Ultimate 5-Day Israel Adventure with Conan: History & Legends

The screen fades in to reveal Conan O’Brien standing on a rooftop in Jerusalem, the golden Dome of the Rock shimmering in the background. A soft breeze ruffles his iconic red hair as he grips a microphone and squints dramatically into the camera.

Conan O’Brien:  (gesturing widely) "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the greatest, most chaotic, and potentially most ill-advised adventure of my life! That’s right, I’m in Israel—the land of prophets, kings, and people who can negotiate better than my own accountant."

The camera zooms out, revealing the ancient limestone buildings of Jerusalem, the bustling streets below filled with a mix of religious pilgrims, street musicians, and local vendors shouting over each other.

Conan:  (pointing to the city below) "Now, if you know me, you know I’m not exactly what you’d call 'a seasoned explorer.' My idea of adventure is finding an outlet at an airport before my phone dies. But today, that all changes! Because over the next five days, I’ll be traveling across this incredible country, and trust me—things are about to get weird."

Cue a montage: Conan awkwardly trying to float in the Dead Sea, getting hilariously lost in an ancient tunnel, dodging an overly enthusiastic camel, and getting dramatically "baptized" by Chris Pratt in the Jordan River.

The Crew of Chaos

The camera cuts to a split-screen, revealing the A-list lineup of Conan’s travel companions. One by one, they strike a pose as Conan introduces them.

Conan: "Now, I’m not doing this alone. Oh no, I needed a team of absolute maniacs to make this trip even more ridiculous. So joining me are…"

• Jack Black – "A man who will turn every historic site into a rock opera—whether people like it or not." (Cut to Jack singing dramatically at the Western Wall.)
• Ryan Reynolds – "A man whose only goal is to see me suffer. Just look at him." (Cut to Ryan laughing as Conan gets stuck in a tiny tunnel.)
• Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson – "He couldn’t float in the Dead Sea because he’s made of pure muscle. SCIENCE." (Cut to The Rock sinking while everyone else effortlessly floats.)
• Tiffany Haddish – "A woman who single-handedly turned Tel Aviv into a full-blown party." (Cut to Tiffany dancing in the streets with locals.)
• Seth Rogen – "Here to prove that Jewish humor and historical landmarks are a perfect match." (Cut to Seth cracking jokes inside an ancient synagogue.)
• Will Ferrell – "Somehow convinced he’s the reincarnation of a Crusader King." (Cut to Will dramatically swinging an imaginary sword in Akko.)
• Emma Stone – "The only one actually appreciating the beauty of Israel while the rest of us act like children." (Cut to Emma in awe at the Baha’i Gardens.)
• Chris Pratt – "The man responsible for my accidental baptism. Thanks a lot, Chris." (Cut to Conan gasping in the Jordan River while Chris laughs.)
• Awkwafina – "Here to roast me every step of the way, and I love it." (Cut to Awkwafina filming Conan as he trips on ancient ruins.)
• Omer Adam – "Israeli pop sensation and my new favorite human bargaining machine." (Cut to Omer saving Conan from getting scammed at a market.)
• Gal Gadot – "She’s Wonder Woman. That’s it. That’s the intro." (Cut to Gal gracefully walking through Jerusalem while Conan trips on a cobblestone.)

Meet Our (Questionable) Tour Guides

The camera cuts to a montage of Israel’s wildest tour guides, each of whom seems more unhinged than the last.

Conan:  (smirking, shaking his head) "Now, I was expecting a normal guided tour—you know, a nice person with a clipboard pointing at landmarks. But what I got… was a lineup of absolute characters."

• Ezra, the Archaeologist of Secrets (Jerusalem) – "A man who tried to convince me that every stone in this city hides a secret chamber—because of course they do."
• Zahir, the Bedouin Whisperer (Dead Sea & Masada) – "This guy led us through the desert and casually mentioned ‘a lost city’ like it was no big deal."
• Ziv, the Graffiti Artist (Tel Aviv) – "Taught us that graffiti is art. Also taught me that I’m terrible at spray painting."
• Captain Gideon, the Pirate Historian (Haifa & Akko) – "Dressed like an actual pirate and somehow convinced Will Ferrell he was a Crusader in a past life."
• Brother Eli, the Monk-Turned-Stand-Up Comic (Galilee & Nazareth) – "Ever heard of a monk who also does stand-up? Neither had I. Until now."

What You Can Expect From This Adventure

The camera zooms in on Conan, who leans closer, as if revealing a deep, dark secret.

Conan: "Over the next five days, we will witness:
✅ Biblical history—and by ‘witness,’ I mean Jack Black turning it into a Broadway musical.
✅ Epic food—which Seth Rogen will definitely spill on himself.
✅ Breathtaking scenery—which I won’t appreciate because Ryan Reynolds is too busy shoving me into tunnels.
✅ Wild nightlife—which Tiffany Haddish will absolutely dominate.
✅ Spiritual awakenings—which Will Ferrell will take way too seriously.
✅ And, most importantly… absolute mayhem.

Closing Shot – The Promise of Chaos

The camera cuts to quick clips: Conan sinking in the Dead Sea, being chased by a camel in the Negev, getting dunked in the Jordan River, and dancing horribly in a Tel Aviv nightclub while Tiffany Haddish cheers him on.

Conan:  (grinning at the camera, raising his arms) "So buckle up, folks. This is not your average travel show. This is Conan’s Insane Israel Adventure! It’s history, it’s culture, it’s religion—and somehow, it’s also a reality show about my slow emotional breakdown! LET’S DO THIS!"

The theme music swells as the title card appears: "Conan’s Insane Israel Adventure – Coming Soon to a Screen Near You!"

FADE TO BLACK.

(Note: This is an imaginary conversation, a creative exploration of an idea, and not a real speech or event.)

