whisper.

CASSIE (muttering):
My inner goddess is hangry and has commitment issues.

Suddenly, Cassie freezes in plank pose, eyes wide.

CASSIE:
I see... fire. And... salsa verde.

She collapses on her mat in horror.

CASSIE (out loud):
Taco Loco! It’s real! Someone’s going to choke on a ring in a taco!

The entire class stares. Someone’s phone buzzes. A notification:
“BREAKING: Engagement mishap at local taco stand.”

Cassie gasps. Luna, from the back of class, drops her essential oils.

LUNA (awestruck):
Girl… you knew.

🎬 Scene 5: Drive-Thru Prophecies

EXT. TACO LOCO DRIVE-THRU – NIGHT

Cassie, now wearing sunglasses at night and a glitter cape, pulls up to the window. Her window rolls down.

CASSIE (whispers to the cashier):
Tell Javier not to propose with food. It’s dangerous.

DRIVE-THRU GUY (deadpan):
...We only serve tacos, ma’am.

Cassie drives away, staring into the star-filled sky. Benji floats beside the car with a taco in hand.

BENJI:
You ready to admit it now?

CASSIE (softly):
Maybe I’m not making it up. Maybe… I’m just weird and psychic.

Benji offers her the taco.

BENJI:
Or maybe tacos are divine messengers. Let’s not limit our theories.

Cassie laughs, takes a bite, and stares ahead.

CASSIE:
Universe… I’m listening. Just send dessert next time.

Act 2: “The Planet is Shifting — Are You Doing Your Inner Work?”

(From the comedy series: Spiritually Unstable)
Theme: The Earth is changing frequencies... and Cassie’s inner child just threw a tantrum in aisle 7.

🌀 Main Characters:

• Cassie Clairborne – A reluctant psychic with zero chill
• Benji – Her ghostly sidekick who’s surprisingly well-read on chakras
• Luna – Overzealous empath who thinks Mercury is always in retrograde
• Zeke – A conspiracy yogi convinced the planet is rebooting
• Grandma Pearl (Spirit) – Cassie’s tough-love ancestor in a muumuu

🎬 Scene 1: The Shift Hits the Fan

INT. CASSIE’S APARTMENT – NIGHT

Cassie lies on the floor, surrounded by tissues, a half-eaten cookie, and an open laptop playing a webinar titled “Your DNA is Ascending — Are You?”

LUNA (offscreen):
Cass, are you crying or purging?

CASSIE (groaning):
Both. Also maybe detoxing. From caffeine. And feelings.

The smell of palo santo wafts through the room. The plants seem to lean away from her.

BENJI (floating above):
The Earth is shifting, and you’re spiraling. Classic human behavior.

CASSIE (mumbling):
Mother Gaia is giving me emotional whiplash.

Just then, thunder rumbles. All the lightbulbs flicker purple.

LUNA (dead serious):
The Schumann Resonance is spiking.

CASSIE:
I don’t know what that is, but I blame it for everything.

🎬 Scene 2: Inner Work Is Not Optional

INT. HEALING RETREAT CENTER – NEXT DAY

The gang enters a building made of bamboo and questionable legality. A glowing sign reads:
“Ascension Camp: Breathe, Cry, Become Light.”

ZEKE (whispering):
If you see a lizard wearing sunglasses, don’t stare. That’s one of the Elders.

A robotic voice welcomes them:
AI VOICE:
Greetings, soul meat. Please surrender your ego at the door.

Cassie raises a brow.
CASSIE:
Mine’s already broken from middle school. I’m good.

They each receive name tags labeled: Wounded Child, Exhausted Adult, and Occasionally Functional.

🎬 Scene 3: Shadow Work Gets… Literal

INT. WORKSHOP ROOM – LATER

The group sits in a circle with vision boards, glue sticks, and trauma plushies.
Facilitator named “Infinite Steve” guides them.

INFINITE STEVE:
Today we meet our shadow selves. They’ve been living rent-free in your nervous system.

A fog machine fills the room. Suddenly, everyone’s shadow stands up from behind them as a physical being.

Cassie’s shadow-self is wearing Crocs and rolling its eyes.

CASSIE:
You again?

