Introduction 

What if being awake and having your eyes open are two different things?

In Awareness, Anthony de Mello makes a provocative suggestion: much of human life is lived almost automatically. We chase success because we learned that success makes us valuable. We seek approval because being liked feels like proof that we matter. We acquire things believing the next achievement or possession will finally make us happy. We love deeply, yet sometimes mix love with expectations about how another person should behave.

For this imaginary conversation, we decided to explore de Mello's ideas through comedy. Anthony boards an overnight train with Max Amini, Jerry Seinfeld, Jim Gaffigan, Trevor Noah, and Robin Williams. They wake from literal sleep and travel through a series of strange places reflecting the habits de Mello asks us to notice: success, desire, attachment, approval, identity, and the endless human promise that happiness will arrive later.

The comedians don't simply agree with Anthony. They tease him, challenge him, expose contradictions, and sometimes discover the point before he does. Beneath the laughter sits one persistent question:

How much of what we call "my life" are we actually seeing, and how much are we simply repeating without noticing?

Perhaps waking up begins there.

(Note: This is a fictional, AI-assisted imaginary conversation created for educational, literary, and philosophical exploration. Anthony de Mello, Max Amini, Jerry Seinfeld, Jim Gaffigan, Trevor Noah, and Robin Williams did not participate in this conversation. Their dialogue here is imagined from publicly known aspects of their work, ideas, and comedic or teaching styles. It should not be treated as authentic quotations or statements from any participant.) 

Topic 1: WAKE UP

Are We Actually Awake?

The overnight train moved steadily through the darkness.

Outside the windows, there was almost nothing to see. Occasionally a distant farmhouse appeared for a second, one yellow window floating in the blackness, then vanished behind them.

Inside the carriage, six men were asleep.

Anthony de Mello slept peacefully beside the window, hands folded loosely over his stomach.

Across the aisle, Max Amini had somehow managed to occupy his own seat and half of Jerry Seinfeld's.

Jerry opened one eye.

He looked at Max's elbow.

He looked at the narrow strip of seat still available to him.

He looked back at Max's elbow.

Then he closed his eye again, apparently deciding that consciousness wasn't worth it.

Two rows back, Jim Gaffigan slept surrounded by the archaeological remains of several snacks.

Trevor Noah rested against the window.

Robin Williams was snoring.

Then, strangely, Robin's snoring changed voices.

A deep snore.

A high-pitched snore.

A tiny squeak.

Then something resembling an elderly British aristocrat choking politely.

Jerry's eyes opened again.

Jerry Seinfeld: Even unconscious, he's doing characters.

Suddenly the train's speakers crackled.

A woman's voice filled the carriage.

Announcement: Ladies and gentlemen, wake up. We will be arriving shortly.

Max shot upright.

Max Amini: What? Where are we?

Anthony slowly opened his eyes.

Anthony de Mello: That's a very good question.

Max: No, seriously. Where are we?

Anthony smiled.

Anthony: That's an even better question.

Jerry sat up.

Jerry: I don't think this is the moment for philosophy. There's a normal answer to this question. Cleveland. Chicago. Philadelphia. Somewhere.

Jim opened his eyes.

Jim Gaffigan: Is breakfast included?

Anthony looked at him.

Anthony: You've been conscious for four seconds.

Jim: I'm using them wisely.

Robin suddenly sprang upright.

Robin Williams, as train conductor: GOOD MORNING, PASSENGERS! Congratulations! You have been alive for decades and have absolutely no idea where you're going!

He immediately switched to the voice of a frightened passenger.

Robin: "But I have a retirement account!"

Then a soothing corporate voice.

Robin: "Wonderful, sir. That will make being lost considerably more comfortable."

Trevor started laughing.

Trevor Noah: This is actually a strange situation. We all got on this train, went to sleep, and now none of us knows where we are.

Jerry: I know where I am. I'm on a train with five people who refuse to answer simple questions.

Anthony laughed.

The train continued through the darkness.

For a few seconds nobody spoke.