Day 1 – Jerusalem

Featuring: Jack Black, Paul Rudd, Gal Gadot, and a Secretive Tour Guide

Scene 1: The Western Wall – A Holy Start (9:00 AM)

The morning air in Jerusalem is crisp and golden, with the scent of fresh pita and spices drifting from the Old City’s winding alleys. The towering limestone blocks of the Western Wall glow warmly under the early sunlight, their surface worn smooth by centuries of prayers pressed into the cracks on tiny slips of paper. The murmur of worshippers fills the air—a hushed yet powerful harmony of whispered hopes and devotion.

Conan O’Brien:  (tilting his head, squinting at the wall) "So… do I just slide a note in like a divine suggestion box? Or does God have a secretary who filters through these?"

Jack Black:  (dramatically pressing his forehead against the stones, humming a Gregorian chant before breaking into an intense rock falsetto) "🎶 Ohhh mighty walllll, I summon thee! 🎶"

Paul Rudd:  (folding his arms, watching Jack with mild amusement) "Yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s how Moses did it."

Gal Gadot:  (grinning, stepping in to guide them) "Jack, the wall doesn’t do song requests, but if you hum a little quieter, maybe God will add you to His playlist."

The secretive tour guide, a mysterious archaeologist named Ezra, appears from nowhere, wearing a dusty wide-brimmed hat, a vest full of secret compartments, and an aura of "I know things no one else does." He leans in dramatically.

Ezra (The Tour Guide): "Did you know... there's an underground tunnel system beneath the Wall that tourists never see? It was part of an ancient escape route. Wanna see it?"

Conan and Jack exchange glances.

Conan: "I’m 80% sure this is how Indiana Jones movies start, and 100% sure I’ll be the guy who gets left behind in the tunnel."

Scene 2: The Temple Mount & Dome of the Rock (10:30 AM)

Ascending the steps to the Temple Mount, the group is struck by the breathtaking sight of the Dome of the Rock, its golden surface gleaming so brilliantly in the sunlight that Jack Black has to shield his eyes dramatically.

Jack Black: "It’s like the sun decided to flex its wealth."

Paul Rudd:  (pointing at Conan) "Yeah, this dome’s got more gold than your entire show’s budget."

Gal Gadot:  (rolling her eyes, but smiling) "Okay, fun fact: This is one of the holiest places in the world. For Jews, it’s where the First and Second Temples stood. For Muslims, it’s where the Prophet Muhammad ascended to heaven. And for Jack, it’s where he tries to harmonize with history."

Jack Black:  (spinning dramatically in place, arms wide, eyes closed) "🎶 Dome sweet dome, oh sacred hoooome… 🎶"

Ezra, the tour guide, strokes his beard knowingly.

Ezra: "There’s a lesser-known underground chamber called the ‘Well of Souls.’ Some believe it’s where spirits gather. I’ve been inside. It’s… eerie."

Conan pauses, taking in the information before looking at Jack.

Conan: "Jack, if we go down there, you realize there’s a 90% chance you accidentally awaken something, right?"

Scene 3: The Church of the Holy Sepulchre (1:30 PM)

The heavy scent of incense fills the cavernous church, its ancient stone walls echoing softly with the footsteps of pilgrims. The flickering glow of candlelight dances across the mosaic-tiled floors, giving the entire space an ethereal atmosphere.

Conan:  (whispering to Paul) "So this is where Jesus was crucified and resurrected. Big moment. Do we play it cool, or—?"

Jack Black:  (falling to his knees, spreading his arms wide like a medieval bard) "🎶 HE HAS RISENNN, AND SO HAVE WEEEE! 🎶"

Paul Rudd:  (nodding solemnly) "It’s like if Tenacious D wrote the New Testament."

Gal Gadot, unfazed, approaches the Stone of Anointing, running her fingers over its smooth surface.

Gal Gadot: "Pilgrims have been doing this for centuries. Some say you can still feel the energy here."

Ezra the tour guide leans in close, eyes twinkling.

Ezra: "There’s an undiscovered crypt beneath the church. It was sealed off centuries ago. Some say it holds relics never seen by modern eyes."

Conan takes a step back.

Conan: "Okay, let me just say—every time you start a sentence, I’m convinced we’re seconds away from unleashing an ancient curse."

Scene 4: Mount of Olives – The Sunset View (4:30 PM)

The group stands atop the Mount of Olives, overlooking the Old City bathed in golden light. The sun dips low, painting the sky in hues of orange and pink. A light breeze carries the scent of olive trees and distant spices from the markets below.

Jack Black:  (arms outstretched, looking over the city like Mufasa in The Lion King) "Behold! The kingdom of Jerusalem!"

Paul Rudd:  (nodding) "Pretty sure it belongs to actual people, Jack."

Gal Gadot watches the city in quiet admiration.

Gal Gadot: "It never gets old. This city has seen everything—kings, prophets, conquerors, tourists who think they’re funny…" (pauses, glancing at Conan and Jack)

Ezra: "And now… you. Right here, beneath these stones, they say King David walked. The air you breathe has been shared by generations of history."

For a brief moment, the comedy subsides. The weight of history settles in, the sounds of the call to prayer mingling with church bells in the distance. The golden city stretches before them, alive, ancient, eternal.

Conan:  (softly, for once being serious) "Wow… it’s beautiful."

Jack Black:  (nods, then suddenly grabs Conan’s shoulders, shaking him) "FEEL THE HOLINESS, CONAN! LET IT FLOW THROUGH YOU!"

Conan: "Alright, alright! Before this turns into a religious awakening or a musical, let’s go eat."

Final Scene: Dinner at Machneyuda (6:30 PM)

The restaurant is alive with the scent of roasting lamb, warm challah bread, and pomegranate-glazed meats. Chefs chant as they prepare dishes, clanging pots in rhythmic unison. The group sits around a wooden table, wine glasses in hand, laughter echoing over the hum of the bustling kitchen.

