![](https://imaginarytalks.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/01/Ken-Hondas-17-Must-Do-Things-in-Your-30s-702x526.jpg)
Getting your Trinity Audio player ready...
|
![Ken Honda 17 Must-Do Things in Your 30s for Success Ken Honda 17 Must-Do Things in Your 30s for Success](https://imaginarytalks.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/01/Ken-Hondas-17-Must-Do-Things-in-Your-30s.jpg)
Welcome to a pivotal moment in your journey through life—your 30s. This decade holds incredible potential for growth, transformation, and fulfillment. It’s a time when the choices you make can set the foundation for a life of abundance, joy, and purpose.
In my years of sharing wisdom on happiness, money, and life, I’ve come to see the 30s as a bridge between youthful exploration and meaningful mastery. Whether it’s building financial stability, nurturing relationships, or discovering your life’s purpose, the 30s are the perfect time to lay the groundwork for your best self.
To bring these ideas to life, I’ve imagined profound conversations with some of the greatest minds and thinkers across various fields. Together, we explore 17 essential things to do in your 30s—insights that can guide you to align with your values, passions, and dreams.
This guide is more than a list of tasks; it’s an invitation to envision a life that feels rich not just in wealth but in connection, purpose, and joy. These imaginary discussions are meant to inspire and empower you as you navigate this exciting decade.
Your 30s are your time to thrive—and it starts now.
![Play/Pause Audio](https://imaginarytalks.com/images/potato-heads-dive-deep-on-this-article-play.jpg)
1 - Understanding That "Having It All" Is Impossible
Ken Honda: Welcome, everyone. I’m so happy to have you here for a conversation on why “having it all” is not only impossible but unnecessary for a joyful, fulfilling life. Let’s start with you, Marie. You’ve built your philosophy around letting go of what doesn’t spark joy. Why do you think so many people struggle with this idea?
Marie Kondo: Thank you, Ken. Many people struggle because they believe they need more to feel secure—whether it’s possessions, achievements, or even relationships. But true joy doesn’t come from abundance; it comes from clarity. By focusing on what genuinely sparks joy, we can embrace the freedom of having less, not more.
Ken Honda: Beautifully put, Marie. Matt, in The Midnight Library, your protagonist explores the lives she could have lived but discovers the beauty in her own. How does this tie into the illusion of “having it all”?
Matt Haig: Thanks, Ken. I think people often believe that if they had just made different choices, they’d have a perfect life. But life isn’t about perfection. It’s about meaning and connection. Even if we could live every possible life, we’d still find challenges and compromises in all of them. Fulfillment comes from embracing our current path, not yearning for others.
Ken Honda: That’s so true. Arthur, your recent book focuses on finding happiness as we age and letting go of youthful ambitions. How does this perspective help us see that “having it all” isn’t the goal?
Arthur Brooks: Thank you, Ken. We live in a culture that tells us we need to constantly achieve and acquire to be happy. But in reality, chasing these things often leads to burnout. The secret to happiness lies in shifting from striving to loving—loving what we have, the people in our lives, and the work that gives us purpose.
Ken Honda: It’s fascinating how all of your perspectives align on the importance of focusing inward rather than outward. Marie, how do you encourage people to overcome the fear of letting go?
Marie Kondo: I remind them to honor what they release. For example, when you let go of an item, thank it for its role in your life. This mindset makes it easier to focus on what truly matters and move forward without regret.
Matt Haig: That’s a beautiful practice. It’s similar to how we can honor our choices, even if they don’t lead to the outcomes we imagined. Letting go isn’t failure—it’s growth.
Arthur Brooks: I agree. Letting go allows us to simplify and focus. In the second half of life, it’s not about accumulating but about cultivating deep relationships, wisdom, and spiritual fulfillment.
Ken Honda: Wise words, Arthur. If each of you could share one piece of advice for someone feeling overwhelmed by the desire to “have it all,” what would it be?
Marie Kondo: Start small. Focus on one thing—whether it’s decluttering your home or your schedule—that brings you closer to joy.
Matt Haig: Remember that every choice has value, even the ones that don’t seem perfect. Life is about learning, not perfection.
Arthur Brooks: Shift your mindset from “What else can I get?” to “How can I give more?” Contribution and love are the real sources of lasting happiness.
Ken Honda: Thank you, everyone, for such profound insights. I hope this discussion inspires people to embrace simplicity, focus on meaning, and let go of the unrealistic idea of “having it all.” Life is enough as it is—if we choose to see it that way.
2 - Knowing the Difference Between What Can and Cannot Be Changed
Ken Honda: Welcome, everyone. Today’s discussion is about one of life’s most valuable skills: knowing the difference between what we can and cannot change. This understanding brings peace, focus, and even happiness. Let’s start with you, Byron. Your method, The Work, is famous for helping people challenge stressful thoughts. How does this tie into recognizing what’s within our control?
Byron Katie: Thank you, Ken. The key is realizing that suffering comes from resisting reality. When we argue with what is, we create pain. Through The Work, we learn to question thoughts like “This shouldn’t have happened” or “I need things to be different to be happy.” Often, the truth is that the only thing we can change is how we respond to life, not the circumstances themselves.
Ken Honda: That’s such a liberating perspective, Byron. Rangan, in your wellness work, you emphasize small, actionable changes. How do you guide people to focus on what they can control when they feel overwhelmed?
Rangan Chatterjee: Great question, Ken. Overwhelm often comes from trying to tackle everything at once or obsessing over things outside our power, like genetics or past mistakes. I encourage people to break their goals into tiny steps—what I call “5-minute wins.” For example, if someone feels stuck in their health, I ask them to simply stand up and stretch or take a deep breath. Those small actions remind them that they do have control over their choices.
Ken Honda: That’s so practical, Rangan. Small steps create momentum, which leads to big changes. Alex, your book, The Third Door, is all about finding unconventional solutions when traditional paths aren’t working. How do you help people stay persistent without wasting energy on things they can’t control?
Alex Banayan: Thanks, Ken. I think the key is learning to pivot. When one door doesn’t open, it’s tempting to keep banging on it, but that wastes energy. Instead, I encourage people to look for alternative doors—or even windows. You can’t control how others respond to you, but you can control your creativity, persistence, and willingness to try something new.
Byron Katie: I love that, Alex. It’s about accepting the closed door instead of fighting it, which frees you to find another way forward.
Ken Honda: That’s a powerful synergy between persistence and acceptance. Byron, some people might say, “But I can’t accept reality—it’s too painful.” How would you respond?
Byron Katie: I’d say start with a simple question: “Is this thought true?” For example, if you think, “I can’t handle this,” ask yourself if that’s absolutely true. Often, the thought isn’t true—it’s just a story we’re telling ourselves. By questioning it, we can find peace even in challenging circumstances.
Ken Honda: That’s such a helpful tool. Rangan, in your practice, how do you help people let go of the stress that comes from trying to control the uncontrollable?
Rangan Chatterjee: I often guide them to focus on their “circle of influence.” Instead of worrying about things like the news or other people’s opinions, I help them identify small, daily actions that make a difference. For example, instead of stressing about a weight loss goal, focus on drinking a glass of water before every meal. These simple actions shift the focus back to what’s achievable.
Alex Banayan: That’s so true. When you focus on the small wins, you gain confidence, which makes it easier to let go of what you can’t control.
Ken Honda: Wonderful advice. If each of you could give one piece of wisdom to someone struggling to distinguish between what they can and cannot change, what would it be?
Byron Katie: Question your thoughts. Reality is always kinder than the stories we tell ourselves about it.
Rangan Chatterjee: Focus on one small action you can take right now. It’s the small steps that create lasting change.
Alex Banayan: Remember that your creativity and resourcefulness are always within your control. If the traditional path isn’t working, create your own.
Ken Honda: Thank you all for such enlightening perspectives. Accepting what we cannot change and acting on what we can is truly a life-changing skill. Let’s all strive to live with clarity and peace in this way.
3 - Understanding Your Winning and Losing Patterns
Ken Honda: Welcome, everyone. Today, we’re discussing how to understand your winning and losing patterns. This topic is close to my heart because identifying these patterns can empower us to make better choices and live more fulfilling lives. James, let’s start with you. How do habits help us identify these patterns?
James Clear: Thanks, Ken. Habits are the foundation of both success and failure. The challenge is that most people don’t notice their habits—they operate on autopilot. I recommend tracking your actions, even for just a week. When you see patterns—like always procrastinating after lunch or exercising every morning—you can connect the dots to see what’s helping you win and what’s holding you back.
Ken Honda: That’s insightful. So self-awareness is the first step. Carol, how do you help people recognize the mindset patterns behind their successes and failures?
Carol Dweck: Great question, Ken. The mindset you bring to challenges determines whether you grow or stay stuck. A growth mindset helps you see failures as opportunities to learn, while a fixed mindset makes you fear failure and avoid risks. I encourage people to reflect on past successes and ask, “What did I do that worked?” and for failures, “What can I do differently next time?” This reflective practice helps identify patterns in behavior and thought.
