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Welcome, everyone! Today, we're diving into an imaginary conversation that just might reshape how you see success, happiness, and authenticity.
We’re exploring ten pervasive “lies” that hold us back—limiting beliefs that Marcos Vázquez highlights in his powerful book, Invincible. These “lies” touch on everything from our ideas about success and failure to our need for approval and control.
Joining Marcos in this enlightening dialogue are some incredible minds: Viktor Frankl, whose experiences with meaning and resilience continue to inspire us; Joseph Campbell, who famously encouraged us to “follow our bliss”; and Thich Nhat Hanh, a master of mindfulness who teaches us to find peace and joy in each moment. We also have Brené Brown, Carl Jung, and Alan Watts, each bringing wisdom on courage, self-acceptance, and freedom from societal expectations.
So, grab your notebook or just settle in for a conversation that will inspire you to rethink what it means to live freely, with clarity, and on your terms.
Redefining Success and Happiness
Nick Sasaki: Welcome, everyone! Today, we're discussing Topic 1: Redefining Success and Happiness based on Marcos Vázquez’s insights from Invincible. Marcos, let’s start with your take on the Success Lie and Happiness Lie—how are these misconceptions shaping people’s lives?
Marcos Vázquez: Thanks, Nick. These two lies really capture how modern society pulls us away from genuine fulfillment. The Success Lie is the idea that success equals external achievements—wealth, social status, or power. And the Happiness Lie is that happiness is constant pleasure or avoiding discomfort. But true happiness and success don’t come from outside ourselves. Real success, to me, is living in alignment with our values, while happiness grows through resilience and pursuing a meaningful path, even when it’s challenging.
Nick Sasaki: So true. It’s easy to see how people can feel unfulfilled when they’re chasing something external. Viktor, your work on finding meaning, even in the harshest circumstances, really speaks to this. How do you see happiness in terms of meaning?
Viktor Frankl: Yes, happiness and meaning are deeply intertwined. Happiness, as I experienced it, is something we often only realize as a result of living purposefully, rather than by directly seeking it. In the camps, those who had a sense of purpose—whether rooted in faith, loved ones, or future hopes—were far more resilient. Happiness grows from within; it’s a deep sense of being anchored, rather than a constant state of pleasure.
Nick Sasaki: That makes so much sense, Viktor—finding a purpose that gives us a reason to keep going, even in hard times. Joseph, in your work, you encourage people to follow their own paths and embrace their unique journeys. How does that idea fit in with Marcos’s view on redefining success?
Joseph Campbell: It aligns perfectly, Nick. In my view, each person has a “hero’s journey”—a path that’s theirs alone to walk. Success, as society defines it, often distracts us from this journey. When we pursue external symbols of success, we can lose ourselves. True success, like Marcos says, is about living authentically, following what calls to our soul. This doesn’t mean it’s easy—often, it’s the harder path—but it’s where we find real fulfillment.
Nick Sasaki: Exactly, it’s the journey itself that brings meaning. Marcos, you mentioned that happiness is about resilience, which feels closely connected to what Joseph is saying about the hero’s journey. Do you think resilience is part of finding real happiness?
Marcos Vázquez: Absolutely, Nick. Life inevitably brings challenges, and our ability to navigate them shapes our happiness. Resilience isn’t about avoiding hardship; it’s about adapting, learning, and staying grounded in our purpose. The process itself—of meeting life’s ups and downs—is where we find a sense of fulfillment, rather than waiting for a “happy” ending.
Nick Sasaki: I love that. It’s like happiness isn’t a destination, but something that grows as we live with intention. Viktor, what do you think is the biggest barrier people face when trying to redefine success or happiness in their own lives?
Viktor Frankl: I believe the biggest challenge is our tendency to look outside ourselves for answers. When people follow the crowd or try to fit into societal norms of success, they’re often left feeling empty. It takes courage to look inward and ask, “What truly fulfills me?” This self-reflection, I think, is key to breaking free from these lies.