SHADOW CASSIE:
I’m the one who sabotages your love life and eats your secret stash of Pop-Tarts.

Luna’s shadow sobs glitter. Zeke tries to fist bump his, but it throws a crystal at him.

BENJI (whispering):
This is the weirdest therapy I’ve ever not paid for.

🎬 Scene 4: Grandma Intervenes

INT. OUTDOOR LOUNGE – EVENING

The sky glows unnaturally green. Cassie is curled up in a hammock, hyperventilating into a reusable grocery bag.

CASSIE:
What if I’m not ascending? What if I’m just... flatlining spiritually?

Grandma Pearl appears in spirit form, eating ghost pie and shaking her head.

GRANDMA PEARL:
You don’t need to ascend, sweetheart. You need a nap and a good bowel movement.

CASSIE:
That’s... disturbingly accurate.

GRANDMA PEARL:
Stop chasing light when you ain’t even grounded. First you earth. Then you glow.

She vanishes in a swirl of lavender mist and judgment.

🎬 Scene 5: Alignment and a Burrito

INT. RETREAT CAFETERIA – NIGHT

Cassie sits under a tapestry of the cosmos, sipping tea that tastes like moss and lies.

CASSIE:
Maybe inner work isn’t just crying in moonlight while clutching amethyst.
Maybe it’s... choosing not to freak out when my Wi-Fi dies.

Benji floats nearby, now reading “Spiritual Enlightenment for Dummies.”

BENJI:
You’re evolving, Cass. Slowly. But with style.

LUNA (bursting in):
Guys! I accidentally triggered my inner child and she tried to buy a pony with my credit card!

Zeke follows, covered in ash and smiling.

ZEKE:
I think I astral projected into Elon Musk’s dreamscape. There were electric sheep.

Everyone collapses in laughter. Cassie looks up at the stars.

CASSIE (softly):
Okay, Universe. I’m shifting. Just... let me wear sweatpants while I do it.

They share a vegan burrito under the moon. The Earth keeps spinning. And so do their chakras… kind of.

Act 3: “Why We’re Stuck — The Nervous System is the Real Gatekeeper”

(From the comedy series: Spiritually Unstable)
Theme: The real block to spiritual growth isn’t darkness… it’s dysregulation.

🌀 Cast Returns:

• Cassie Clairborne – Reluctant psychic, now aware her spine is a trauma archive
• Benji – Ghost wingman and part-time somatic coach
• Luna – Empath who thinks every emotion is a cosmic prophecy
• Zeke – Vagus-nerve hacker with a survival kit made of tuning forks
• Grandma Pearl (Spirit) – Here to yell “hydrate!” at spiritually constipated souls

🎬 Scene 1: Triggered by Tupperware

INT. CASSIE’S KITCHEN – MORNING

Cassie opens the fridge and a tower of mismatched Tupperware crashes down.

CASSIE (panicked):
Fight or flight! Fight or flight! FLIGHT!

She dives behind the counter. Luna peeks in, holding a singing bowl.

LUNA:
That wasn’t trauma. That was your lack of shelves.

CASSIE (from behind counter):
Tell that to my adrenal glands!

Benji floats by with a cup of chamomile and a muscle diagram.

BENJI:
Technically, your psoas is clenching like a scared armadillo.

CASSIE:
Why does my body react to stress like I’m in Jurassic Park?

🎬 Scene 2: Somatic Stretch and Scream

INT. COMMUNITY CENTER – LATER

The group joins a class called “Somatic Sass: Feel It So You Can Deal It.”

The instructor is a former opera singer turned nervous system educator named “Jolanda Flex.”

JOLANDA:
Scream gently! Shake wildly! Hug your vagus like it owes you money!

Cassie tries a trauma-release exercise but ends up doing the worm across the floor.

ZEKE (admiring):
That’s how dolphins release grief.

Meanwhile, Luna sobs into a weighted blanket. Zeke hums at his neck with a tuning fork labeled “throat chakra deluxe.”

LUNA (sniffling):
I think my inner child just threw a tantrum inside my spleen.

BENJI (reading from a handout):
“Somatic bottlenecks: when your soul wants to soar but your back says nope.”

Cassie whimpers as her hip pops mid-tremble.