Ken Honda: That’s so practical, Carol. Annie, poker must involve deep analysis of patterns. How do you differentiate between a losing streak caused by poor decisions and one caused by bad luck?
Annie Duke: Thanks, Ken. That’s a critical distinction. In poker—and in life—you can make the right decision and still get a bad outcome because of factors outside your control. I always tell people to focus on the process, not the outcome. If your process is sound—like gathering the right information and weighing your options—you’re on the right track, even if things don’t work out every time. Analyzing patterns means looking for consistent decision-making errors, not just unlucky results.
Ken Honda: That’s so powerful—focusing on the process rather than just the outcome. James, once someone has identified a losing pattern, how do you recommend they start breaking it?
James Clear: The key is to start small. Losing patterns are often ingrained habits, and trying to overhaul them all at once can be overwhelming. I recommend introducing a "keystone habit"—a small change that creates a ripple effect. For example, if poor sleep affects your productivity, focus on improving your nighttime routine. Once you fix one area, other areas naturally follow suit.
Ken Honda: That makes so much sense. Start small to create momentum. Carol, how do you suggest people build resilience when facing repeated failures as they try to shift patterns?
Carol Dweck: Resilience comes from reframing failure. Instead of seeing it as a personal flaw, view it as feedback. For instance, if you didn’t succeed in sticking to a new habit, ask yourself, “What got in the way?” and “How can I adjust?” This mindset keeps you curious and motivated rather than discouraged. Resilience isn’t about avoiding failure—it’s about learning and adapting from it.
Ken Honda: I love that—failure as feedback, not as an endpoint. Annie, what advice do you have for people trying to create a winning strategy, whether in business, relationships, or personal growth?
Annie Duke: My advice is to study your wins and losses equally. People often focus only on failures, but analyzing your wins is just as important. Ask yourself, “What did I do right, and how can I repeat it?” A great strategy involves doubling down on what works while minimizing what doesn’t. And remember, a winning strategy doesn’t mean you’ll win every time—it means you’re stacking the odds in your favor.
Ken Honda: Such great advice, Annie. If each of you could share one key takeaway for understanding and improving your patterns, what would it be?
James Clear: Track your habits. Awareness is the first step to changing patterns.
Carol Dweck: Embrace a growth mindset. Failures are not the end—they’re opportunities to learn.
Annie Duke: Focus on the process, not just the outcome. Consistent, sound decisions lead to long-term success.
Ken Honda: Thank you all for sharing such valuable insights. Understanding our winning and losing patterns is a lifelong process, and it begins with self-awareness, reflection, and a willingness to adapt. Let’s all strive to turn our patterns into pathways for growth and fulfillment.
4 - Regularly Checking Your Self-Image
Ken Honda: Welcome, everyone. I’m thrilled to have such a diverse and wise group here to discuss the importance of regularly checking your self-image. Our self-image can either empower or limit us, and understanding it is key to growth. Louise, your work emphasizes self-love and affirmations. Why do you believe self-image is so crucial?
Louise Hay: Thank you, Ken. Our self-image is the foundation of how we experience life. If we see ourselves as unworthy or incapable, that belief will shape every decision we make. Affirmations are a powerful way to reprogram the mind. When you say, “I love and approve of myself,” you begin to dissolve negative patterns and replace them with empowering ones.
Ken Honda: Beautifully said, Louise. Dr. Eger, you’ve written about overcoming immense trauma and redefining your sense of self. How do you suggest people begin to assess and improve their self-image?
Dr. Edith Eger: Thank you, Ken. I believe the first step is awareness. Often, our self-image is shaped by past experiences and the labels others place on us. Ask yourself, “Whose voice am I hearing when I doubt myself?” and “Is this belief serving me?” Once you identify these influences, you can choose to let go of what no longer serves you and embrace the truth: that you are not your past, and you can create a new story.
Ken Honda: That’s so powerful—letting go of the labels others have placed on us. Joseph, your work connects the subconscious mind to self-image. How does our subconscious shape how we see ourselves?
Joseph Murphy: Thank you, Ken. The subconscious mind is like fertile soil—it grows whatever seeds we plant. If you constantly feed it with thoughts of inadequacy, it will produce a life that reflects those beliefs. But if you plant seeds of confidence, joy, and self-worth, your reality will transform. By visualizing the person you want to become and affirming it daily, you align your subconscious with your goals.
Ken Honda: That’s such an empowering approach. Louise, how do you encourage people to break free from negative self-images that feel deeply ingrained?
Louise Hay: I remind people that healing takes time and kindness toward oneself. Start small. Look in the mirror and say, “I love you” or “You are enough.” It may feel uncomfortable at first, but with repetition, it becomes natural. Also, forgive yourself for past mistakes—they don’t define who you are today.
Dr. Edith Eger: I agree, Louise. Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. When you stop being your own jailer and start seeing yourself as a survivor rather than a victim, your self-image transforms.
Ken Honda: Such a profound perspective, Dr. Eger. Joseph, what role does gratitude play in reshaping self-image?
Joseph Murphy: Gratitude is essential, Ken. When you focus on what you’re grateful for, you shift your energy from lack to abundance. Gratitude also reinforces positive beliefs in your subconscious. For example, saying, “I am grateful for my strength and resilience,” helps you internalize those qualities and integrate them into your self-image.
Ken Honda: That’s a wonderful reminder, Joseph. Let’s talk about how regularly reassessing our self-image can lead to sustained growth. Louise, how often should people check in with their self-image, and what practices do you recommend?
Louise Hay: Daily. Even a few minutes each morning can make a huge difference. Practice affirmations, write in a journal, or simply ask yourself, “What do I believe about myself today, and does it align with who I want to be?”
Dr. Edith Eger: I’d add that regular reflection isn’t just about checking in but about celebrating progress. Acknowledge how far you’ve come, even if the steps feel small. Growth is a process, not a destination.
Joseph Murphy: Absolutely. Regular self-assessment keeps you aligned with your higher self. It’s like steering a ship—you need to adjust the course consistently to reach your destination.
Ken Honda: Such valuable insights. As we wrap up, what’s one piece of advice you’d like to leave our audience with about self-image?
Louise Hay: Treat yourself with the same love and kindness you’d offer a dear friend. You deserve it.
Dr. Edith Eger: Remember, it’s never too late to rewrite your story. You are the author of your life.
Joseph Murphy: Feed your subconscious with positive, empowering beliefs, and your life will mirror them.
Ken Honda: Thank you all for sharing such wisdom. Regularly checking and nurturing your self-image is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself. Let’s all commit to seeing ourselves with love, kindness, and limitless potential.
5 - Taking Money Seriously
Ken Honda: Welcome, everyone. Today’s topic is one of great importance: taking money seriously. While money isn’t everything, how we approach it deeply impacts our happiness and freedom. Let’s start with you, Morgan. In The Psychology of Money, you highlight how emotions shape financial decisions. Why do you think people struggle to take money seriously?
Morgan Housel: Thank you, Ken. I believe it’s because money is deeply emotional, not purely logical. People tend to avoid thinking about it because it can be overwhelming or tied to feelings of fear, guilt, or inadequacy. But understanding your personal relationship with money is key. It’s not just about spreadsheets; it’s about understanding why you spend, save, or invest the way you do.
Ken Honda: That’s a great point. Tiffany, you’ve worked with countless people on improving their financial habits. What do you think holds people back from managing their money seriously?
Tiffany Aliche: Thanks, Ken. For many, it’s a lack of financial education. Money isn’t something most of us learn about in school, so people often feel intimidated. On top of that, there’s a lot of shame around money mistakes. I always tell people, “It’s okay to start wherever you are. Small, consistent changes can transform your financial life.”
Ken Honda: Absolutely, Tiffany. Vicki, your work focuses on mindfulness with money. How do you encourage people to connect their financial habits to their values?
Vicki Robin: Great question, Ken. I ask people to look at money as life energy. Every dollar you spend represents hours of your life. When you frame it this way, it becomes easier to ask, “Am I spending in alignment with what truly matters to me?” It’s not about deprivation—it’s about conscious choices that reflect your values.
Ken Honda: That’s such a profound way to look at money. Morgan, what’s one habit people can adopt to start taking money more seriously?
Morgan Housel: Start with humility. Accept that the future is uncertain and build financial habits that account for unpredictability—like saving more than you think you’ll need. A good rule of thumb is to prioritize flexibility. The more you save, the more options you have when life surprises you.
Ken Honda: Flexibility is key. Tiffany, what’s your advice for someone who feels stuck in a cycle of debt or living paycheck to paycheck?
Tiffany Aliche: I’d say start small and focus on creating a budget that works for you. Begin by tracking every dollar for a month—this helps you see where your money is going. Then, prioritize paying off high-interest debt first, while setting aside a small emergency fund. Progress may feel slow, but every step forward builds momentum.
Ken Honda: That’s such actionable advice. Vicki, how can mindfulness help people break unhealthy financial habits?