Nick Sasaki: Absolutely, it’s not easy to push back against what society expects. Joseph, you talk about stepping out of societal expectations in the hero’s journey. How do people find the courage to do that?
Joseph Campbell: It’s about listening to your own inner voice, Nick. Society offers many paths, but none of them will be as fulfilling as following your own. It requires embracing the unknown, because stepping away from external definitions of success feels risky. But when we do, we discover freedom, authenticity, and joy that only come from being true to ourselves.
Nick Sasaki: I see how it’s really about courage and a willingness to look inward. Marcos, if someone wanted to take practical steps to redefine success and happiness in their own life, where should they start?
Marcos Vázquez: Start small by identifying your personal values and aligning your daily actions with them. And avoid sources that amplify comparison, like social media, because they reinforce external definitions of success. Take steps each day toward goals that feel authentic to you, even if they aren’t what others would consider “impressive.” Real fulfillment is personal and internal.
Nick Sasaki: That’s powerful advice, Marcos. It sounds like the path to happiness and success is about finding what resonates inside, rather than chasing what’s outside. Thank you, Marcos, Viktor, and Joseph, for sharing such deep insights on this topic. You’ve given us all a lot to think about.
Embracing Failure and Discomfort for Growth
Nick Sasaki: Welcome back, everyone, to our next topic! Today, we’re exploring Topic 2: Embracing Failure and Discomfort for Growth, based on The Failure Lie and The Comfort Lie from Invincible. Marcos, can you start by sharing your thoughts on why these two lies are so limiting?
Marcos Vázquez: Sure, Nick. These lies are especially pervasive. The Failure Lie tells us that failure is something to avoid at all costs, as if it diminishes us. But failure is actually one of our greatest teachers, giving us valuable insight and resilience. The Comfort Lie insists that comfort should be our primary goal, but real growth only happens when we step outside our comfort zones. Embracing failure and discomfort is the key to becoming stronger and more capable.
Nick Sasaki: That really resonates, Marcos. So often, people try to avoid failure without realizing it could be their best opportunity to grow. J.K., you’ve openly shared about facing failure in your career before achieving success. How did embracing those setbacks shape you?
J.K. Rowling: Oh, it shaped me profoundly. I went through a period of immense struggle before Harry Potter was published—rejection letters, financial strain. But it was during those difficult times that I learned resilience. As Marcos mentioned, failure taught me what I was capable of enduring. By embracing those setbacks, I found the courage to pursue my dreams without fear of what others thought.
Nick Sasaki: That’s inspiring, J.K.! It really shows that failure can be the beginning of something great. Nassim, you talk about becoming "antifragile" in the face of challenges. How does discomfort play into this?
Nassim Nicholas Taleb: Discomfort is essential for growth, Nick. In a world where everything is controlled and comfortable, people become fragile, unable to handle stress. I argue that by embracing challenges and discomfort, we become "antifragile"—stronger and more adaptable. When you avoid discomfort, you miss out on the strengthening process. It’s like muscles; they only grow by being stressed, by being pushed beyond their comfort zone.
Nick Sasaki: That’s a great analogy, Nassim! And it highlights that discomfort is part of the process, not something to fear. Marcos, how do you see people building this kind of resilience in daily life?
Marcos Vázquez: I think it’s about starting with small steps. For example, doing something each day that’s slightly outside your comfort zone, like a challenging workout or a difficult conversation. These small acts build resilience gradually. Also, reframing failure as a learning opportunity—ask yourself, “What can I learn from this?” Over time, it rewires your mindset to see challenges as growth opportunities.
Nick Sasaki: That’s powerful, Marcos. Instead of avoiding difficult situations, it’s about stepping into them to grow. J.K., did you find that embracing discomfort helped you personally as well as professionally?
J.K. Rowling: Absolutely. During those difficult years, I learned that comfort wasn’t an option. I had to step out of what felt safe to keep moving forward, and through that, I found a deeper strength. When we stop fearing discomfort, we realize how much we’re actually capable of. Each time we face a challenge, we build a little more resilience and self-belief.