🎬 Scene 3: Nervous Breakdown & Grocery Store Awakening

INT. GROCERY STORE – LATER

Cassie wanders the organic aisle, holding a stress ball and a kombucha. Everything is too loud: the carts, the freezer hum, a child screaming over oat milk.

CASSIE (to herself):
Why does kale make me anxious?

She has a mini meltdown by the gluten-free noodles.

CASSIE (chanting):
I am safe. I am grounded. I am... overwhelmed by textures.

Suddenly, time slows. She inhales through her nose. Exhales. A soft wind blows through the aisle (or maybe that’s just HVAC).

Benji appears beside her, ghostly and glowing.

BENJI:
There it is. Your nervous system just unclenched... for 0.3 seconds.

CASSIE:
I felt peace. Or gas. Either way, it was sacred.

🎬 Scene 4: Pearl’s Pep Talk (and Pie)

INT. CASSIE’S BEDROOM – NIGHT

Cassie lies under her electric blanket watching a YouTube video: “Why Your Triggers Are Secret Love Letters From the Universe.”

Grandma Pearl materializes beside her, arms crossed, holding a ghost pie.

GRANDMA PEARL:
Baby, your system’s like a pressure cooker wrapped in glitter.

CASSIE:
I meditate. I journal. I cry into moon water. Still stuck.

GRANDMA PEARL:
Because you keep trying to solve nervous system stuff with angel cards. You need magnesium. And to scream in the forest.

Cassie blinks.

GRANDMA PEARL:
Your body remembers what your brain’s still ignoring. Go move it.

She hands Cassie a slice of astral blueberry pie.

CASSIE:
Is this gluten-free?

GRANDMA PEARL:
It’s ghost food. Everything’s free.

🎬 Scene 5: The Nervous System Summit

INT. PARK – NEXT DAY

The group meets in nature for a “grounding party.” Luna wears a crown of leaves. Zeke brought a singing plant.

Cassie lies in the grass, hand on heart, toes in dirt. She breathes. The breeze smells like pine and potential.

CASSIE (calmly):
Okay. So my intuition isn’t broken. My body just kept the receipts.

ZEKE (nodding):
The revolution is nervous-system based.

LUNA (hugging herself):
I just gave my inner child a hug and she burped sparkles.

Benji floats by, holding a banner:
“REGULATE TO ELEVATE.”

They all laugh. A moment of real peace washes over them.

CASSIE:
I think I just felt my spine forgive me.

Act 4: “What Spirits Regret — Messages from the Other Side”

(From the comedy series: Spiritually Unstable)
Theme: Ghosts don’t regret dying—they regret forgetting to live.

🌀 Cast:

• Cassie Clairborne – Psychic medium who hears dead people… mostly when she’s in the bathroom
• Benji – Her loyal ghost roommate with unfinished business and a flair for the dramatic
• Luna – Empath who thinks every passing breeze is her grandma
• Zeke – Believes spirits communicate via Wi-Fi drops and Spotify glitches
• Grandma Pearl (Spirit) – Delivers truth bombs from the afterlife wrapped in sass

🎬 Scene 1: Spirit Spam

INT. CASSIE’S KITCHEN – MORNING

Cassie flips open her laptop. Notifications fly across the screen:
“Your Uncle Joe wants to say sorry about the poker night.”
“Mildred: Regrets the meatloaf.”
“Greg (1977): JUST YELLING.”

CASSIE (rubbing temples):
It’s like ghost Facebook in my head.

Benji pops in with a clipboard and Bluetooth headset.

BENJI:
We’re trying to organize the messages. It’s... a lot. Some of them just want to complain about taxes.

CASSIE:
Ghosts have opinions on interest rates?

BENJI:
And fashion. One of them says you dress like a haunted Pinterest board.

She throws a crystal at him. It goes right through.

🎬 Scene 2: Dead People, Real Regrets

INT. LIVING ROOM – AFTERNOON

Cassie channels for her neighbors in exchange for banana bread.
A confused older spirit named Gerald speaks through her.

CASSIE (possessed voice):
I should’ve taken the painting class… and told Steve I loved him. Also—where are my dentures?

Everyone gasps. The banana bread falls.

NEIGHBOR:
Steve was his bowling partner!