Vicki Robin: Mindfulness helps you notice the emotions behind your spending. Are you shopping because you’re bored, stressed, or trying to impress others? Once you become aware, you can pause and ask, “What do I really need right now?” That pause can transform impulsive habits into intentional ones.
Ken Honda: That’s a beautiful practice, Vicki. Morgan, how do you suggest people balance enjoying their money today with saving for the future?
Morgan Housel: It’s about understanding what makes you happiest. For some, it’s experiences; for others, it’s security. There’s no one-size-fits-all. The key is to allocate money for both—set aside savings first, and then enjoy guilt-free spending on what truly brings joy.
Ken Honda: Such a balanced approach. Tiffany, how do you encourage people to feel confident about their financial future, even if they’re just starting out?
Tiffany Aliche: Confidence comes from education and action. The more you learn about how money works—budgeting, saving, and investing—the less intimidating it feels. Start by mastering one area, like creating a simple budget. Celebrate small wins, like saving your first $100, and build from there.
Ken Honda: Wonderful advice, Tiffany. Let’s wrap up with a key takeaway from each of you. If you could leave our audience with one thought about taking money seriously, what would it be?
Morgan Housel: Focus on what you can control, like your savings rate, and let go of trying to predict the future.
Tiffany Aliche: Don’t be afraid to start small. Consistent effort adds up over time.
Vicki Robin: Spend in alignment with your values—it’s the path to financial peace.
Ken Honda: Thank you all for sharing such valuable insights. Taking money seriously doesn’t have to be daunting; it’s a journey of understanding, mindfulness, and consistent action. Let’s all strive to create a healthier, happier relationship with money.
6 - Deciding Whether to Have a Partner or Children
Ken Honda: Welcome, everyone. Today, we’re discussing a deeply personal and impactful topic: deciding whether to have a partner or children. These choices shape our lives profoundly, and it’s important to approach them with clarity and intention. Esther, let’s begin with you. How do you guide people who are unsure about committing to a partner?
Esther Perel: Thank you, Ken. When people are unsure, I encourage them to explore their desires and fears openly. Sometimes, hesitation comes from societal pressure or past experiences. I ask them, “What does a partnership mean to you?” and “What kind of connection would enhance your life?” A partner shouldn’t complete you—they should complement your journey.
Ken Honda: That’s a beautiful distinction, Esther. Angela, as someone who’s written about motherhood, what would you say to someone who’s undecided about having children?
Angela Garbes: Thanks, Ken. I think it’s crucial to normalize the complexity of this decision. Parenting is profound, but it’s also challenging. I encourage people to consider their values and capacity. Ask yourself, “Why do I want children, or why don’t I?” Both paths can be valid, but they require honest self-reflection and planning.
Ken Honda: That’s such a balanced perspective. Elizabeth, your story in Eat, Pray, Love reflects an unconventional life path. How did you approach decisions about partnerships and children?
Elizabeth Gilbert: Thank you, Ken. For me, it was about authenticity. I realized that being true to myself meant embracing an unconventional life. I’ve loved deeply, but I also recognized that motherhood wasn’t my path. It’s not about what society expects—it’s about what aligns with your soul. That kind of honesty takes courage, but it’s worth it.
Ken Honda: Such wisdom, Elizabeth. Esther, for those considering partnership, what role does self-awareness play in making a fulfilling choice?
Esther Perel: It’s everything. A good partnership starts with knowing yourself—your needs, boundaries, and non-negotiables. If you enter a relationship hoping someone will fix or save you, it will likely lead to disappointment. A fulfilling partnership is a conscious choice, not just a default setting.
Ken Honda: That’s so important—conscious choices. Angela, parenting is a lifelong commitment. How can someone prepare themselves mentally and emotionally for such a decision?
Angela Garbes: Preparation starts with accepting that you’ll never be fully ready, and that’s okay. It’s more about resilience and adaptability than perfection. Surround yourself with a strong support network and have honest conversations with your partner or family about expectations and responsibilities. Parenting isn’t just an individual choice—it’s a collective effort.
Ken Honda: That’s such a practical approach. Elizabeth, what advice would you give to someone who feels pressured by society or family to follow a conventional path?
Elizabeth Gilbert: I’d say, “You don’t owe anyone your life.” Pressure comes from fear—fear of being different, fear of disappointing others. But your life is your own masterpiece. The bravest thing you can do is to live it authentically, even if it doesn’t look like what others expect.
Ken Honda: That’s so liberating, Elizabeth. Esther, how do you help people navigate the fear of making the wrong decision, whether it’s about having a partner or children?
Esther Perel: Fear often comes from the idea that there’s only one “right” choice. I remind people that life is dynamic. You can create meaning and joy in many ways. What matters is how you commit to the choices you make. Life isn’t about perfection—it’s about intention and adaptation.
Ken Honda: Such profound insight. Angela, how can mindfulness play a role in these decisions?
Angela Garbes: Mindfulness helps you connect with your deeper values. When you take time to sit with your thoughts—without judgment—you can separate what you truly want from what others expect of you. Mindful decisions come from a place of clarity, not fear or obligation.
Ken Honda: Beautifully said. Let’s close with one piece of advice for those facing these life decisions. Esther?
Esther Perel: Embrace curiosity. Don’t make decisions out of fear—explore them with openness and trust.
Angela Garbes: Trust yourself. You know what’s right for your life better than anyone else.
Elizabeth Gilbert: Live boldly and unapologetically. Your life is yours to design.
Ken Honda: Thank you all for sharing such profound wisdom. Deciding whether to have a partner or children is a deeply personal journey. Let’s approach these decisions with self-awareness, courage, and a commitment to living authentically.
7 - Deciding Your Place in the World
Ken Honda: Welcome, everyone. Today, we’re diving into the profound question of how to decide your place in the world. This is a journey that requires reflection, courage, and sometimes a leap of faith. Simon, let’s start with you. In your work, you talk about finding your "why." How does this idea help people discover their place in the world?
Simon Sinek: Thanks, Ken. Your "why" is the reason you wake up in the morning and the contribution you want to make to the world. It’s not about what you do, but why you do it. Once you understand your "why," it serves as a compass, guiding you toward decisions and opportunities that align with your purpose. When people live with intention, they naturally find where they belong.
Ken Honda: That’s such a powerful starting point. Rich, your journey from struggling with addiction to becoming an ultra-endurance athlete is extraordinary. How did you decide where you wanted to be in life?
Rich Roll: Thanks, Ken. For me, it started with hitting rock bottom and realizing that the life I was living wasn’t sustainable. I didn’t have all the answers, but I knew I needed to align my actions with my values. I started small—focusing on health, mindfulness, and service. Over time, these small steps led me to discover my passion for endurance sports and storytelling. It wasn’t a straight path, but every step taught me something about my place in the world.
Ken Honda: That’s inspiring, Rich. Elizabeth, your work as a humanitarian is deeply tied to your own story. How did your experiences shape your sense of purpose?
Elizabeth Nyamayaro: Thank you, Ken. My purpose began with a moment of kindness when I was a hungry child in Zimbabwe. A United Nations aid worker saved my life, and that experience lit a fire in me to give back. I believe that our place in the world often comes from our lived experiences and the connections we make along the way. It’s about asking, “How can I use my story to serve others?”
Ken Honda: Such a profound perspective, Elizabeth. Simon, many people struggle with feeling lost or uncertain about their purpose. What advice do you give to someone in that position?
Simon Sinek: Start by looking inward. Reflect on your experiences and ask yourself, “What moments in my life made me feel most alive?” Often, our purpose is hidden in the things we care about deeply or the problems we’ve overcome. It’s not about figuring it all out at once—it’s about taking small steps toward what feels meaningful.
Ken Honda: That’s so actionable. Rich, how do you encourage people to stay on the path to discovering their place, even when it feels difficult or unclear?
Rich Roll: I remind people to embrace the discomfort. Growth doesn’t happen when you’re comfortable—it happens when you’re challenged. Also, be patient with yourself. Transformation takes time. Focus on the process, not the destination, and trust that every step you take is leading you somewhere meaningful.
Ken Honda: Wonderful advice. Elizabeth, how do you help people connect their individual purpose to a larger sense of service or community?
Elizabeth Nyamayaro: I encourage people to think about the ripple effect of their actions. You don’t have to change the whole world—just one person’s world. When you find a way to use your unique skills or experiences to uplift others, you’ll discover that your place in the world is inherently tied to the connections you create.
Ken Honda: That’s such a beautiful way to look at it. Simon, once someone feels they’ve found their "place," how can they ensure they stay aligned with it over time?
Simon Sinek: Staying aligned requires regular reflection. Ask yourself, “Am I still living according to my values and purpose?” Life evolves, and so will your place in the world. Be open to growth and adaptation, but always return to your "why" as your anchor.
Ken Honda: That’s such a grounding practice. Elizabeth, how can mindfulness help people navigate their journey to finding their place?
Elizabeth Nyamayaro: Mindfulness helps you stay present and connected to your intuition. When you’re mindful, you can hear the quiet voice within that guides you toward what feels authentic. It also helps you appreciate the journey, rather than rushing toward a destination.