Nick Sasaki: And that builds a whole different kind of confidence, doesn’t it? Nassim, any advice on how people can begin shifting their mindset around discomfort?
Nassim Nicholas Taleb: I’d say, start by changing your relationship with risk. Many people believe risk is something to be minimized, but risks and challenges are what help us adapt. Choose to take on something small each day that feels uncomfortable—maybe start a new skill or ask for feedback on something vulnerable. By gradually increasing exposure to discomfort, you’ll find that you’re less fragile and more adaptable over time.
Nick Sasaki: Great insights, everyone. So, it sounds like embracing failure and discomfort isn’t about recklessness; it’s about using each challenge as a tool for growth. Marcos, any final thoughts on how people can integrate these ideas into their lives?
Marcos Vázquez: Absolutely, Nick. I’d suggest focusing on long-term growth over short-term comfort. Recognize that failure and discomfort are part of the journey and make a conscious effort to embrace them. When we look back, it’s often those challenging moments that shape us the most. Embracing them isn’t just about resilience—it’s about becoming the best version of ourselves.
Nick Sasaki: Thank you, Marcos, J.K., and Nassim. I think we’re all walking away with a fresh perspective on how failure and discomfort are allies in growth, not obstacles to avoid.
Focusing on Inner Control and Authentic Confidence
Nick Sasaki: Welcome back, everyone! Today, we’re diving into Topic 3: Focusing on Inner Control and Authentic Confidence based on The Control Lie, The Confidence Lie, and The Approval Lie from Invincible. Marcos, let’s start with you. How do these lies keep people from building genuine confidence and peace?
Marcos Vázquez: Thanks, Nick. These three lies are particularly challenging because they reinforce each other. The Control Lie convinces people they should control everything, even things outside their reach, leading to frustration. The Confidence Lie suggests we’re either born confident or not, making people hesitate until they “feel ready.” And The Approval Lie tells us our worth depends on others’ validation. But real confidence comes from focusing on what we can control, taking action regardless of fear, and seeking validation from within.
Nick Sasaki: So true, Marcos. So often, we waste energy on things outside our control, hoping that confidence will magically show up. Epictetus, as a Stoic philosopher, you emphasized focusing only on what’s within our control. How does that apply here?
Epictetus: Indeed, Nick. According to Stoicism, we only control our actions, decisions, and attitudes. Everything else—other people’s opinions, circumstances—is outside of our control. When people stop trying to control external outcomes and instead focus on controlling their reactions, they gain peace and confidence. Confidence grows when we know we can face life’s uncertainties, not because we can control them but because we trust ourselves to respond wisely.
Nick Sasaki: That’s a powerful shift, Epictetus. Letting go of what we can’t control sounds liberating. Brené, you’ve spoken about the importance of vulnerability in building authentic confidence. How does that relate to Marcos’s idea that confidence isn’t something we’re just born with?
Brené Brown: Absolutely, Nick. Confidence is something we build through action, even when we feel vulnerable. When we embrace vulnerability, we’re not waiting to feel “ready”; we’re stepping into uncertainty and growing through it. It’s a myth to think confident people don’t feel fear. They simply learn to move forward despite it, knowing that self-worth doesn’t depend on others’ approval.
Nick Sasaki: Yes, the idea of moving forward despite fear is powerful. Marcos, would you say that’s one of the keys to breaking free from the Confidence Lie?
Marcos Vázquez: Exactly, Nick. Waiting for confidence before we act is a trap. We gain confidence by taking action—by facing fears and proving to ourselves that we can handle challenges. And by focusing on the process rather than others’ reactions, we become more secure in ourselves.
Nick Sasaki: Makes so much sense. It’s about learning by doing, not waiting. Epictetus, going back to inner control, how does focusing on this help people move away from seeking approval?
Epictetus: When you focus on controlling only your responses, Nick, you learn to release attachment to how others perceive you. Approval-seeking is about relying on external validation for your sense of self. By focusing on integrity and self-acceptance, we free ourselves from the need for others’ opinions to validate our worth. This is true freedom.