Then Anthony looked around.

Anthony: Suppose the announcement hadn't come.

Max: We'd still be sleeping.

Anthony: Exactly.

Jerry: Eventually we'd wake up.

Anthony: Would we?

Jerry looked at him.

Jerry: I knew this was coming.

Anthony: Your eyes would open. You would sit up. You would eat breakfast. You would look at your phone. You would go to work. You would talk to people. You would make decisions. But would you be awake?

Robin leaned forward.

Robin, dramatically: Ohhhhhh.

Jim: I liked this conversation better when we were discussing breakfast.

Anthony: Jim, you are helping me more than you realize.

Jim: That's usually how I contribute.

They laughed.

Anthony looked out the window.

Anthony: Most people think being awake means having their eyes open. I mean something else. We go through life reacting automatically. Someone praises us, we feel wonderful. Someone criticizes us, we feel miserable. We get what we want, we're happy. We lose it, we're unhappy. Someone approves of us, we're somebody. Someone rejects us, suddenly we're nobody.

Max: So you're saying we're programmed.

Anthony: I'm asking whether we are.

Jerry leaned forward.

Jerry: Well, obviously we're programmed. Look at elevators.

Everyone turned toward him.

Jerry: Nobody has ever explained elevator behavior. You enter an elevator with six strangers, everybody immediately turns around and faces the door.

Trevor laughed.

Jerry: Why?

Nobody answered.

Jerry: Why can't we face each other?

Robin instantly stood and turned toward Jerry, his face six inches away.

Robin: Good morning.

Jerry recoiled.

Jerry: That's why.

The carriage erupted.

Jerry: See? Nobody taught us this. There's no elevator school. Nobody sits a child down and says, "Now, Billy, when entering the elevator, never acknowledge that other human beings exist."

Trevor: But somebody must have taught us indirectly.

Jerry: Everybody teaches everybody.

Anthony: Exactly.

Anthony smiled.

Anthony: That's how much of our programming works. Nobody needs to formally teach it. You observe. You imitate. You are rewarded. You are corrected. Eventually you forget that you learned it.

Max nodded.

Max: Oh, family is full of this.

He straightened himself and immediately became an anxious parent.

Max, as parent: "I don't care what career you choose. We just want you to be happy."

He paused.

Max, still as parent: "Doctor is happy."

Everyone laughed.

Max: "Engineer, very happy."

He leaned closer.

Max: "Comedian..."

He grimaced.

Max: "...we'll pray."

Anthony laughed loudly.

Max: Parents don't always say, "You must become this." Sometimes it's much more sophisticated.

He switched voices again.

Max: "Do whatever you want."

Pause.

Max: "Your cousin became a surgeon."

Trevor burst out laughing.

Max: That's it! Nothing else. They just leave the surgeon sitting there.

Jim: The cousin is one of the most dangerous people in the world.

Max: Every family has one.

Robin, as proud mother: "Your cousin graduated Harvard."

He switched to the defeated child.

Robin: "I'm seven."

Robin, as mother: "Exactly. You have time."

The laughter became louder.

Anthony watched them, smiling.

Then he asked quietly:

Anthony: What does the seven-year-old learn?

The laughter softened.

Max answered first.

Max: That achievement matters.

Anthony: More than that.

Trevor considered it.

Trevor: That achievement changes how much you're worth.

Anthony pointed at him.

Anthony: There.

Silence for a moment.

Anthony: Nobody necessarily says, "Your human value depends on achievement." But the child watches what produces applause.

Good grades.

Praise.

Winning.

Beauty.

Money.

Popularity.

Obedience.

Being impressive.

The child begins constructing a self.

Robin, softly, as a child: Am I good now?

Anthony looked at him.

Robin's face had completely changed.

Robin, as child: How about now?

He switched into a teacher.

Robin: A-plus!

Back to the child.

Robin: Now?

A father.

Robin: I'm proud of you.

The child again.

Robin: Now?

A crowd roaring.

Then Robin became himself again.