Ken Honda: Such powerful insights. Let’s close with one piece of advice from each of you for those still searching for their place in the world. Simon?
Simon Sinek: Start with your "why." Your purpose will guide you to where you belong.
Rich Roll: Embrace the process and trust that even small steps can lead to big transformations.
Elizabeth Nyamayaro: Use your story to serve others. Your purpose is often found in the connections you create.
Ken Honda: Thank you all for sharing your wisdom. Finding your place in the world is a journey of self-discovery, service, and courage. Let’s all strive to live authentically and use our unique gifts to make a difference.
8 - Saying Goodbye to Your Parents
![Ken-Honda-17-Must-Do-Things-in-Your-30s](https://imaginarytalks.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/01/Ken-Honda-17-Must-Do-Things-in-Your-30s.jpg)
Ken Honda: Welcome, everyone. Today, we’re discussing a topic that is both universal and deeply personal: saying goodbye to your parents. This is a significant milestone in life, filled with lessons, challenges, and opportunities for growth. Atul, let’s begin with you. In your book Being Mortal, you talk about the importance of preparing for end-of-life moments. How can we approach this process with grace and intention?
Atul Gawande: Thank you, Ken. Saying goodbye to a parent is one of the hardest things we face, but it’s also an opportunity to connect more deeply. Preparation is key—having honest conversations about their wishes, values, and fears. It’s not just about medical care but about what makes life meaningful to them. These conversations can bring clarity and peace to both parents and children.
Ken Honda: That’s so powerful, Atul. Elizabeth, your work focuses on finding meaning during life transitions. How can we navigate the emotional complexity of losing a parent?
Elizabeth Lesser: Thanks, Ken. Losing a parent is one of life’s great teachers. It forces us to confront our own mortality and unresolved dynamics within the relationship. I encourage people to see it as a chance to heal and grow. Write letters, have those honest conversations, and express gratitude. Even if your relationship wasn’t perfect, there’s always an opportunity for closure.
Ken Honda: That’s such a healing perspective. Maggie, your poetry and essays often touch on grief and resilience. How do you guide people through the grieving process when they lose a parent?
Maggie Smith: Thank you, Ken. Grief is a journey, not a destination. I tell people to take it one day at a time and allow themselves to feel everything—sadness, anger, even relief at times. Writing can be a powerful tool. Journaling your thoughts or writing letters to your parent can help you process emotions and hold onto the memories that matter most.
Ken Honda: That’s such a gentle approach, Maggie. Atul, many people struggle to talk about death with their parents. How do you recommend starting these difficult conversations?
Atul Gawande: Start with curiosity and compassion. Ask open-ended questions like, “What matters most to you as you age?” or “How can I support you in living your best life now?” These questions invite dialogue and show that you’re coming from a place of love, not fear. It’s also important to listen—truly listen—to their answers.
Ken Honda: That’s so practical, Atul. Elizabeth, how can we reconcile feelings of regret or unresolved issues after losing a parent?
Elizabeth Lesser: Regret is natural, but it doesn’t have to define your relationship with them. I encourage people to have a “soul conversation,” even if their parent has passed. Sit quietly and speak from your heart. Express forgiveness, gratitude, or whatever you need to say. Healing can happen even after they’re gone—it’s never too late to rewrite your relationship.
Ken Honda: That’s such a hopeful message, Elizabeth. Maggie, what role does community play in supporting someone through the loss of a parent?
Maggie Smith: Community is essential. Grief can feel isolating, but sharing your experience with others—friends, family, or support groups—reminds you that you’re not alone. Sometimes, just hearing “I’ve been there too” can be incredibly comforting. Lean on your community and let them be there for you.
Ken Honda: That’s such important advice. Atul, how can mindfulness help us stay present during this difficult time?
Atul Gawande: Mindfulness helps us focus on the moments we still have with our parents. Instead of worrying about the future or replaying the past, it allows us to cherish the present. Sit with them, listen to their stories, and savor the time you have together—it’s a gift.
Ken Honda: That’s beautiful, Atul. Elizabeth, how can losing a parent help us grow emotionally and spiritually?
Elizabeth Lesser: It’s one of life’s great catalysts for growth. When you lose a parent, you often see life with new clarity. It teaches you about impermanence, love, and what truly matters. Use this time to honor their legacy and reflect on how you want to live your own life.
Ken Honda: Such profound wisdom. Maggie, what’s one piece of advice you’d offer someone preparing to say goodbye to a parent?
Maggie Smith: Let love lead. Say what you need to say, and don’t wait for the “perfect” moment—it might never come. Love is what carries us through the hardest times.
Ken Honda: Thank you all for sharing such heartfelt insights. Saying goodbye to a parent is never easy, but it can be a transformative experience if approached with love, intention, and openness. Let’s cherish the time we have with our loved ones and honor their legacy by living fully and authentically.
9 - Having Friends of Different Ages
Ken Honda: Welcome, everyone. Today, we’re discussing the importance of having friends across different ages. These relationships can enrich our lives by giving us fresh perspectives and deeper connections. Jane, let’s start with you. You’ve spent decades working with people of all ages. Why do you think intergenerational friendships are so valuable?
Jane Goodall: Thank you, Ken. Intergenerational friendships remind us that wisdom and inspiration flow in both directions. Younger friends bring energy, curiosity, and new ideas, while older friends offer experience and perspective. These relationships help us see the world through different lenses, which is essential for personal growth and understanding.
Ken Honda: That’s so insightful, Jane. Carl, your work focuses on slowing down and savoring life. How do you think having friends of different ages helps us appreciate life more fully?
Carl Honoré: Thanks, Ken. Friends of different ages naturally slow us down and expand our horizons. Younger friends remind us to stay playful and curious, while older friends encourage us to reflect and cherish what truly matters. These relationships create a balance, helping us navigate life with both excitement and wisdom.
Ken Honda: That’s a beautiful balance, Carl. Meik, your research often touches on happiness and meaningful connections. How do friendships across generations contribute to our happiness?
Meik Wiking: Great question, Ken. Happiness often stems from a sense of belonging and purpose, and intergenerational friendships provide both. Younger friends can make you feel youthful, while older friends can offer guidance and reassurance during challenging times. These relationships enrich your emotional landscape, making life more fulfilling and joyful.
Ken Honda: Such valuable points. Jane, how can we encourage people to build friendships with those outside their age group?
Jane Goodall: Start by creating opportunities for connection. Volunteer for causes that attract people of all ages or join community groups. The key is to approach others with genuine curiosity and openness. Don’t let age be a barrier—focus on shared interests and values.
Ken Honda: That’s a wonderful approach. Carl, many people feel more comfortable sticking to friends in their own age group. How can they step outside that comfort zone?
Carl Honoré: It’s natural to gravitate toward people who share your stage of life, but growth happens outside your comfort zone. Start small—strike up a conversation with someone older or younger at work, in your neighborhood, or at a social event. Be open to learning from them. Remember, everyone has a story to share, regardless of their age.
Ken Honda: Great advice, Carl. Meik, your work on creating memories often involves shared experiences. How can we foster meaningful experiences with friends of different ages?
Meik Wiking: Shared experiences are the foundation of any friendship, and they don’t have to be elaborate. Cook a meal together, explore a new place, or simply share stories over coffee. The act of being present and engaged creates memories that strengthen the bond, regardless of age.
Ken Honda: Such practical suggestions. Jane, what have you learned from your younger friends that surprised you?
Jane Goodall: Their optimism and courage to tackle global challenges always inspire me. They remind me that no matter how daunting the world’s problems may seem, there’s always hope when people come together with passion and creativity.
Ken Honda: That’s so uplifting. Carl, what have older friends taught you that younger friends might not?
Carl Honoré: Older friends have taught me the art of patience and the value of perspective. They’ve shown me that setbacks are temporary and that life has a way of working itself out. Their wisdom helps me navigate life’s ups and downs with more grace.
Ken Honda: That’s such an important lesson. Meik, how can we ensure that these friendships last and continue to grow over time?
Meik Wiking: Consistency is key. Make an effort to stay connected, even if it’s just a quick message or call. Celebrate milestones together, whether it’s a birthday or a simple accomplishment. These small gestures show that you value the relationship, which keeps it strong.
Ken Honda: That’s so actionable. Let’s close with one piece of advice from each of you about embracing intergenerational friendships. Jane?
Jane Goodall: Be curious and open. Every person, regardless of age, has something to teach you.
Carl Honoré: Step outside your comfort zone. True growth and connection happen when you embrace diversity in all its forms, including age.
Meik Wiking: Focus on shared experiences. They create lasting bonds and make life more joyful.
Ken Honda: Thank you all for sharing such wisdom. Having friends of different ages enriches our lives by broadening our perspectives and deepening our connections. Let’s all make an effort to build these relationships and celebrate the beauty of learning from one another.
10 - Making Luck Your Ally
Ken Honda: Welcome, everyone. Today, we’re diving into the fascinating topic of making luck your ally. Some people seem to attract good fortune effortlessly, while others struggle. Let’s explore how we can all invite more luck into our lives. Saito Hitori, you often talk about using positive words to attract luck. Could you share your perspective on how language influences our fortune?