Conan:  (raising a glass) "To history, to friends, and to the fact that somehow, we made it through the first day without starting an international incident!"

Paul Rudd: "Yet. The trip’s not over yet."

Jack Black:  (lifting his glass, dramatically flipping his hair back) "And tomorrow, my friends, we shall float upon the Dead Sea… LIKE GODS!"

Gal Gadot:  (laughing, shaking her head) "You guys are insane."

Ezra:  (leaning in, voice hushed, twinkle in his eye) "Speaking of the Dead Sea… have I told you about the secret ruins no one knows about?"

Conan groans.

Conan: "Of course you have."

FADE TO BLACK.

Day 2 – Dead Sea & Masada

Featuring: Conan O’Brien, Ryan Reynolds, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, Bar Refaeli, and a Mysterious Bedouin Guide

Scene 1: The Drive Through the Judean Desert (7:00 AM)

The road to Masada stretches endlessly, winding through the Judean Desert, a vast landscape of golden-brown cliffs and ancient rock formations. The air is warm but crisp, and the rising sun casts long shadows across the dunes. A herd of camels stands lazily by the roadside, their eyes half-lidded in a perpetual state of 'couldn’t care less.'

Conan O’Brien:  (leaning out the car window, squinting at the horizon) "This looks exactly like the kind of place where Moses would have gotten lost for 40 years. I get lost for five minutes in a mall and start sweating."

Ryan Reynolds:  (putting on sunglasses, smirking) "Well, if Moses had Google Maps, the Old Testament would have been way shorter."

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson:  (arms crossed, scanning the cliffs like he’s about to film Jumanji 3) "This place is beautiful… but I feel like at any moment, I’m gonna have to wrestle a desert bandit for our survival."

Bar Refaeli, effortlessly cool, takes a sip of fresh pomegranate juice from a roadside stand, then gestures ahead.

Bar Refaeli: "You guys are in for something special. Masada is one of Israel’s greatest stories—heroism, rebellion, and the best sunrise view in the country."

A figure steps forward from the shadows of a date palm. Their robes billow dramatically in the wind. Their face is partially hidden by a turban, their eyes sharp and knowing.

Mysterious Bedouin Guide (Zahir):  (whispering) "I know paths no tourist has ever walked. Do you seek the real Masada?"

Conan immediately takes a step back.

Conan: "NOPE. NO. I already learned my lesson from Day 1. Every time someone in this country whispers something dramatic at me, I almost fall into an ancient crypt."

Scene 2: Masada – The Fortress of Legends (8:30 AM)

The group arrives at Masada, the legendary ancient fortress standing atop a towering plateau. The morning sun casts a golden glow over the stone ruins, and the silence is so profound it almost feels like the mountain itself is holding its breath. Below, the desert stretches endlessly toward the shimmering Dead Sea.

Ryan Reynolds:  (pointing at the cable car) "So, we’re taking this up, right? We’re not doing that crazy 'Snake Path' hike in the heat?"

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson:  (cracking his knuckles, grinning) "I say we hike. Builds character."

Conan:  (groaning, dramatically stretching his long limbs) "This is why I should never travel with people who have actual muscles."

Scene 3: The Masada Ruins – Hidden Tunnels & Lost Chambers (9:00 AM)

The wind whistles softly through the broken stone walls of Masada. Standing at the edge, the group looks down at the ruins of the ancient synagogue and Roman siege ramp. Their guide, Zahir, steps forward and lowers his voice conspiratorially.

Zahir (The Guide): "There is… a secret chamber beneath Masada. It is spoken of in old desert whispers."

Ryan Reynolds turns to Conan, smirking.

Ryan Reynolds: "Alright, who had ‘secret chamber’ on their ‘Ancient Curses’ bingo card?"

Bar Refaeli:  (laughing, nudging Conan) "You have to go check it out. Don’t be a coward."

Conan:  (throwing up his hands) "Oh, I’m sorry, Bar, I didn’t realize 'don’t awaken ancient spirits' was a cowardly thing!"

Scene 4: Floating in the Dead Sea (12:30 PM)

The air is thick with salt, and the sun beats down as the group steps into the Dead Sea, the lowest point on Earth. The water is a surreal shade of blue-green, its surface shimmering like molten glass. Around them, people bob effortlessly, reading newspapers or rubbing the famous black mud onto their skin.

Conan:  (lying on his back, arms spread out like a starfish, eyes closed) "Guys, I think I’ve finally found my perfect sport: zero-effort floating."

Ryan Reynolds:  (kicking his feet up, effortlessly balancing on the water) "You look like a crime scene victim, buddy."

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson:  (grinning as he doesn’t float, his muscles keeping him submerged slightly) "Am I too dense for this? What’s happening?"

Bar Refaeli:  (applying the black mud like a spa professional) "Rub this on your skin, guys. It’s amazing."

Conan:  (eyeing Ryan and Dwayne, suddenly smirking) "Wait… are we just gonna ignore the fact that The Rock is the only person here who’s not floating?!"

Ryan Reynolds:  (mock-serious voice) "It’s science. The Rock isn’t made of normal human matter. He’s 90% muscle and 10% pure stardust."

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson:  (laughing, splashing them both with Dead Sea water) "You punks better watch it."

Zahir watches from the shore, shaking his head in amusement before whispering:

Zahir: "Did you know… beneath this sea, there are ancient ruins lost to time?"

Conan:  (sitting up, wiping salt water from his face) "I KNEW IT. I KNEW YOU COULDN’T LET ME RELAX FOR ONE DAY!"