Robin: And eventually the kid doesn't even need anybody else.

He tapped his forehead.

Robin: He installs the whole audience in here.

Anthony's expression brightened.

Anthony: Exactly.

Jerry: That's terrible software.

Trevor: And you can't uninstall it.

Anthony: Ah. Can you?

Trevor looked at him.

Anthony smiled.

Anthony: That's what we're here to find out.

The train began slowing slightly.

Outside, the darkness was turning dark blue.

Trevor: Culture does this too. What's considered success changes depending on where you grow up.

Anthony: Which is fascinating.

Trevor: In one place, living with your parents at twenty-five means you're responsible and connected to family. Somewhere else, people say, "You're twenty-five and you still live with your mother?"

Max jumped in.

Max: And the mother says, "Why would you leave?"

He became the mother.

Max: "You have food here!"

Then the son.

Max: "Mom, I'm thirty-two."

Mother again.

Max: "Exactly. You're too young."

Everyone laughed.

Trevor: That's the point. You cross a border and suddenly something you thought was obviously normal becomes strange.

Anthony: Which should make us suspicious of the word "obvious."

Jerry nodded.

Jerry: Almost everything is obvious until you go somewhere people don't do it.

Anthony: Yes.

Jerry: Tipping.

Trevor: There you go.

Jerry: In America, you finish dinner and suddenly you're taking a mathematics exam.

Jim nodded solemnly.

Jerry: "How was the service? Eighteen percent? Twenty percent? Twenty-two percent? Would you like to rotate the screen?"

Robin thrust an imaginary tablet toward Anthony.

Robin, cheerful cashier: It's just going to ask you a little question.

Anthony stared at the imaginary screen.

Robin: Thirty percent. Forty percent. Fifty percent. Kidney.

Jim almost choked laughing.

Jerry: And the employee is standing right there watching you!

Trevor: That's social conditioning happening in real time.

Jerry: Nobody wants to press "No Tip" while another human being is looking into their soul.

Anthony: Why?

Jerry paused.

Jerry: Because...

He looked around.

Jerry: Huh.

Anthony waited.

Jerry: Because I don't want them to think I'm cheap.

Anthony smiled.

Jerry: Don't smile like that.

Everyone laughed.

Jerry: I know what you're doing.

Anthony: I haven't done anything.

Jerry: That's the annoying part.

Anthony leaned back.

Anthony: Jerry just gave us something valuable.

He doesn't want a stranger he'll probably never see again to think he's cheap.

Why?

Jim: Because we care what people think.

Anthony: Why?

Max: Because we want approval.

Anthony: Why?

A pause.

Robin suddenly became an infant.

Robin: WAAAAAH!

Everyone laughed.

Then Robin became a parent.

Robin: Good boy! Good boy!

Baby again, delighted.

Then schoolchild.

Robin: Did I do good?

Teenager.

Robin: Do they like me?

Young adult.

Robin: Did I get the job?

Middle-aged executive.

Robin: Did I get promoted?

Older man.

Robin: Do my children respect me?

He stopped.

Robin: Same question. Different costumes.

Nobody laughed immediately.

Anthony looked at Robin with unmistakable appreciation.

Anthony: Yes.

Jim broke the silence.

Jim: That's disturbingly good.

Robin smiled.

Robin: I occasionally wake up.

Anthony laughed.

The train rolled on.

A few minutes later, Jim reached into his bag and pulled out a candy bar.

Jerry stared.

Jerry: You brought food?

Jim: Of course.

Jerry: You asked if breakfast was included.

Jim: I wanted to know whether I needed to eat my emergency food.

Trevor: Candy is emergency food?

Jim: You don't know what kind of morning this is going to become.

Anthony watched Jim unwrap it.

Anthony: May I ask you something?

Jim: You're going to ruin this candy bar, aren't you?

Anthony: Why do you want it?

Jim stared at him.

Jim: Because it's a candy bar.

Anthony: But why do you want it?

Jim: Have you seen one before?

Max laughed.

Anthony: I'm serious.