Saito Hitori: Thank you, Ken. Luck is a reflection of our mindset. When we use positive words like “I’m lucky” or “We’re lucky,” we create an energy that attracts good things. I call this "heaven words." On the other hand, negative words—what I call "hell words"—push luck away. By speaking positively, we align ourselves with a higher vibration, making it easier for luck to find us.
Ken Honda: That’s such a practical and empowering approach, Saito. Harv, your work focuses on creating abundance. How do you view luck in the context of financial success?
T. Harv Eker: Thanks, Ken. Luck is a combination of preparation and opportunity. People often say, “Oh, that person is so lucky,” but what they don’t see is the work behind the scenes. When you have the right mindset and habits, you create the conditions for luck to show up. I tell people to prepare their “financial thermostat” by believing they deserve wealth and success. When you do, luck has a way of showing up at the perfect time.
Ken Honda: That’s such a grounded perspective, Harv. Rhonda, your work popularized the law of attraction. How does it connect to the idea of making luck your ally?
Rhonda Byrne: Thank you, Ken. Luck is simply the universe responding to the energy you put out. When you focus on gratitude and visualize what you want as if it’s already yours, you align yourself with the frequency of abundance. This alignment attracts opportunities, people, and circumstances that feel like “luck,” but it’s really the power of intention and belief at work.
Ken Honda: That’s such an inspiring way to look at it. Saito, how can people start using positive language to shift their mindset and attract more luck?
Saito Hitori: It’s simple: start by saying, “I’m lucky today,” every morning. Even if you don’t believe it yet, the act of saying it changes your energy. Add small actions of kindness to uplift others—this also creates a flow of luck. When you help someone else feel lucky, you invite even more good fortune into your own life.
Ken Honda: That’s such a powerful daily practice. Harv, many people feel like luck is out of their control. How do you encourage them to take control of their “luck mindset”?
T. Harv Eker: The key is to focus on what you can control: your thoughts, actions, and environment. Start by surrounding yourself with people who inspire and uplift you. Luck often comes through relationships and connections. Also, be ready to act when opportunities arise—luck favors those who are prepared.
Ken Honda: So true, Harv. Rhonda, how do you suggest people maintain a positive focus, especially when life feels challenging or unlucky?
Rhonda Byrne: It’s all about gratitude. Even in tough times, there’s always something to be grateful for—a roof over your head, a meal, or even a kind word from someone. Gratitude shifts your focus from lack to abundance, and when you’re in a state of appreciation, you naturally attract more good things.
Ken Honda: That’s such a helpful reminder. Saito, can you share a story where your philosophy of using positive language led to unexpected luck?
Saito Hitori: Of course! I once met someone at a café who complimented my watch. Instead of just thanking them, I said, “I’m lucky to meet someone with such great taste!” That sparked a conversation that led to a business collaboration I could never have imagined. Luck often starts with small moments and positive words.
Ken Honda: What a great example of creating opportunities through positivity. Harv, what’s one habit people can adopt today to invite more luck into their lives?
T. Harv Eker: Take action. Luck doesn’t find you when you’re sitting still. Set a goal, take small steps toward it, and trust that the universe will meet you halfway. Action creates momentum, and momentum attracts opportunities.
Ken Honda: Such practical advice. Rhonda, what’s one practice you’d recommend for those who feel stuck and unlucky?
Rhonda Byrne: Visualize the life you want every day. Close your eyes, see it in your mind, and feel the joy and gratitude as if it’s already yours. This practice aligns your energy with what you desire, making it easier for luck to flow into your life.
Ken Honda: Thank you all for sharing such transformative insights. To close, let’s each share one key takeaway for making luck your ally. Saito?
Saito Hitori: Speak positively and create luck for others—it will return to you tenfold.
T. Harv Eker: Prepare yourself with the right habits and mindset. Luck comes to those who are ready.
Rhonda Byrne: Focus on gratitude and visualize your desires. Luck is the universe responding to your energy.
Ken Honda: Thank you all. Making luck your ally is about mindset, preparation, and action. Let’s remember that we have the power to invite good fortune into our lives every day.
11 - Healing the Dark Side Within You
Ken Honda: Welcome, everyone. Today, we’re discussing a deeply personal and transformative topic: healing the dark side within you. This is about embracing the parts of ourselves we often try to hide or deny. Debbie, let’s start with you. Your work focuses on shadow work. How do you define the “dark side,” and why is it important to face it?
Debbie Ford: Thank you, Ken. The “dark side” refers to the parts of ourselves we reject or suppress—things like fear, anger, or shame. We push them away because we think they make us unlovable, but the truth is, they’re part of being human. When we embrace these parts, we transform them. Instead of being controlled by them, we integrate them into a more authentic and empowered self.
Ken Honda: That’s such a powerful approach, Debbie. Eckhart, your work often talks about transcending the ego and finding presence. How does this connect to healing our darker sides?
Eckhart Tolle: Thank you, Ken. The dark side is often fueled by the ego, which thrives on fear and separation. When you bring presence and awareness to these inner shadows, you dissolve their power. Instead of being caught in the drama of your mind, you step into a space of stillness where healing naturally occurs. The key is to observe without judgment—simply be with what arises.
Ken Honda: Such a calming perspective, Eckhart. Brené, your research on vulnerability and shame sheds light on the emotional aspects of the dark side. How do you encourage people to address these feelings?
Brené Brown: Thanks, Ken. Shame and vulnerability are at the heart of the dark side. Shame tells us we’re not good enough, while vulnerability makes us feel exposed. The antidote is courage—being willing to show up and say, “This is me, flaws and all.” When we share our struggles with trusted people, we bring light to the shadows. Shame can’t survive empathy.
Ken Honda: That’s such an empowering perspective. Debbie, how can someone begin the process of shadow work if they feel overwhelmed by their darker emotions?
Debbie Ford: Start small. Begin by noticing when you feel triggered or reactive—it’s often a clue that your shadow is at play. Then ask yourself, “What am I afraid to see or accept about myself?” Journaling can be a great tool for exploring these feelings. Remember, it’s not about fixing yourself—it’s about understanding and embracing all of who you are.
Ken Honda: That’s such a gentle way to start. Eckhart, many people feel stuck in cycles of negativity. How can they use presence to break free from these patterns?
Eckhart Tolle: Negativity thrives on identification—when you believe you are your thoughts or emotions. The moment you become aware of the negativity as a pattern, you create space between yourself and the thought. In that space, you’re no longer a prisoner of the mind. Practice being the observer. Even a few seconds of awareness can disrupt the cycle and bring peace.
Ken Honda: Such a practical technique, Eckhart. Brené, how do you suggest people build the courage to face their darker emotions, especially when they feel vulnerable?
Brené Brown: Vulnerability feels risky, but it’s the birthplace of connection and healing. Start by creating a safe space—whether it’s with a therapist, a journal, or a trusted friend. Practice self-compassion. Tell yourself, “It’s okay to feel this way,” and remind yourself that everyone struggles. Courage isn’t about eliminating fear; it’s about taking action despite it.
Ken Honda: That’s such a compassionate approach. Debbie, how can we reframe the way we view our darker sides so they become a source of strength?
Debbie Ford: See your dark side as a teacher. Anger can show you where your boundaries are. Fear can highlight what matters most to you. Even shame can guide you toward authenticity when you work through it. These emotions aren’t enemies—they’re signals that something within you needs attention and love.
Ken Honda: That’s such a transformative way to look at it. Eckhart, how can mindfulness help someone stay present as they navigate their darker emotions?
Eckhart Tolle: Mindfulness is about anchoring yourself in the present moment. When darker emotions arise, instead of resisting them, acknowledge their presence. Feel the physical sensations in your body without adding a story. This practice allows the emotion to move through you instead of getting stuck. Presence is the alchemy that transforms pain into peace.
Ken Honda: Beautifully said. Brené, how can we use connection with others to heal the parts of ourselves we struggle with the most?
Brené Brown: Connection is the key to healing. When we share our struggles, we realize we’re not alone. The act of being seen and accepted by others helps us accept ourselves. Surround yourself with people who can hold space for your vulnerability and offer compassion without judgment. Healing doesn’t happen in isolation—it happens in community.
Ken Honda: Such profound wisdom. Let’s close with one takeaway from each of you for those who want to heal their darker sides. Debbie?
Debbie Ford: Embrace your shadows—they hold the key to your wholeness.
Eckhart Tolle: Be present with your pain. Awareness is the beginning of transformation.
Brené Brown: Have the courage to be vulnerable. You’re worthy of love and belonging, just as you are.
Ken Honda: Thank you all for such transformative insights. Healing the dark side within us is a journey of self-awareness, compassion, and courage. Let’s remember that even our shadows are part of the light.