Cassie blinks, returning to herself.

CASSIE:
Okay wow. That was emotional. And dental.

Benji nods solemnly.

BENJI:
Turns out most spirits don’t regret dying.
They regret not dancing more. Not forgiving. Not eating the damn cake.

Cassie looks out the window.

CASSIE (softly):
...Maybe I should eat cake.

🎬 Scene 3: Grandma’s Guide to Regret-Free Living

INT. BEDROOM – NIGHT

Cassie sits in bed with a notebook titled “Living Before Dying.” Grandma Pearl appears, stirring tea with a ghost spoon.

GRANDMA PEARL:
Here’s the thing, baby. People wait too long to feel good.

CASSIE:
What did you regret?

GRANDMA PEARL:
Worrying about what others thought. And not learning to twerk. But mostly the first thing.

Cassie laughs.

GRANDMA PEARL:
You think purpose has to be a career or a prophecy.
Sometimes it’s calling your friend.
Or getting a dog.
Or wearing leopard print in your thirties.

CASSIE:
...I'm in my thirties.

GRANDMA PEARL:
Exactly.

🎬 Scene 4: The Regret Parade

EXT. CEMETERY – MIDNIGHT

Cassie, Luna, and Zeke attend a “Spirit Regret Parade,” an annual event Cassie accidentally started when she cried in public and five spirits appeared to vent.

Ghosts float by holding signs:
“Should’ve Said I’m Sorry.”
“Lived for Likes, Died Confused.”
“Wish I Took More Naps.”

A disco ghost DJ plays “Stayin’ Alive.”

Zeke takes notes.

ZEKE:
Apparently regret vibrates at 73.2 hertz.

LUNA (sobbing):
They’re so transparent… emotionally and literally.

Benji floats beside Cassie.

BENJI:
Do me a favor, Cass. Don’t wait till you’re dead to say the weird thing. Or kiss the wrong person. Or eat the spicy sushi.

Cassie watches a ghost hug his living son.

CASSIE (whispers):
Deal.

🎬 Scene 5: The Final Message

INT. CASSIE’S BEDROOM – DAWN

Cassie wakes from a dream—tears on her cheeks, a note on her phone:
“The only thing that dies is the moment you don’t live.”

She walks outside barefoot, breathing in the cool morning air.

Birdsong. Coffee brewing. The scent of gardenia. A new lightness.

Benji appears, flickering in soft gold.

BENJI:
You’re different.

CASSIE:
I listened.

She hugs herself. Then whispers to the sky:

CASSIE:
Hey, Universe… I’m not wasting today.

Act 5: “Humanity’s Crossroads — The Next 7 Months Are Critical”

(From the comedy series: Spiritually Unstable)
Theme: The fate of the world might depend on… Cassie remembering her morning affirmations.

🌀 Returning Cast:

• Cassie Clairborne – Accidental oracle of the apocalypse
• Benji – Spirit sidekick with Google Alerts on solar flares
• Luna – Empath prepping for the planetary rebirth by hoarding rose quartz
• Zeke – Yogic prepper who thinks enlightenment is a team sport
• Grandma Pearl (Spirit) – Ghostly life coach with tough love and lavender

🎬 Scene 1: Cosmic Weather Report

INT. CASSIE’S LIVING ROOM – MORNING

Cassie wakes to the smell of toast and the sound of Benji reading from a glowing scroll.

BENJI:
“Galactic Update: Planet Earth entering critical vibrational window. Chaos expected. Snacks advised.”

CASSIE (half-asleep):
Why does every spiritual message sound like a meteorologist on mushrooms?

The walls buzz. Luna bursts in holding three amulets and a jar of moon water.

LUNA:
The ley lines are pulsing! My cat won’t stop staring at walls!

CASSIE:
That’s just Carl. He’s haunted.

🎬 Scene 2: Humanity’s To-Do List

INT. LOCAL BOOKSTORE – AFTERNOON

The gang gathers at a “Planetary Healing Meetup” hosted by Zeke. The whiteboard reads:
“Ascend or Cry: A Global Checklist”

ZEKE:
Step 1: Unplug from fear.
Step 2: Plug into love.
Step 3: Compost your trauma.