Scene 5: Qumran Caves – The Dead Sea Scrolls Mystery (3:30 PM)

The group arrives at the Qumran Caves, where the Dead Sea Scrolls, some of the oldest biblical texts in existence, were discovered. The dry desert wind stirs up little spirals of dust as they enter a narrow passage.

Ryan Reynolds:  (whispering dramatically) "Legend says a secret scroll remains hidden, containing… the world’s first knock-knock joke."

Conan:  (raising an eyebrow) "Really?"

Ryan Reynolds: "No. But admit it—you wanted it to be true."

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson:  (examining the cave walls) "It’s crazy to think these writings survived over 2,000 years. Makes you wonder what people will find of our time someday."

Conan:  (stroking his chin, fake-philosophical) "Probably Ryan’s entire Twitter history, and I guarantee it’ll confuse future historians."

Ryan Reynolds:  (nodding sagely) "My finest legacy."

Final Scene: Sunset & Dinner in the Desert (6:30 PM)

The group sits on Persian rugs in a Bedouin-style desert camp, the glow of lanterns flickering as a warm breeze carries the scent of grilled lamb and spiced rice. The distant mountains are tinged with gold as the last rays of sunlight fade into deep indigo.

Conan:  (lifting his glass of mint tea) "To surviving another day of ancient mysteries and Ryan’s bad jokes."

Ryan Reynolds:  (clinking glasses) "To Conan almost falling into a secret tomb… again."

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson:  (grinning, raising his glass) "And to me, the only man who could not float in the Dead Sea."

Bar Refaeli laughs, Zahir gives his knowing smile, and the desert night hums with the sound of distant drums.

Day 3 – Tel Aviv

Featuring: Conan O’Brien, Seth Rogen, Tiffany Haddish, Eyal Shani (Local Celebrity Chef), and a Graffiti Artist Tour Guide

Scene 1: Breakfast at Shuk HaCarmel (9:00 AM) – The Ultimate Israeli Food Market

The scent of fresh-baked challah and sizzling falafel fills the air as the group steps into Shuk HaCarmel, Tel Aviv’s largest and most chaotic open-air market. Vendors shout out deals on juicy pomegranates, freshly baked borekas, and steaming plates of hummus. A mix of locals, tourists, and hipster chefs weave through the crowded stalls like a well-choreographed dance of hunger and curiosity.

Conan O’Brien:  (dodging an old woman aggressively handing out olives) "Okay, we’ve been here for three minutes, and I’ve already been force-fed two dates, a fistful of pistachios, and what I think was an unripe fig. I feel like a baby bird."

Seth Rogen:  (laughing as he stuffs his face with a huge sabich sandwich) "Dude, that’s the rule here. If you’re not chewing something every five seconds, you’re doing it wrong."

Tiffany Haddish:  (waving a pita bread dramatically in the air) "This is the land of MILK AND HONEY, baby! And I’m here for BOTH!"

Eyal Shani (Local Celebrity Chef):  (gesturing passionately at a pile of tomatoes like they are the key to the universe) "Look at these! LOOK at these! These tomatoes, they have a SOUL. They SPEAK to us!"

Conan:  (taking a hesitant bite of a shawarma, nodding slowly) "Okay, I’ll admit it—this is hands-down the best shawarma I’ve ever had. But I feel like if Eyal gets any closer to these tomatoes, we’re going to have to chaperone their wedding."

Scene 2: Exploring Neve Tzedek & Rothschild Boulevard (11:00 AM) – Hipster Paradise

Neve Tzedek, Tel Aviv’s oldest neighborhood, is a dreamy mix of cobblestone streets, colorful murals, and boutique shops selling handmade jewelry and artsy knick-knacks. The group strolls through the streets, sipping iced coffees and dodging cyclists as Tel Aviv’s infamous electric scooters zoom past them at light speed.

Seth Rogen:  (watching a guy on a scooter almost wipe out on a curb) "I love how half this city looks like an Apple commercial, and the other half looks like people trying to survive an Apple commercial."

Tiffany Haddish:  (pointing at a street musician playing an oud) "Yo, this guy is straight-up vibing! Play something romantic, boo!"

The musician obliges, playing a slow, sultry tune. Tiffany sways dramatically before grabbing Conan’s hand and forcing him into an awkward slow dance in the middle of the street.

Conan:  (awkwardly twirling Tiffany while people laugh and take photos) "This is the first time in history a 6’4” Irish guy has ever attempted romance in public."

Scene 3: Graffiti Tour in Florentin (1:30 PM) – Tel Aviv’s Underground Art Scene

The group meets their tour guide, Ziv, a graffiti artist with paint-streaked jeans and a backpack full of spray cans. They walk through Florentin, Tel Aviv’s gritty, artsy district, where colorful murals stretch across entire buildings, telling stories of politics, humor, and Tel Aviv’s rebellious spirit.

Ziv (Tour Guide):  (pointing at a massive mural of a cat in sunglasses smoking a hookah) "This is from the famous Israeli artist Dede. His work is all over Tel Aviv. But the real secret? There’s an entire hidden alley only locals know about—full of artwork that no tourist has ever seen."

Conan:  (raising an eyebrow) "Alright, I’ll bite. But if I end up in another underground tomb, I swear to God…"

They follow Ziv down a hidden side street, ducking through an unmarked doorway. Inside, an alley explodes with color—graffiti covers every surface, even the trash cans. A small, rogue artist is in the middle of tagging a wall, and instead of running, he just nods at them like they’re old friends.

Seth Rogen:  (grinning, shaking a spray can) "Okay, I gotta leave my mark. What should I paint?"

Tiffany Haddish: "You should tag ‘Tiffany was here. Conan owes me $50.’"

Conan sighs deeply.

Conan: "Why do I feel like that’s actually going to happen?"