12 - Learning from Mentors and Passing on Teachings
Ken Honda: Welcome, everyone. Today, we’re exploring the importance of learning from mentors and passing on those lessons to others. Mentorship is a cycle of growth and connection, and I’m thrilled to hear your perspectives. Robin, let’s start with you. Why do you believe mentorship is so important in both personal and professional growth?
Robin Sharma: Thank you, Ken. Mentorship accelerates growth because it allows us to learn from someone else’s experiences. It’s like having a guide who lights the path ahead, saving us from unnecessary detours. But mentorship isn’t just about receiving wisdom—it’s about embodying what you’ve learned and sharing it with others. That’s how the cycle of greatness continues.
Ken Honda: That’s such a powerful perspective, Robin. Carla, you’ve mentored many throughout your career. What do you believe makes a great mentor?
Carla Harris: Thanks, Ken. A great mentor listens deeply and meets you where you are. They don’t impose their views but guide you to uncover your own potential. A great mentor also believes in you, sometimes more than you believe in yourself. Their role is to push you out of your comfort zone while providing a safety net of encouragement and trust.
Ken Honda: Beautifully said, Carla. Liz, your work focuses on leaders who amplify the talents of others. How does mentorship fit into this idea of being a “multiplier”?
Liz Wiseman: Thanks, Ken. Mentorship is at the heart of being a multiplier. A great mentor doesn’t just share knowledge—they create opportunities for growth. They inspire people to stretch beyond their limits and think bigger. A true mentor focuses on asking the right questions, not just giving the right answers, which helps mentees develop their own problem-solving skills.
Ken Honda: That’s such an empowering approach, Liz. Robin, how do you recommend someone find the right mentor, especially if they feel uncertain about where to start?
Robin Sharma: Start by identifying what you want to learn or achieve. Then look for someone who exemplifies those qualities. A mentor doesn’t have to be a formal relationship—it could be someone you admire from afar or someone whose work inspires you. Be brave and reach out. Most people are happy to share their wisdom when approached with genuine curiosity and respect.
Ken Honda: That’s great advice, Robin. Carla, what do you suggest for someone who feels they don’t have anything to offer in return to a mentor?
Carla Harris: First, remember that mentors don’t expect a transactional relationship—they mentor because they care about growth and giving back. That said, you do have something to offer: gratitude, commitment, and the willingness to learn. Showing respect for their time and acting on their advice is the best way to honor the relationship.
Ken Honda: Such an important point, Carla. Liz, how can someone ensure they’re passing on what they’ve learned in a way that inspires others?
Liz Wiseman: Focus on empowerment rather than instruction. Share your experiences, but don’t dictate what others should do. Encourage them to think critically, experiment, and make their own decisions. When you pass on knowledge in a way that fosters independence, you’re not just teaching—you’re inspiring the next generation of leaders.
Ken Honda: That’s such a valuable approach. Robin, mentorship often evolves into friendship or collaboration. How can mentees and mentors build a relationship that grows over time?
Robin Sharma: The key is mutual respect and shared values. When both parties are invested in the relationship, it naturally deepens. Stay in touch, celebrate each other’s successes, and be open to learning from one another. Remember, even as a mentee, you have insights and perspectives that can inspire your mentor.
Ken Honda: That’s such an inspiring perspective, Robin. Carla, how do you encourage mentees to eventually take on the role of mentor themselves?
Carla Harris: I remind them that mentorship isn’t about being perfect—it’s about being present. Once you’ve grown from your own experiences, look for someone who can benefit from what you’ve learned. Passing on your knowledge creates a ripple effect that extends far beyond you.
Ken Honda: That’s such a beautiful way to see it. Liz, what role does humility play in being both a great mentor and mentee?
Liz Wiseman: Humility is everything. As a mentor, humility allows you to listen and learn from your mentee, seeing the relationship as a two-way street. As a mentee, humility opens you up to feedback and growth. Both roles require you to set aside ego and focus on the shared journey.
Ken Honda: Such wise words. Let’s close with one piece of advice for those looking to engage in mentorship, either as a mentor or mentee. Robin?
Robin Sharma: Be bold. Seek out mentors and embody what you learn to inspire others.
Carla Harris: Show up with an open heart, a willingness to learn, and a commitment to pass it forward.
Liz Wiseman: Focus on empowerment. The greatest mentors inspire others to grow beyond them.
Ken Honda: Thank you all for sharing such profound insights. Mentorship is a gift we give and receive, and it’s one of the most meaningful ways to create a legacy. Let’s embrace the cycle of learning and teaching, lifting each other to new heights.
13 - Turning Connections into Wealth
Ken Honda: Welcome, everyone. Today, we’re discussing how to turn connections into wealth—not just financial wealth, but also social and emotional abundance. Building meaningful relationships is key to creating opportunities and achieving success. Keith, let’s start with you. In Never Eat Alone, you emphasize the value of authentic networking. How can people build connections that truly matter?
Keith Ferrazzi: Thank you, Ken. Networking isn’t about collecting business cards—it’s about building authentic relationships based on trust and generosity. To start, focus on how you can add value to others. When you approach relationships with the mindset of giving rather than taking, you create a foundation for meaningful and mutually beneficial connections.
Ken Honda: That’s such an important principle, Keith. Adam, your work highlights how generosity can lead to success. How does this approach help people turn connections into wealth?
Adam Grant: Thanks, Ken. Generosity creates a ripple effect. When you help others succeed, they often feel inspired to help you in return. But more importantly, it builds your reputation as someone who’s trustworthy and collaborative. Over time, this goodwill translates into opportunities, partnerships, and even financial success. The key is to give without expecting immediate returns—relationships flourish when they’re built on genuine care.
Ken Honda: That’s such a valuable perspective, Adam. Daniel, your book Key Person of Influence talks about leveraging connections to build wealth and influence. How do you recommend people approach this process?
Daniel Priestley: Thanks, Ken. The key is to focus on becoming valuable to your network. Ask yourself, “What can I contribute to the people around me?” Whether it’s knowledge, skills, or introductions, the more value you provide, the more others want to connect with you. Once you’ve built strong relationships, those connections naturally create opportunities for collaboration, growth, and wealth.
Ken Honda: Such practical advice, Daniel. Keith, many people feel uncomfortable networking because they see it as transactional. How can they shift their mindset to make it more meaningful?
Keith Ferrazzi: Great question, Ken. The first step is to stop thinking of networking as a transaction and start seeing it as an opportunity to build community. Ask yourself, “How can I make this person’s life better?” Whether it’s through advice, encouragement, or connecting them to someone in your circle, focus on creating value. The more you give, the more natural and fulfilling networking becomes.
Ken Honda: That’s such a refreshing approach. Adam, how can people balance generosity with protecting their own time and energy?
Adam Grant: Generosity doesn’t mean saying yes to everything—it’s about being intentional. Focus on the areas where you can create the most value without overextending yourself. For example, set boundaries by dedicating specific time to mentoring or helping others. Remember, you’re most effective when you take care of yourself, too.
Ken Honda: Such wise advice, Adam. Daniel, once someone has built a strong network, how can they effectively leverage those connections to create wealth?
Daniel Priestley: Leverage comes from collaboration. Identify ways you and your connections can create mutual value—whether it’s launching a joint venture, sharing resources, or co-creating something unique. Also, don’t be afraid to ask for help or introductions when you need them. A strong network thrives on reciprocity, so don’t hesitate to tap into the resources you’ve built.
Ken Honda: That’s so actionable, Daniel. Keith, how do you recommend maintaining and deepening connections over time?
Keith Ferrazzi: Stay consistent. Regularly check in with your network—not just when you need something, but to celebrate their successes, offer encouragement, or simply connect. Small gestures, like sending a thoughtful message or remembering a milestone, go a long way in strengthening relationships.
Ken Honda: Such a simple yet powerful practice. Adam, what role does gratitude play in building and maintaining connections?
Adam Grant: Gratitude is essential. When someone helps you, take the time to thank them sincerely. A handwritten note or a heartfelt message shows that you value their contribution. Gratitude not only strengthens your bond but also reinforces a culture of generosity in your network.
Ken Honda: Such a meaningful reminder. Daniel, how can people ensure their network grows with them as they evolve in their careers or personal lives?
Daniel Priestley: Focus on building relationships with people who share your values and growth mindset. As you evolve, naturally gravitate toward those who inspire you and challenge you to grow. Stay open to meeting new people, but also invest in deepening the connections that truly matter.
Ken Honda: That’s such valuable advice. Let’s close with one takeaway from each of you for those looking to turn connections into wealth. Keith?
Keith Ferrazzi: Focus on giving first. Authentic generosity is the foundation of every great relationship.
Adam Grant: Build relationships on trust and care. Success flows from helping others succeed.
Daniel Priestley: Add value to your network, and those connections will naturally create opportunities for you.
Ken Honda: Thank you all for sharing your wisdom. Turning connections into wealth isn’t just about material success—it’s about creating a life of meaning, collaboration, and abundance. Let’s all commit to nurturing relationships with generosity and intention.