Jim considered.

Jim: It'll taste good.

Anthony: Excellent. Eat it.

Jim looked suspicious.

Jim: That's it?

Anthony: That's it.

Jim took a bite.

Anthony: Enjoy it completely.

Jim chewed.

Anthony: Taste it.

Jim slowed down.

Anthony: Don't think about the next bite.

Jim stopped chewing.

Jim: Now you've definitely ruined it.

Everyone laughed.

Anthony: Notice what just happened. Usually we aren't even present for pleasure. We're already reaching for the next bite while eating this one.

Jim looked at the candy bar.

Then took another bite, deliberately.

Jim: That's annoyingly true.

Anthony: Awareness isn't necessarily giving up the candy bar.

Jim: I'm beginning to like you again.

Anthony: It's actually tasting it.

That landed differently.

Trevor looked out the window.

Trevor: So being asleep isn't necessarily doing bad things.

Anthony: Precisely.

Trevor: It's doing things without seeing what you're doing.

Anthony: Yes.

Max: Then somebody could be extremely successful and completely asleep.

Anthony: Certainly.

Jerry: Somebody could be unsuccessful and completely asleep.

Anthony: Certainly.

Jim: Somebody could be eating a candy bar and...

Anthony looked at him.

Jim: Fine. I'm awake.

Anthony: Don't be too certain.

Jim sighed.

The announcement crackled again.

Announcement: We will shortly be arriving at our next station.

Everyone looked through the windows.

Far ahead, lights appeared.

Max: Here's what I don't understand. If we're all programmed, how do you know you're programmed?

Anthony nodded.

Anthony: That's the real question.

Max: If everybody in your family believes the same thing, everybody in your community believes it, everybody at school believes it, everybody at church believes it, everybody on television believes it, how would you ever know?

Trevor: Sometimes you need to leave.

Max: Meaning?

Trevor: Not necessarily physically. But encountering another culture can do it. Suddenly you discover that something you've treated as natural your entire life isn't natural at all. It's cultural.

Jerry: Comedy does that too.

Anthony turned to him.

Jerry: That's basically the whole job.

Everybody listened.

Jerry: You take something everybody does every day and look at it long enough until it becomes strange.

Anthony smiled.

Jerry: You know, brushing your teeth is strange.

Jim: Here we go.

Jerry: Every morning we put chemicals on a tiny brush, shove it into our mouths, bare our teeth at ourselves in a mirror and scrub bones sticking out of our gums.

Robin immediately began violently brushing imaginary teeth while staring crazily into an imaginary mirror.

Robin: MUST CLEAN THE SKELETON!

Everyone lost it.

Even Anthony bent forward laughing.

Jerry pointed at Robin.

Jerry: Exactly! That's what we're doing!

Max was wiping tears from his eyes.

Anthony eventually caught his breath.

Anthony: Jerry, you just described awareness.

Jerry stopped.

Jerry: Tooth brushing?

Anthony: Seeing something familiar as though you're seeing it for the first time.

Jerry thought about that.

Anthony: We rarely see reality directly. We see our labels.

Tree.

Wife.

Husband.

Money.

Success.

Failure.

Christian.

Muslim.

American.

Indian.

Rich.

Poor.

Good.

Bad.

We name something and then assume we know it.

Trevor: And the label starts replacing the thing.

Anthony: Exactly.

He pointed outside.

Anthony: Look.

Everyone turned.

The first edge of sunrise had appeared.

For several seconds nobody spoke.

Anthony asked:

Anthony: What do you see?

Jim: Sunrise.

Anthony nodded.

Jerry: Here we go again.

Anthony: "Sunrise" is the word.

Silence.

Anthony: What do you actually see?

They looked again.

The horizon was becoming orange.

Dark fields rushed past.

A thin layer of mist hovered above them.

Nobody answered.

For once, Robin had no voice.

Anthony didn't explain.

They simply watched.

Thirty seconds passed.

Then Jerry spoke quietly.

Jerry: That's actually beautiful.