Scene 4: Sunset at Tel Aviv Beach (5:30 PM) – Chill Vibes & Chaos

The sun is dipping low over the Mediterranean, casting a golden glow on the waves. Beach bars pulse with chill electronic music as bronzed locals sip cocktails and play matkot (paddleball) with inhuman speed. The salty breeze carries the scent of sunscreen, grilled fish, and sea air.

Conan:  (sticking his feet in the sand, sighing dramatically) "This is the best day yet. No tombs, no cursed artifacts, just me, the ocean, and a deep, deep sense of personal failure for never learning how to surf."

Tiffany Haddish:  (laughing, handing Conan a coconut with a straw) "Sip on this and stop thinking so much, white boy."

Seth Rogen:  (watching two guys playing paddleball aggressively) "This game is terrifying. They’re hitting that ball like it personally insulted their families."

Eyal Shani (grabbing a handful of sand, inspecting it deeply like he’s found the meaning of life): "THIS. This is not just sand. This is the history of the sea. You must RESPECT IT!"

Conan:  (staring at Eyal, deadpan) "Okay, I love your energy, but I’m pretty sure that’s just a pile of crushed shells and sunburned dreams."

Scene 5: Nightlife at Tel Aviv Port (8:00 PM) – The Wild Finale

The group heads to Namal Tel Aviv, a vibrant boardwalk filled with bars, live music, and street performers. The night air hums with conversation, the scent of grilled seafood wafting through the crowd. A DJ spins Mediterranean beats, and locals and tourists alike are dancing like it’s the last night on Earth.

Tiffany Haddish:  (dragging Conan to the dance floor) "Come on, Irish boy, show me what you GOT!"

Conan:  (awkwardly doing a stiff shuffle while Seth Rogen dies laughing) "This is me at my most rhythmic."

Seth Rogen:  (watching in horror and delight) "Bro, you’re moving like a malfunctioning windmill."

Eyal Shani (watching two bartenders flambé a cocktail dramatically): "Even the FIRE has a SOUL here!"

Suddenly, a familiar voice booms from the DJ booth.

Ryan Reynolds (from the previous day, suddenly appearing with a microphone): "Ladies and gentlemen… give it up for Conan O’Brien and his ridiculous dance moves!"

The crowd erupts in cheers, and Conan, caught in the moment, fully commits—twisting, spinning, and throwing in a truly unhinged moonwalk. Tiffany, laughing hysterically, joins in, while Seth and Eyal clap along like proud parents.

Final Scene: 2:00 AM – Aftermath at a 24-Hour Falafel Stand

The group, exhausted but exhilarated, sits around a tiny falafel stand, munching on late-night hummus and sipping cold beers.

Conan:  (taking a deep breath, wiping hummus from his chin) "Alright. I’ll admit it. Tel Aviv? You win. This city is unreal."

Tiffany Haddish:  (nodding, mouth full of pita) "Told you. Ain’t nothing like it."

Day 4 – Haifa & Akko

Featuring: Conan O’Brien, Will Ferrell, Emma Stone, Noa Kirel (Local Celebrity), and a Pirate-Themed Historian Tour Guide

Scene 1: The Drive to Haifa – Coffee, Chaos & Roadtrip Shenanigans (8:00 AM)

The morning sun casts a golden hue over the Mediterranean as the group cruises along the coastal highway from Tel Aviv to Haifa. The air is thick with the scent of sea salt and fresh pastries, as Conan grips his coffee like it’s his last lifeline.

Conan O’Brien:  (sleepily, sipping coffee) "Alright, four days into this trip and I’ve realized something—Israel runs on two things: history and extremely strong coffee."

Will Ferrell:  (nodding solemnly, holding a cup of Turkish coffee) "I had one sip of this, and I’m pretty sure I just developed telekinesis."

Emma Stone:  (grinning, taking a bite of a bourekas) "Okay, but this pastry? This is the real miracle of the Holy Land."

Noa Kirel:  (laughing, pointing at Conan’s still-sleepy face) "If you can survive today, I’ll teach you an Israeli dance move. But you have to earn it."

Conan:  (dramatically adjusting his seatbelt) "Challenge accepted. But first, let’s talk about this pirate tour guide I keep hearing about."

The car slows down as they approach Haifa, and waiting for them at the entrance to the Baha’i Gardens is their tour guide—dressed head-to-toe like an 18th-century pirate, complete with a tricorn hat and an absurdly large belt buckle.

Captain Gideon (Tour Guide, self-proclaimed “Pirate Historian”):  (grinning mischievously) "ARRR, welcome to Haifa! Prepare to uncover the hidden treasures of the north!"

Conan:  (rubbing his temples) "Of course. Of course this is happening."

Scene 2: Baha’i Gardens – A Heavenly Oasis (9:00 AM)

The group stands at the top of the Baha’i Gardens, overlooking a perfectly symmetrical cascade of lush greenery and fountains that stretch down towards the blue Mediterranean. A soft breeze carries the scent of jasmine and citrus, and the city of Haifa gleams below like something out of a dream.

Emma Stone:  (gasping, spinning around dramatically) "I feel like I just stepped into a fantasy novel!"

Will Ferrell:  (whispering in awe) "I knew heaven had a front yard."

Captain Gideon:  (pointing dramatically to the garden steps below) "These gardens are considered one of the most beautiful in the world. But few know that beneath this garden lies a secret network of tunnels dating back centuries!"

Conan:  (eyeing him skeptically) "You’re telling me that under this paradise, there’s a labyrinth of historical secrets?"

Captain Gideon:  (nodding, lowering his voice) "Aye, and if ye be brave enough, we might just uncover a lost relic..."

Conan:  (muttering to Will Ferrell) "Why does every guide on this trip sound like they’re setting me up for a Scooby-Doo episode?"