14 - Competing Using a Combination of Talents
Ken Honda: Welcome, everyone. Today, we’re discussing how to compete in life and work by combining talents. Many of us have diverse skills and interests, and the key to success often lies in blending them creatively. Scott, let’s start with you. In your book, you talk about how being “good enough” in multiple areas can lead to greatness. Could you expand on that?
Scott Adams: Thanks, Ken. The idea is simple: you don’t need to be the best at one thing to succeed. Instead, combine several skills where you’re above average, and together, they create a unique advantage. For example, I’m not the best artist, writer, or humorist, but I combined those skills to create Dilbert. The intersection of talents is where innovation happens.
Ken Honda: That’s such a refreshing perspective, Scott. Emily, you champion the idea of being a “multipotentialite.” How does embracing multiple interests help people thrive?
Emily Wapnick: Thanks, Ken. Multipotentialites are people who don’t fit into a single box—they love exploring diverse fields. This diversity is a strength because it allows you to connect ideas from different areas and approach problems in unique ways. Instead of seeing your varied interests as a weakness, embrace them as the source of your creative power.
Ken Honda: That’s such an empowering message, Emily. Twyla, your work as a choreographer combines creativity, discipline, and storytelling. How has blending different talents shaped your career?
Twyla Tharp: Thanks, Ken. For me, combining talents is the essence of creativity. Choreography isn’t just about movement—it’s about music, space, and emotion. By blending these elements, I create something greater than the sum of its parts. The key is to stay curious and disciplined. Explore new skills, but also commit to mastering the ones that matter most to your vision.
Ken Honda: Such a beautiful perspective, Twyla. Scott, how can someone identify which of their skills to combine for maximum impact?
Scott Adams: Start by listing your strengths and interests, then look for intersections. Ask yourself, “What unique value can I create by combining these skills?” For example, if you’re a decent coder and a great communicator, you might excel at explaining complex tech concepts to non-technical audiences. Experiment with combinations until you find one that feels natural and impactful.
Ken Honda: That’s such a practical approach. Emily, what advice would you give to someone who feels overwhelmed by having too many interests?
Emily Wapnick: It’s common for multipotentialites to feel scattered, but the key is to embrace what I call “idea synthesis.” Instead of trying to pursue everything at once, look for ways your interests overlap. Create a project that allows you to explore multiple passions simultaneously. And remember, it’s okay to cycle through interests—curiosity is a strength, not a burden.
Ken Honda: That’s so reassuring, Emily. Twyla, how do you encourage people to develop discipline when they’re juggling multiple talents?
Twyla Tharp: Discipline is about consistency, not perfection. Build habits that support your creativity—whether it’s setting aside time to practice daily or keeping a journal to track your ideas. Structure creates freedom. When you have a routine, you free your mind to focus on combining talents and exploring new possibilities.
Ken Honda: That’s such a great reminder, Twyla. Scott, how can someone use their unique combination of talents to stand out in a competitive world?
Scott Adams: Focus on what makes you different, not what makes you the same. Your combination of skills is your competitive edge. Highlight the ways you approach problems differently or offer unique solutions. In a world of specialists, being a generalist with a unique mix of talents is often what gets you noticed.
Ken Honda: That’s so insightful, Scott. Emily, how can someone overcome self-doubt when they feel like they’re not excelling in any one area?
Emily Wapnick: Self-doubt often comes from comparing yourself to specialists. Remember, your strength lies in your ability to combine and innovate. Celebrate your progress and trust that your unique mix of skills will lead to something extraordinary. It’s not about being the best in one area—it’s about creating something only you can create.
Ken Honda: That’s such an encouraging perspective. Twyla, how can mindfulness help people stay focused while working on multiple talents?
Twyla Tharp: Mindfulness helps you stay present and intentional. When you’re working on a specific talent, give it your full attention. Avoid multitasking. By focusing deeply, even for a short time, you can make meaningful progress in multiple areas without feeling overwhelmed.
Ken Honda: Such a great practice, Twyla. Let’s close with one piece of advice from each of you for those looking to combine their talents effectively. Scott?
Scott Adams: Don’t aim for perfection—aim for uniqueness. Your combination of skills is your superpower.
Emily Wapnick: Embrace your curiosity and trust that your diverse interests are an asset, not a limitation.
Twyla Tharp: Stay disciplined and curious. The magic happens when preparation meets inspiration.
Ken Honda: Thank you all for sharing such incredible insights. Combining talents is about embracing who you are, exploring your unique mix of skills, and turning them into something extraordinary. Let’s all commit to celebrating our individuality and creating value in our own unique way.
15 - Turning Your Passion into Your Work
Imaginary Conversation
Topic: Turning Your Passion into Your Work
Moderator: Ken Honda
Participants:
- Marie Forleo: Author of Everything is Figureoutable and entrepreneur who helps people build lives they love.
- Cal Newport: Author of So Good They Can’t Ignore You, focusing on the intersection of passion and skill.
- Elizabeth Gilbert: Author of Big Magic, exploring creativity and the courage to pursue passion.
Ken Honda: Welcome, everyone. Today, we’re exploring how to turn your passion into your work—a dream for many, but often easier said than done. Our panelists bring unique perspectives on how to make this a reality. Marie, let’s start with you. In your work, you encourage people to create lives they love. How do you guide someone who wants to turn their passion into their career?
Marie Forleo: Thanks, Ken. The first step is clarity. Get specific about what you love to do and why it excites you. Then ask, “Who needs this?” and “How can I help them?” Passion alone isn’t enough—you need to solve a problem or bring value to others. Start small, experiment, and don’t wait for perfection. Action creates clarity, and clarity builds momentum.
Ken Honda: That’s such an actionable approach, Marie. Cal, in So Good They Can’t Ignore You, you emphasize developing rare skills over simply following your passion. How does this connect to building a career around what you love?
Cal Newport: Thanks, Ken. Passion often follows mastery. Instead of starting with “What do I love?” focus on building skills that make you valuable. As you gain expertise, you’ll find fulfillment and passion in the work you do. The key is deliberate practice—identify what matters in your field, and work tirelessly to become exceptional at it. Once you have rare skills, you gain the flexibility to shape your career around your interests.
Ken Honda: Such a practical perspective, Cal. Elizabeth, your work inspires people to embrace their creativity. How do you encourage someone to take the leap of turning a passion project into their life’s work?
Elizabeth Gilbert: Thanks, Ken. First, I tell people to take the pressure off their passion. Not every passion has to pay your bills right away. Instead, nurture it like you would a garden—give it time, love, and attention. If you want to turn it into a career, start by creating alongside your day job. Gradually, as it grows, you’ll feel ready to make the leap. Courage and patience are your best allies.
Ken Honda: That’s such a balanced approach, Elizabeth. Marie, many people feel stuck because they’re unsure if their passion is “good enough” to turn into a career. What advice do you give them?
Marie Forleo: I remind them that everything is figureoutable. If you feel drawn to something, there’s a reason. The world doesn’t need you to be perfect—it needs you to show up and offer your unique perspective. Test your ideas with small steps. Talk to people, offer your skills, and see what resonates. Clarity comes through action, not overthinking.
Ken Honda: Such a motivating perspective. Cal, how can someone balance the need for financial stability with pursuing their passion?
Cal Newport: Start by maintaining a solid foundation. Keep a stable job while building your passion on the side. Use this time to hone your skills and understand the market. Once your passion generates consistent value—and income—you can transition more confidently. Financial security allows you to take calculated risks, which is critical for long-term success.
Ken Honda: That’s such practical advice, Cal. Elizabeth, fear often holds people back from pursuing their passions. How do you encourage people to overcome that fear?
Elizabeth Gilbert: Fear is a natural part of the creative process. I tell people to let fear come along for the ride, but don’t let it drive. Acknowledge it, thank it for trying to protect you, and then move forward anyway. The antidote to fear is action. Even the smallest step toward your passion can build courage and momentum.
Ken Honda: Such a liberating way to approach fear. Marie, once someone starts pursuing their passion, how can they stay motivated when progress feels slow?
Marie Forleo: Progress is rarely linear, so celebrate small wins along the way. Remember your “why”—why you started and who you’re helping. Surround yourself with supportive people who believe in your vision. And, most importantly, keep learning and adapting. Slow progress is still progress.
Ken Honda: That’s such encouraging advice, Marie. Cal, how do you suggest people measure success when building a career around their passion?
Cal Newport: Measure success by the value you create, not just the money you earn. Are you solving meaningful problems? Are you building a reputation for excellence? These indicators show that you’re on the right track. Over time, financial success often follows when you consistently deliver value.
Ken Honda: Such a grounded perspective, Cal. Elizabeth, how can someone protect their passion from becoming a burden once it becomes their work?
Elizabeth Gilbert: Great question, Ken. When your passion becomes your work, it’s easy to lose the joy. Protect it by setting boundaries—don’t let the pressure to monetize every moment take over. Make time to create just for the love of it, without expectations. Remember, your passion chose you for a reason, so nurture it like the gift it is.
Ken Honda: Such a thoughtful reminder, Elizabeth. Let’s close with one key piece of advice for anyone looking to turn their passion into their work. Marie?