Anthony looked at him.

Anthony: It was beautiful before you noticed.

Jerry glanced over.

Anthony smiled.

The train began slowing.

Buildings appeared.

A platform came into view.

Above it stood an enormous illuminated sign:

SUCCESS & HAPPINESS

Underneath, in smaller letters:

EVERYTHING YOU NEED IS AVAILABLE INSIDE.

Jim stood immediately.

Jim: Well, that's convenient.

Max laughed.

Trevor: You believe advertising very quickly.

Jim: I'm open-minded.

They gathered their things.

Jerry looked at Anthony.

Jerry: So let me see if I understand this.

Anthony waited.

Jerry: We woke up.

Anthony: Physically.

Jerry: Then discovered we're asleep.

Anthony: Perhaps.

Jerry: And now we're getting off the train at a place promising happiness.

Anthony: Yes.

Jerry stared through the window at the enormous glowing sign.

Jerry: This feels like a trap.

Anthony smiled.

Anthony: Good.

Jerry: Good?

Anthony: You're noticing.

The doors opened.

Crowds streamed toward a gigantic building blazing with advertisements.

Max stepped onto the platform.

Robin followed.

Trevor stopped beside Anthony.

Trevor: Anthony, one question.

Anthony: Yes?

Trevor: How do you know when you're finally awake?

Anthony looked at the sunrise.

Then at the crowds rushing past them.

Then back at Trevor.

Anthony: Perhaps the moment you think you've finally arrived...

He smiled.

Anthony: ...is a very good time to look again.

Jim called from farther down the platform.

Jim: THEY HAVE A FOOD COURT!

Anthony laughed.

The six men followed him into the crowd.

Topic 2: "I'LL BE HAPPY WHEN..."

The Great Human Shopping Trip

The station called SUCCESS & HAPPINESS turned out to be attached to the largest shopping mall any of them had ever seen.

They entered through enormous glass doors.

A fifty-foot digital screen immediately greeted them:

WELCOME!

The message disappeared.

A beautiful car replaced it.

YOU'VE EARNED THIS.

Another screen appeared.

A watch.

SHOW THEM YOU'VE ARRIVED.

Then a tropical beach.

ESCAPE YOUR LIFE.

Then a luxury apartment.

LIVE THE LIFE YOU DESERVE.

Then an impossibly fit man.

BECOME YOUR BEST SELF.

Then a smiling family eating breakfast in a spotless white kitchen.

HAPPINESS STARTS AT HOME.

Jerry stopped walking.

Jerry Seinfeld: Who has a kitchen like that?

Max looked at the screen.

Max Amini: Nobody with children.

Jim Gaffigan: Nobody who eats.

Trevor Noah: Nobody who lives.

Robin Williams stared upward, hypnotized.

Robin Williams, as advertisement: "Buy our refrigerator and your children will finally respect you!"

He switched to an emotional father.

Robin: "They haven't spoken to me since Thanksgiving."

Back to the advertisement.

Robin: "Stainless steel."

The others laughed.

Robin: "Ice dispenser."

The father gasped.

Robin: "Daddy's coming home!"

Anthony de Mello laughed with them.

They continued walking.

The mall seemed endless.

Jewelry.

Clothing.

Electronics.

Cars.

Cosmetics.

Restaurants.

Furniture.

Fitness centers.

Travel agencies.

Luxury goods.

Everywhere they looked, somebody was offering an improved future.

Max stopped.

Max: You know what's interesting?

Anthony de Mello: What?

Max: Nobody's selling anything for today.

Anthony smiled.

Max: Everything is, "Buy this and then..."

Trevor nodded.

Trevor: That's true.

Max: "Get this body and then..."

"Buy this house and then..."

"Make this much money and then..."

"Meet this person and then..."

Anthony looked around.

Anthony: Perhaps that's the most successful product ever invented.

Jerry: What's that?

Anthony: "Then."

Jerry stared at him.

Jerry: They're selling "then"?

Anthony: Everywhere.