Nick Sasaki: And that’s incredibly empowering—to realize our worth is internal, not dependent on what others think. Brené, do you think that practicing this helps people feel more authentic?
Brené Brown: Definitely, Nick. Authenticity requires us to let go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embrace who we truly are. It’s a daily practice of choosing honesty and integrity over trying to please others. When people stop seeking approval and act according to their values, they feel a confidence that’s grounded in who they are, not in how they’re perceived.
Nick Sasaki: I love that—confidence grounded in who we are. Marcos, what practical steps would you suggest for someone who wants to build this kind of confidence and focus on inner control?
Marcos Vázquez: I’d recommend starting with small actions that align with your values, even if they feel uncomfortable. Notice when you’re seeking approval and ask yourself, “What would I do if others’ opinions didn’t matter?” By making choices based on your values, you build trust in yourself. And practice daily gratitude for things within your control—your actions, your mindset, your growth.
Nick Sasaki: Great advice, Marcos. Thank you, Marcos, Epictetus, and Brené, for these powerful insights on building authentic confidence and focusing on what we can control. It’s a true path to self-empowerment.
Letting Go of Comparison and External Approval
Nick Sasaki: Welcome back, everyone! Today we’re exploring Topic 4: Letting Go of Comparison and External Approval, based on The Comparison Lie and The Approval Lie from Invincible. Marcos, you talk about how comparing ourselves to others and seeking their approval can hold us back from true happiness. Could you start by sharing your thoughts on these two lies?
Marcos Vázquez: Absolutely, Nick. The Comparison Lie tricks us into believing our worth is determined by how we measure up against others, while The Approval Lie convinces us that we need others’ validation to be valuable. Both these lies keep us chasing something outside ourselves, making it impossible to feel truly satisfied. True self-acceptance comes when we focus inward, understanding that our path is unique and our worth isn’t something anyone else can define.
Nick Sasaki: So true, Marcos. It’s easy to get lost in comparisons, especially with social media constantly showing other people’s “highlight reels.” Carl, you’ve written about the concept of individuation—finding your unique path. How do you think that relates to breaking free from these lies?
Carl Jung: It relates directly, Nick. Individuation is about embracing who we truly are rather than becoming what society expects. When we compare ourselves to others, we’re not seeing our own journey clearly; we’re trying to live out someone else’s. Letting go of comparison and approval frees us to live authentically. The inner journey is about understanding and accepting our true selves, not striving to match someone else’s path.
Nick Sasaki: Exactly, Carl—it’s like comparing doesn’t even make sense because we’re each on a unique path. Eleanor, you’ve famously spoken about the power of self-reliance and not letting others define us. Could you share your perspective on letting go of external approval?
Eleanor Roosevelt: Of course, Nick. I often say, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” When we rely on external validation, we give others control over our self-worth. Real self-worth comes from within, from knowing who we are and being proud of our integrity. Seeking approval from others only weakens us; it leads to self-doubt and dependency. Strength grows when we stand by our own principles, regardless of others’ opinions.
Nick Sasaki: That’s so empowering, Eleanor. By focusing on our values, we take back control. Marcos, what do you suggest for people who feel stuck in comparison and approval-seeking? How can they start to shift that mindset?
Marcos Vázquez: I suggest starting by setting boundaries with social media or other sources that encourage comparison. Practice focusing on what makes you feel fulfilled and authentic, regardless of how it “looks” to others. And when you catch yourself seeking approval, ask, “Is this true to my values?” Over time, making choices that align with your values builds inner confidence, and the need for external validation fades.
Nick Sasaki: That’s great advice, Marcos. And it makes me think—when we stop comparing, we open up space for self-acceptance. Alan, you’ve encouraged people to live authentically and let go of societal conditioning. How do you think this mindset of inner freedom contributes to happiness?