Scene 3: Stella Maris Monastery & Elijah’s Cave (11:00 AM)

Inside the cool stone walls of the Stella Maris Monastery, soft candlelight flickers against centuries-old paintings. The scent of incense lingers as they approach Elijah’s Cave, an ancient pilgrimage site where the prophet Elijah is said to have stayed.

Will Ferrell:  (whispering dramatically) "Okay, this is where I become a prophet. I feel it."

Emma Stone:  (nodding solemnly, placing a hand on his shoulder) "We believe in you, Will. Lead us to greatness."

Noa Kirel:  (laughing) "This is exactly what happens when Americans visit biblical sites."

Conan:  (to Captain Gideon) "Alright, Captain, give us a fun fact before Will tries to start a new religion."

Captain Gideon:  (leaning in, whispering) "They say that when you sit in Elijah’s Cave and make a wish, it has a chance of coming true…"

Everyone immediately rushes to sit down and start making wishes.

Conan:  (closing his eyes, whispering earnestly) "I wish I survive the next part of this trip."

Scene 4: Akko – The Ancient Crusader City (2:00 PM)

The group arrives in Akko, a historic city with massive stone walls, hidden passageways, and an ancient port once ruled by Crusaders and Ottoman sultans. The salty air mixes with the scent of freshly grilled seafood as they walk through the old marketplace.

Emma Stone:  (spinning in a circle, taking it all in) "This place feels like a movie set. It’s incredible."

Will Ferrell:  (adjusting an imaginary crown) "I hereby declare myself King of Akko!"

Suddenly, Captain Gideon rushes ahead and dramatically pulls a hidden lever on a stone wall. A small, ancient-looking door creaks open, revealing a narrow, dimly lit tunnel leading down beneath the city.

Captain Gideon:  (grinning wildly) "Welcome… to the Crusader Tunnels!"

Conan:  (throwing up his hands) "I KNEW IT. I KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN AGAIN!"

Scene 5: Exploring the Underground Crusader Tunnels (2:30 PM)

The air grows cool and damp as the group descends into the Crusader tunnels, a series of underground passageways built centuries ago. Their footsteps echo through the stone chambers, and flickering torchlight casts long shadows on the walls.

Emma Stone:  (whispering) "This is so Indiana Jones. I love it."

Will Ferrell:  (pretending to be a medieval knight, holding an imaginary sword) "FOR GLORY AND HONOR!"

Noa Kirel:  (laughing as she records a video) "My fans are never gonna believe this is real."

Conan:  (to Captain Gideon) "Okay, what’s the catch? Do we have to fight ghost knights or solve a puzzle to get out of here?"

Captain Gideon:  (stroking his beard) "Not quite… but I did hear a rumor that somewhere in these tunnels, there’s a hidden treasure left behind by the Crusaders."

Conan:  (groaning, rubbing his temples) "WHY DO YOU PEOPLE KEEP TEMPTING FATE?!"

Scene 6: Sunset at the Akko Port (5:30 PM) – The Feast of a Lifetime

The group emerges from the tunnels just in time to catch the sun setting over the ancient Akko port. The sky is painted in hues of pink and gold, and fishing boats bob gently in the water. A long wooden table is set up by the sea, covered in platters of fresh seafood, hummus, warm pita, and sparkling wine.

Noa Kirel:  (grinning at Conan) "Okay, you survived. Now you earn your prize."

She stands up and shows him an Israeli dance move, and after some awkward fumbling, Conan almost gets it right—until Will Ferrell jumps in and turns it into a full-blown disco routine.

Conan:  (catching his breath, raising his glass) "To lost treasures, accidental history lessons, and surviving another day of insanity!"

Will Ferrell, Emma Stone, and Noa Kirel: "L’CHAIM!"

Day 5 – Galilee & Nazareth

Featuring: Conan O’Brien, Chris Pratt, Awkwafina, Omer Adam (Local Celebrity), and a Monk-Turned-Comedian Tour Guide

Scene 1: The Road to Nazareth – Spiritual Roadtrip Chaos (8:00 AM)

The drive from Akko to Nazareth winds through rolling hills dotted with olive groves. The air smells fresh, with hints of citrus from roadside fruit stands. Morning mist still lingers over the valleys, creating a dreamy, biblical landscape.

Conan O’Brien:  (stretching in the car, yawning) "Alright, final day. What’s the over/under on how quickly this turns into a religious experience I’m not ready for?"

Chris Pratt:  (grinning) "Dude, we’re literally going to the place where the angel Gabriel told Mary she was having Jesus. Of course it’s going to be spiritual."

Awkwafina:  (sipping coffee, deadpan) "Listen, I didn’t survive Tel Aviv nightlife just to get struck by lightning in Nazareth. I’m keeping my sins to myself."

Omer Adam:  (laughing, turning up some Israeli pop music on the radio) "Come on, this is the last day! We have to go out with a bang. By the way, did anyone tell Conan what happens at the Jordan River?"

Conan:  (narrowing his eyes) "Oh no. What happens at the Jordan River?"

Chris Pratt:  (smirking) "You’ll see."

Scene 2: Basilica of the Annunciation (9:30 AM) – A Holy Landmark

The Basilica of the Annunciation rises majestically against the blue sky, its dome towering over Nazareth’s stone streets. Inside, sunlight streams through stained-glass windows, illuminating murals depicting Mary’s encounter with the angel Gabriel. Pilgrims kneel in silent prayer, the air thick with the scent of burning candles.

Awkwafina:  (whispering, looking around) "Okay, so THIS is the place where Mary got the biggest news drop of all time?"

Chris Pratt:  (nodding, mock-serious) "Yeah, imagine just chilling, living your life, and then boom—an angel tells you you’re about to be the most famous mom in history."

Conan:  (gesturing to the dome) "I don’t know, guys. I feel like if an angel visited me, I’d need at least three other witnesses and a signed document before I believed it."