Marie Forleo: Start small and stay curious. Action is the bridge between your dreams and reality.
Cal Newport: Focus on building rare and valuable skills. Passion follows mastery.
Elizabeth Gilbert: Protect your joy. Let passion guide you, but don’t let pressure define it.
Ken Honda: Thank you all for such profound insights. Turning your passion into your work is a journey of discovery, discipline, and love. Let’s embrace the process and create lives that reflect our truest selves.
16 - Understanding the Purpose of Life
Ken Honda: Welcome, everyone. Today, we’re exploring the profound question of understanding the purpose of life. Each of you has reflected deeply on this topic, and I’m excited to hear your insights. Mo, let’s start with you. In Solve for Happy, you’ve outlined a formula for happiness. How does this relate to discovering the purpose of life?
Mo Gawdat: Thank you, Ken. I believe the purpose of life is closely tied to happiness, but not the fleeting kind. True happiness comes from aligning your life with your values and finding meaning in what you do. Life isn’t about acquiring things or achieving goals—it’s about contributing to something greater than yourself and living in harmony with the present moment.
Ken Honda: Such a thoughtful perspective, Mo. Robin, your work blends Indigenous wisdom and ecology. How do you connect understanding the purpose of life with living in harmony with nature?
Robin Wall Kimmerer: Thank you, Ken. For me, the purpose of life is about reciprocity. Nature teaches us that every being has a role to play, and our purpose is to give back to the world as much as we receive. By observing the generosity of the Earth, we learn that a meaningful life comes from gratitude, stewardship, and nurturing connections—with both the land and each other.
Ken Honda: That’s such a profound way to frame it, Robin. Ethan, your book Rules for a Knight offers reflections on a meaningful life. How do you approach understanding the purpose of life?
Ethan Hawke: Thanks, Ken. I think the purpose of life is about striving to be the best version of yourself while serving others. It’s about embracing discipline, kindness, and courage—not as ends in themselves, but as tools to create a meaningful existence. Life is short, and purpose is found in the way we live each day, moment by moment.
Ken Honda: Such inspiring wisdom, Ethan. Mo, many people feel lost when searching for their purpose. How can they begin to find clarity?
Mo Gawdat: Clarity starts with self-awareness. Ask yourself, “What brings me joy?” and “What do I care about most deeply?” Often, purpose emerges from the intersection of your passions and the ways you can serve others. Don’t rush the process—it’s okay to explore and experiment until you find what feels right.
Ken Honda: That’s such a practical approach, Mo. Robin, how can people deepen their sense of purpose through connection with the natural world?
Robin Wall Kimmerer: Spend time in nature and learn from it. Watch how trees share nutrients through their roots or how birds sing not just to survive but to celebrate. Nature reminds us that we’re part of a larger web of life, and our purpose is to contribute to that balance. Small acts—like planting a tree or tending a garden—can root you in gratitude and purpose.
Ken Honda: Such a beautiful practice, Robin. Ethan, how do courage and discipline play a role in living a purposeful life?
Ethan Hawke: Courage and discipline are the backbone of purpose. It takes courage to pursue what truly matters to you, especially when it’s unconventional or challenging. Discipline ensures you stay committed, even when the path is difficult. Together, they help you align your actions with your values and create a life of meaning.
Ken Honda: Such a motivating perspective, Ethan. Mo, how does mindfulness help people connect with their purpose?
Mo Gawdat: Mindfulness allows you to quiet the noise of external expectations and focus on what truly matters. When you’re present, you can observe your thoughts and feelings without judgment, which often reveals your deeper desires and values. Purpose isn’t something you find—it’s something you uncover by being fully aware of who you are.
Ken Honda: Such a grounding insight, Mo. Robin, how can gratitude help people stay aligned with their purpose?
Robin Wall Kimmerer: Gratitude shifts your focus from scarcity to abundance. When you recognize the gifts life has already given you, it becomes easier to see how you can give back. Gratitude is a guide—it shows you where your heart is and how you can live in harmony with your purpose.
Ken Honda: Such a beautiful reminder, Robin. Ethan, what role does service to others play in understanding the purpose of life?
Ethan Hawke: Service is at the heart of purpose. When you focus on how your actions can help others, you create meaning that extends beyond yourself. It doesn’t have to be grand—small acts of kindness and love are just as powerful. Purpose is found in the way we show up for others every day.
Ken Honda: Such wise advice, Ethan. Let’s close with one key takeaway from each of you about understanding the purpose of life. Mo?
Mo Gawdat: Purpose is about aligning your values, passions, and actions to contribute to the greater good.
Robin Wall Kimmerer: Purpose is rooted in reciprocity—giving back to the world as much as you receive.
Ethan Hawke: Live with courage, discipline, and love. Purpose is found in how you live each moment.
Ken Honda: Thank you all for sharing your wisdom. Understanding the purpose of life is a journey of self-discovery, connection, and contribution. Let’s embrace the present, honor the world around us, and live with gratitude and intention.
17 - Writing Your Funeral Eulogy: Reflecting on the Life You Want to Live
Ken Honda: Welcome, everyone. Today, we’re discussing a deeply reflective exercise: writing your own funeral eulogy. This isn’t just about contemplating the end of life—it’s about gaining clarity on how to live fully. Caitlin, as a mortician, you encourage people to confront mortality. How does this practice help us live more intentionally?
Caitlin Doughty: Thank you, Ken. Writing your eulogy forces you to face the reality of death, which most people avoid. When you think about what you want to be remembered for, you start living with more purpose. It’s not about perfection—it’s about aligning your actions with your values. Death isn’t the end of the conversation; it’s a lens through which we see what truly matters.
Ken Honda: That’s such a transformative perspective, Caitlin. Paul, your memoir reflects on life through the lens of a terminal diagnosis. How did contemplating your mortality shape your understanding of a meaningful life?
Paul Kalanithi: Thank you, Ken. Facing death brought incredible clarity. It stripped away the trivial and highlighted what mattered most: relationships, love, and the work I felt called to do. Writing my memoir was, in many ways, my eulogy. It helped me focus on the legacy I wanted to leave—not in grand achievements, but in the way I showed up for others and lived with integrity.
Ken Honda: Such profound wisdom, Paul. Lucy, you’ve carried Paul’s legacy forward and reflected on his insights. How do you view the act of writing a eulogy as a way to shape how we live?
Lucy Kalanithi: Thanks, Ken. Writing a eulogy is like holding up a mirror to your life. It asks you to imagine how others will remember you—not just what you did, but how you made them feel. It’s a powerful way to realign your actions with your values. Paul often said that life is not about avoiding suffering but about finding meaning within it. Writing your eulogy can help you focus on what gives your life that meaning.
Ken Honda: Such a heartfelt reflection, Lucy. Caitlin, many people are uncomfortable thinking about their death. How can they approach writing their eulogy with a sense of positivity or curiosity?
Caitlin Doughty: That discomfort is natural, but it’s also a sign of growth. I encourage people to approach this exercise as a celebration of life, not just an acknowledgment of death. Think about what brings you joy and what you want to leave behind. Your eulogy isn’t about who you’ve been—it’s about who you’re becoming.
Ken Honda: That’s such an empowering way to frame it. Paul, how can someone use their eulogy as a tool for making decisions in the present?
Paul Kalanithi: When you know what you want your legacy to be, it becomes a guide for your choices. Ask yourself, “Does this decision bring me closer to the life I want to live?” It’s a way of aligning your daily actions with your larger purpose. Life is fleeting, but that’s what makes every moment so valuable.
Ken Honda: That’s such a practical insight, Paul. Lucy, how can gratitude play a role in writing and living out your eulogy?
Lucy Kalanithi: Gratitude helps you focus on what’s already meaningful in your life. When you reflect on the people and experiences you’re most thankful for, it gives you clarity about what to prioritize. Gratitude turns your eulogy from a checklist of accomplishments into a celebration of connections and love.
Ken Honda: Such a grounding practice, Lucy. Caitlin, what role does community and connection play in shaping a meaningful eulogy?
Caitlin Doughty: A eulogy is often about how we’ve touched the lives of others. It’s a reminder that our connections define us as much as our individual actions. Building strong, loving relationships is one of the most meaningful ways to live—and it’s what people will remember most about us.
Ken Honda: Such a beautiful reminder, Caitlin. Let’s close with one key takeaway from each of you about the value of writing your eulogy. Caitlin?
Caitlin Doughty: Confronting death isn’t morbid—it’s liberating. Writing your eulogy helps you live with intention and courage.
Paul Kalanithi: Focus on what truly matters—love, relationships, and meaning. Your eulogy is a reflection of how you choose to live today.
Lucy Kalanithi: Let your eulogy be a celebration of gratitude and connection. It’s not about what you achieve, but how you show up for others.
Ken Honda: Thank you all for sharing such profound wisdom. Writing your funeral eulogy is a practice in clarity, gratitude, and purpose. Let’s embrace this exercise as a way to live more fully and create a legacy of love and meaning.
Short Bios:
Leave a Reply