Alan Watts: Inner freedom, Nick, is everything. When we let go of society’s labels and expectations, we step into a life that’s truly ours. The constant need for approval and comparison are like cages that restrict us. Happiness emerges when we stop trying to fit into these molds and start listening to our own hearts. This way, we find peace in being ourselves, not in trying to live up to external standards.
Nick Sasaki: It really feels like we’re talking about freedom—the freedom to be ourselves without constantly measuring up. Marcos, any final words on how we can practice this freedom from comparison and approval?
Marcos Vázquez: Yes, Nick. I’d say it comes down to daily choices—each time we choose our own values over someone else’s opinion, we strengthen our inner sense of self. Practice gratitude for what’s unique to your life, and remind yourself that no one else’s journey is meant to mirror your own. With time, focusing on your path over others’ opinions leads to a grounded sense of self-worth and fulfillment.
Nick Sasaki: Thank you, Marcos, Carl, Eleanor, and Alan. You’ve really highlighted the importance of letting go of comparison and living from a place of inner confidence and self-acceptance. It’s a liberating way to live, and I think we’re all feeling inspired to embrace it.
Finding Fulfillment in the Present and Relationships
Nick Sasaki: Welcome back, everyone, to our final topic! Today, we’re exploring Topic 5: Finding Fulfillment in the Present and Relationships, focusing on The Independence Lie and The Destination Lie from Invincible. Marcos, can you start by explaining why these two lies are limiting us from real happiness?
Marcos Vázquez: Certainly, Nick. The Independence Lie suggests that we should be entirely self-sufficient to be strong, which overlooks the importance of meaningful relationships. Real fulfillment often comes from connections and shared experiences. The Destination Lie is the idea that happiness lies somewhere in the future—after we reach a certain goal. This mindset robs us of the present, making us think fulfillment is always just “one step away,” when in reality, it’s right here, in this moment.
Nick Sasaki: That’s so true, Marcos. People spend so much time thinking happiness is somewhere in the future. Thich Nhat Hanh, you’ve taught about mindfulness and living fully in the present. How do you think that practice can help us see that fulfillment isn’t a destination?
Thich Nhat Hanh: Yes, Nick. Mindfulness is the practice of being fully present in each moment. When we’re truly in the present, we see that joy and fulfillment are available here and now, not in some distant place. If we’re always looking to the future for happiness, we miss the beauty in front of us. Happiness grows from embracing each moment as it is, with gratitude and compassion for ourselves and others.
Nick Sasaki: That’s beautifully put, Thich Nhat Hanh. It makes me think that the present moment is more than enough if we can fully appreciate it. Martin, your work on deep, meaningful connections also ties into this idea of fulfillment in the present. Can you share your perspective on how relationships contribute to happiness?
Martin Buber: Certainly, Nick. In my philosophy of “I-Thou” relationships, I emphasize that true fulfillment comes from genuine, present connections with others. When we fully engage with another person, seeing them as an individual rather than an “object” or a “means,” we experience a profound sense of presence and connection. This deep engagement gives life richness and meaning that no personal achievement alone can provide.
Nick Sasaki: I love that, Martin—seeing relationships as moments of shared presence rather than just things we “have.” Desmond, you’ve always promoted unity and community. How do you see connection and compassion as part of living a fulfilled life?
Desmond Tutu: Thank you, Nick. In my experience, connection and compassion are essential to fulfillment. When we nurture our relationships and serve others, we’re reminded of our shared humanity. True happiness is not found in isolation or individual success but in caring for each other, lifting each other up. When we recognize that we’re part of something larger than ourselves, we experience a kind of joy that’s enduring and deeply fulfilling.
Nick Sasaki: That’s so powerful, Desmond. We really are interconnected, and that’s something we often overlook. Marcos, what practical steps would you suggest for someone wanting to shift from independence to a more connected, present-focused way of living?
Marcos Vázquez: I’d start with small, daily practices that build mindfulness and connection. Practice gratitude for what’s around you right now, rather than waiting for something in the future to bring happiness. And reach out to the people around you—invest in relationships without expecting anything in return. The more we practice presence and gratitude, the more we see that fulfillment is in the journey, not just the destination.