Cassie raises a hand.

CASSIE:
Where does “eat chips and rewatch Golden Girls” fit in?

ZEKE (nodding):
Step 4. Joy is resistance.

Benji floats by holding a pamphlet:
“The Apocalypse but Make It Mindful.”

BENJI:
Apparently you can’t enter 5D with unhealed dad issues. It’s in the fine print.

🎬 Scene 3: Systems Are Collapsing—But So Is Cassie’s Wi-Fi

INT. CASSIE’S KITCHEN – EVENING

Everything flickers. The blender explodes. Her phone dies. The coffee machine whispers Latin.

CASSIE (staring at the static):
The grid is breaking. And I still haven’t done laundry.

Benji appears, flickering like a bad Zoom call.

BENJI:
The veils are thinning. So is your patience.

GRANDMA PEARL (appearing):
The world ain’t ending, honey. It’s shedding. Like my skin used to when I ate too much shrimp.

CASSIE:
So… what do I do?

GRANDMA PEARL:
You show up. You smile. You be the weirdo who loves loud and laughs harder.

🎬 Scene 4: Earth Needs a Hug (and Maybe a Snack)

EXT. CITY PARK – NIGHT

Cassie, Luna, Zeke, and others join a silent vigil for the Earth. Crystals arranged. Prayers whispered. But Cassie feels weird.

CASSIE (whispering):
I don’t think the planet wants our pity. I think she wants a high five.

She starts dancing. Clumsy, dorky, joyful. Others join in.

LUNA (laughing):
Is this… planetary healing?

CASSIE:
Maybe Earth just wants us to live fully. Laugh, cry, screw up, try again.

ZEKE:
I brought vegan brownies to raise the collective frequency.

Everyone eats. Benji hums softly. Grandma Pearl joins the circle.

GRANDMA PEARL:
Now that’s how you hold the world.

🎬 Scene 5: The Countdown Ends with a Sunrise

INT. CASSIE’S BEDROOM – DAWN

The sun rises. Birds chirp. The world didn’t end. But something shifted.

Cassie journals:

“Maybe the prophecy wasn’t doom.
Maybe it was a deadline for choosing joy.”

Benji sits beside her.

BENJI:
You made it. Not just through the timeline—but through yourself.

Cassie smiles.

CASSIE:
I didn’t ascend. But I did show up.

She walks outside barefoot, stands in the golden light, arms wide.

CASSIE (to sky):
Okay, Universe. I’m here. Slightly undercaffeinated—but fully present.

A breeze stirs. Flowers bloom. And in the distance… Carl the cat hisses at a ghost.

Final Thoughts

Cassie (gazing up, barefoot, coffee in hand):
So, what did we learn?

That intuition is real, ghosts are dramatic, nervous systems don’t care how spiritual you are, and healing sometimes looks like eating cake in your pajamas at 4 a.m.

We’re all messy. We’re all magic.
And if the world’s going to end, we might as well dance through it—mismatched socks and all.

Remember: You’re not broken. You’re buffering.
Be gentle with yourself. Especially during Mercury retrograde.

And hey…
You’re doing fine, sweetie.

Short Bios:

Cassie Clairborne
Cassie Clairborne is a fictional psychic with one foot in the spirit world and the other stuck in her bedsheets. She’s intuitive, chaotic, and reluctantly awakening—armed with a dream journal, mismatched socks, and a cat named Sigmund. Her clumsy path to enlightenment is at the heart of this comedy series.

Grandma Pearl
Pearl Clairborne, Cassie’s late grandmother, is a ghostly voice of reason who prefers astral crocheting to haunting. Wise, witty, and occasionally passive-aggressive, she appears in dream sequences and moonlit visions holding signs like “You’re doing fine, sweetie.”

Benji
Benji is Cassie’s non-binary best friend, energy healer, and part-time snack clairvoyant. They offer sage advice, actual sage bundles, and the occasional reality check when Cassie spirals. Their calm sarcasm balances the metaphysical mayhem.

Sigmund the Cat
Sigmund is Cassie’s black-and-white feline companion with the emotional range of a disgruntled philosopher. He sees ghosts, judges Cassie’s choices, and occasionally levitates his toys when no one’s looking.