Omer Adam:  (laughing, pointing to the murals) "Well, this place has a few more testimonials than that."

Monk-Turned-Comedian Tour Guide (Brother Eli):  (appearing out of nowhere in brown robes, clapping his hands together) "Ah, the skeptics! Welcome, welcome! Now tell me—do you believe in miracles, or do I have to drop some divine stand-up on you?"

Scene 3: Lunch & Market Chaos in Old Nazareth (11:30 AM)

The streets of Nazareth’s Old Market are bustling with life—vendors calling out prices, the scent of freshly grilled shawarma and spice-laden pastries filling the air. Small shops sell olive wood carvings, handmade ceramics, and bottles of golden Galilee olive oil.

Awkwafina:  (pointing at a street vendor’s stall) "Yo, I need one of these mini Jesus figurines for my mom."

Conan:  (picking up a carved wooden camel) "How much for this?"

The vendor rattles off a price, but before Conan can answer, Omer Adam steps in and starts bargaining like a seasoned pro. Within seconds, the price drops dramatically.

Conan:  (staring in awe) "Omer, I need you in my life. Can you negotiate my next contract?"

Omer Adam:  (laughing) "Man, you just need to learn the art of haggling. First rule: never look too interested!"

Chris Pratt:  (nodding, taking notes) "This is better than business school."

Scene 4: Capernaum & The Sea of Galilee (2:00 PM) – The Jesus Tour

The group arrives at Capernaum, the town where Jesus is said to have preached and performed miracles. The ruins of an ancient synagogue stand against the bright blue of the Sea of Galilee, which sparkles under the afternoon sun.

Brother Eli (Tour Guide):  (gesturing grandly) "This is where Jesus walked on water! This is where Peter fished! This is where miracles happened!"

Conan:  (nodding slowly) "Okay, but… was it really walking on water? Or was Jesus just really good at spotting hidden stepping stones?"

Chris Pratt:  (laughing, stepping toward the shore) "Well, if anyone can confirm, it’s time for The Conan Water-Walking Challenge!"

Awkwafina:  (grinning, pulling out her phone) "Yup. If you’re gonna fake a miracle, today’s the day."

Conan steps tentatively into the shallow water, arms outstretched dramatically. He takes one step… then another… before dramatically falling face-first into the lake.

Conan:  (sputtering, wiping water from his eyes) "WELL. We’ve confirmed that I cannot walk on water."

Omer Adam:  (laughing, helping him up) "You can float, though. That’s kinda close?"

Scene 5: The Jordan River – Surprise Baptism? (4:00 PM)

The river flows peacefully, its surface shimmering under the afternoon light. Pilgrims dressed in white robes step slowly into the water, their faces serene as they prepare for a symbolic baptism.

Conan:  (looking around suspiciously) "Okay, I don’t like the way you guys are looking at me. What’s the deal?"

Chris Pratt:  (grinning mischievously, rolling up his sleeves) "Well, since we’re here, we thought… why not give you a Conan O’Brien Special Baptism?"

Awkwafina:  (giggling) "Consider it a spiritual reset, dude."

Brother Eli:  (smirking) "It’s a free country. But if you happen to trip and fall into the water, who’s to say it wasn’t divine intervention?"

Before Conan can protest, Chris and Omer grab him by the arms and, with great theatricality, dunk him into the Jordan River.

Conan:  (emerging from the water, gasping, hair slicked back like a wet cat) "I AM REBORN! AND I AM VERY, VERY COLD!"

Awkwafina:  (doubling over in laughter) "Dude, you look like Moses after a bad hair day."

Final Scene: Sunset Dinner Overlooking Galilee (6:30 PM)

The group sits at a restaurant perched on a hill overlooking the Sea of Galilee, the sunset painting the sky in deep purples and oranges. Plates of fresh fish, olives, hummus, and warm pita cover the table.

Conan:  (raising a glass of Israeli wine, sighing contentedly) "Okay. I’ll admit it. This trip? Kind of life-changing."

Chris Pratt:  (clinking glasses) "I mean, you did get baptized by accident, so yeah, I’d say it was eventful."

Awkwafina:  (grinning, taking a bite of baklava) "Dude, I cannot wait to see how you explain this trip to your wife."

Omer Adam:  (raising his glass) "L’chaim, my friends. To history, chaos, and whatever the hell just happened today!"

The End – Or Is It?

As the group clinks glasses and laughs under the Galilee sunset, one last question remains…

Brother Eli (whispering dramatically): "Did I ever tell you about the secret cave under the Sea of Galilee?"

Conan:  (slamming his hands on the table) "NO. NO MORE SECRET CAVES."

FADE TO BLACK.

Final Reflection – Conan’s Insane Israel Adventure

The screen fades in to a quiet, breathtaking sunset over the Sea of Galilee. The water glows with shades of orange and pink, reflecting the last light of the day. Conan O’Brien sits on a rock by the shore, barefoot, his signature red hair a little messier than usual, his eyes scanning the horizon.

Conan O’Brien:  (softly, almost to himself) "You know… I came to Israel expecting a history lesson. What I got was… well, complete and utter chaos—which, honestly, is my preferred way to learn."

Cue a fast-paced montage: Jack Black singing at the Western Wall, Ryan Reynolds pushing Conan into an ancient tunnel, Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson failing to float in the Dead Sea, Will Ferrell sword-fighting an imaginary Crusader, Tiffany Haddish leading a dance party in Tel Aviv, and Chris Pratt baptizing Conan in the Jordan River.

Conan:  (chuckling, shaking his head) "This trip has had everything—religion, adventure, food, dancing, history, and, of course, multiple near-death experiences orchestrated by my so-called ‘friends’."

The Unexpected Lessons

Conan stands up and starts pacing dramatically along the shoreline, hands in his pockets, as if delivering a TED Talk to an invisible audience.