Nick Sasaki: I couldn’t agree more, Marcos. It seems like fulfillment really is about engaging fully with life and connecting with those around us. Thich Nhat Hanh, any advice on how to cultivate this sense of presence and connection in our daily lives?
Thich Nhat Hanh: I would suggest beginning with mindful breathing, Nick. When we bring our attention to our breath, we’re reminded to be present. As we go about our day, we can practice walking and listening mindfully, truly experiencing each step, each interaction. In this way, we learn to appreciate each moment and connect with others more deeply.
Nick Sasaki: That’s wonderful advice, Thich Nhat Hanh. It reminds me that each moment, each interaction can be a source of fulfillment if we allow it. Marcos, any final thoughts on embracing fulfillment in the present and through relationships?
Marcos Vázquez: Yes, Nick. I’d say, let’s remember that fulfillment is about presence and connection, not arriving somewhere. Life becomes richer when we stop waiting for the “perfect” moment or achievement and instead focus on appreciating what’s here and now. When we’re present with ourselves and others, we experience a sense of purpose that’s far more lasting than anything external.
Nick Sasaki: Thank you, Marcos, Thich Nhat Hanh, Martin, and Desmond. This has been a deeply insightful conversation. You’ve shown us that real happiness and fulfillment aren’t somewhere “out there” but are found here, in the present, in the connections we share. I think we all walk away with a renewed appreciation for the power of now and the strength of human connection.
Short Bios:
Marcos Vázquez is the author of Invincible, where he challenges ten common beliefs he sees as limiting personal growth and fulfillment. Known for his holistic approach, Vázquez emphasizes resilience, purpose, and authentic living.
Viktor Frankl was a psychiatrist, Holocaust survivor, and the founder of logotherapy, a therapeutic approach centered on finding meaning in life. His book, Man's Search for Meaning, explores how purpose can sustain us through life's toughest challenges.
Joseph Campbell was an American professor, mythologist, and author, best known for his work on the “hero’s journey.” His teachings on following one’s bliss and embracing personal transformation have inspired countless readers and creatives.
Thich Nhat Hanh was a renowned Vietnamese Zen master and peace activist who popularized mindfulness and the art of “being present.” His teachings on compassion, meditation, and peace remain influential around the world.
Brené Brown is a research professor and author known for her work on vulnerability, courage, and authenticity. Her books and talks emphasize the power of embracing imperfections to build real confidence and self-worth.
Carl Jung was a Swiss psychiatrist and the founder of analytical psychology, exploring concepts like individuation and the “self.” His work on the human psyche, including the shadow self, is foundational to modern psychology.
Eleanor Roosevelt was a former First Lady of the United States, human rights activist, and writer. Known for her quotes on self-worth and courage, she encouraged people to live authentically and to trust their inner strength.
Nassim Nicholas Taleb is an author and scholar known for his work on uncertainty and risk. His book Antifragile argues that challenges and adversity can strengthen us, coining the term “antifragility” to describe this resilient growth.
Alan Watts was a British philosopher and writer known for translating Eastern philosophy for Western audiences. His teachings focused on self-acceptance, inner freedom, and the rejection of societal conditioning.
J.K. Rowling is a British author best known for the Harry Potter series. Beyond her literary success, she has openly discussed her journey through failure and rejection, emphasizing resilience and courage.
Epictetus was a Greek Stoic philosopher who taught that true freedom and peace come from focusing only on what we can control. His teachings remain central to Stoicism, especially regarding resilience and inner strength.
Desmond Tutu was a South African Anglican bishop, theologian, and human rights advocate known for his work in the fight against apartheid. His life and teachings emphasized compassion, community, and the importance of unity.
Martin Buber was an Austrian philosopher known for his philosophy of “I-Thou” relationships, which highlights the depth of human connection. His work underscores the significance of genuine, meaningful relationships.
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