Conan: "But here’s the thing about Israel—it’s not just an old place filled with ruins and religious sites. It’s a living, breathing contradiction in the best way possible. It’s ancient and modern. Sacred and chaotic. Deeply spiritual and absolutely hilarious if you’re traveling with the right maniacs."

*The montage slows down to poignant moments:

• Walking the tunnels under the Western Wall, listening to Ezra whisper ancient secrets.
• Watching the sunrise over Masada, feeling the history seep into his bones.
• Sitting in silence inside the Church of the Holy Sepulchre, witnessing centuries of devotion.
• Floating in the Dead Sea, arms spread wide, realizing for once… he doesn’t have to do a thing.

The True Magic of Travel

Conan turns back to face the camera, a soft smile playing at the edges of his mouth.

Conan: "At the end of the day, history is cool. Religion is fascinating. The food? Life-changing. But what made this trip truly unforgettable was… the people."

*Cue heartwarming clips:

• Gal Gadot laughing as Conan trips over his own feet in Jerusalem.
• Omer Adam negotiating at a market while Conan watches in awe.
• Seth Rogen and Tiffany Haddish howling with laughter as Conan attempts to dance in Tel Aviv.
• Brother Eli, the monk-turned-comedian, delivering the best stand-up set inside a 2,000-year-old synagogue.
• Captain Gideon, the pirate historian, dramatically revealing a ‘hidden treasure’ that turns out to be a lost falafel sandwich.

A Trip Unlike Any Other

Conan:  (leaning back on his elbows, sighing happily) "So yeah, this was not your average travel show. This was a five-day rollercoaster of insanity, and I wouldn’t change a single second of it. Except maybe the part where Ryan Reynolds convinced me to crawl through a tiny cave. That? That I could’ve skipped."

He pulls out a small wooden camel he bought at the market and examines it with a fond smile.

Conan:  (mock-serious) "I don’t know if I found spiritual enlightenment, but I did find a great hummus recipe, a new fear of hidden tunnels, and a new appreciation for the absolute wild ride that is Israel."

The camera slowly zooms out, the peaceful sounds of the water mixing with distant voices from a market nearby. A final montage rolls, showing Conan saying goodbye to each travel companion, one by one.

Conan (voiceover): "So what did we learn?
✅ Israel is beautifully complicated.
✅ The Dead Sea is not Rock-friendly.
✅ Israeli nightlife will break you.
✅ Archaeologists in this country are way too eager to trap me underground.
✅ And most importantly—travel is better when you’re surrounded by lunatics who make every second hilarious."

Final Toast – The Last Supper (Of Falafel)

The final scene fades in: Conan, Jack Black, Tiffany Haddish, Chris Pratt, Omer Adam, and the rest of the gang sitting at a long table under the stars in a courtyard in Jaffa. The air is warm, the table is overflowing with food, and the laughter is loud and unfiltered.

Conan:  (raising his glass) "To Israel. To history. To hummus. And to the fact that somehow, I survived this trip."

Everyone: "L’CHAIM!"

The screen fades to black as the last sounds of laughter and music linger. Then, one last off-screen comment from Ryan Reynolds:

Ryan Reynolds (laughing): "Wait… you guys didn’t tell him about the secret tunnel under this restaurant, right?"

Conan (from the darkness): "OH FOR THE LOVE OF—"

FADE TO BLACK.

THE END.

Short Bios:

Conan O’Brien – Comedian, late-night host, and professional chaos magnet. Embarking on a 5-day adventure through Israel, questioning everything.

Jack Black – Rockstar, actor, and human tornado of energy. Will turn every historical site into an impromptu musical, whether allowed or not.

Ryan Reynolds – Master of sarcasm and expert at making Conan’s life harder. Expect pranks, unexpected history lessons, and endless trolling.

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson – Action hero, motivational force, and surprisingly unable to float in the Dead Sea. Here to add muscle to the madness.

Tiffany Haddish – Unfiltered, hilarious, and the life of every party. Will make Tel Aviv nightlife unforgettable and possibly illegal.

Seth Rogen – Comedian, actor, and proud Jewish Canadian. Here to mix humor with history, spilling hummus on himself in the process.

Will Ferrell – Master of absurdity, convinced he’s a reincarnated Crusader. Will probably knight himself at Akko’s fortress and claim the Holy Land.

Emma Stone – Charming, witty, and somehow the only one acting normal. Balancing the group's insanity with actual appreciation for history.

Chris Pratt – Enthusiastic, adventurous, and responsible for Conan’s unexpected Jordan River baptism. Thinks this is Jurassic Park with fewer dinosaurs.

Awkwafina – Fast-talking, sharp-witted, and here to roast Conan at every stop. Likely to convince him to make questionable life choices.

Omer Adam – Israeli pop sensation, expert haggler, and unofficial market guide. Can bargain down prices—or Conan’s dignity—in seconds.

Gal Gadot – Wonder Woman. That’s it. That’s the bio. Also the only one keeping this trip somewhat respectable.

Eyal Shani – Celebrity chef and philosopher of tomatoes. Can turn street food into an existential experience.

Brother Eli – A monk-turned-comedian with a deep love for history and punchlines. Will test Conan’s ability to handle spiritual stand-up.

Captain Gideon – Pirate historian who insists on speaking in riddles and revealing “hidden treasures” that may or may not exist.

Ziv the Graffiti Artist – Tel Aviv’s street art guru. Thinks Conan should leave his mark—literally—on the city’s walls.

Zahir the Bedouin Guide – Knows every secret oasis in the desert. Delivers cryptic one-liners before leading Conan into yet another mysterious tunnel.

Ezra the Archaeologist – – A passionate historian with an obsession for hidden ruins. Always on the verge of discovering a secret passage—and dragging Conan with him.