Jim pointed across the concourse.

Jim: They're selling cinnamon rolls over there.

Anthony: Jim.

Jim: I'm just saying some businesses are more transparent.

They laughed.

Jim began drifting sideways.

Anthony gently caught his sleeve.

Anthony: Stay with us.

Jim: I'm physically with you. Spiritually, I'm over there.

They passed an electronics store.

A crowd surrounded the newest phone.

Robin picked up the display model.

Robin, excited: Look at this! The new XZ-9000!

Jerry: What's different?

Robin examined it.

Robin: It's slightly more rectangular.

Trevor: Revolutionary.

Robin became a salesperson.

Robin: "We've moved the button."

He became an astonished customer.

Robin: "WHERE?"

Salesman again.

Robin: "Three millimeters."

Customer:

Robin: "Take my money!"

Max laughed.

Jerry: This actually happens every year. You have a perfectly good phone. Then they announce the new phone.

He mimed looking at his old phone.

Jerry: Suddenly this thing you've loved for eleven months disgusts you.

Jim nodded.

Jerry: Yesterday: "This camera is incredible."

Today: "Look at this garbage."

Trevor laughed.

Jerry: Nothing happened to the phone!

Anthony stopped.

Anthony: Exactly.

The others looked at him.

Anthony: Nothing happened to the phone.

Something happened in the mind.

A moment ago:

"I have what I want."

Then you see something else.

Now:

"What I have isn't enough."

Max nodded slowly.

Max: So the suffering wasn't in the phone.

Anthony: Where was it?

Max: In the comparison.

Anthony: Very often.

Jerry looked down at the imaginary old phone in his hand.

Jerry: This is a terrible day for capitalism.

Anthony laughed.

Anthony: Buy whatever phone you like.

Jerry: Oh.

Anthony: I'm not against phones.

Jim: Thank God.

Anthony: Or cinnamon rolls.

Jim placed his hand over his heart.

Jim: I knew there was wisdom in this man.

Anthony: I'm interested in what happens inside you when you believe:

"I cannot be happy until I have it."

Jim lowered his hand.

Jim: There it is.

They continued walking.

A gigantic sign hung over the central atrium:

YOU DESERVE MORE.

Trevor stopped beneath it.

Trevor: More than what?

Everyone looked up.

Trevor: That's actually a brilliant sentence.

It doesn't tell you what you deserve more than.

Jerry: More than whatever you currently have.

Trevor: Exactly.

Anthony nodded.

Anthony: Which means?

Max answered.

Max: Whatever I have isn't enough.

Anthony smiled.

Max: You're doing that smile again.

Anthony: What smile?

Max: The smile where you already know we're about to discover something unpleasant about ourselves.

Robin leaned toward Max.

Robin, whispering: Spiritual ambush.

Anthony burst out laughing.

They entered the mall's central atrium.

A gleaming sports car sat beneath spotlights.

A young salesman approached them.

Salesman: Gentlemen, would anyone like to experience the future?

Jerry looked at the car.

Jerry: Does it travel through time?

Salesman: No.

Jerry: Then let's calm down.

The salesman walked away.

Max circled the car.

Max: It's beautiful.

Anthony: Do you want it?

Max: Sure.

Anthony: Why?

Max: Because it's beautiful.

Anthony: Good.

Max waited.

Max: That's it?

Anthony: Why shouldn't you enjoy something beautiful?

Max: I thought you were going to tell me I'm spiritually asleep.

Anthony: Why?

Max: I want an expensive car.

Anthony: There's nothing necessarily wrong with wanting an expensive car.

Max looked surprised.

Anthony pointed toward it.

Anthony: The question isn't whether you own the car.

He tapped Max lightly on the chest.

Anthony: The question is whether the car owns something here.

Jerry nodded.

Jerry: That's good.

Jim: I don't understand.

Jerry: Of course you do. It's like food.

Jim became defensive.

Jim: Why does everything eventually become about me?

Jerry: You made food your representative.

Trevor laughed.

Anthony turned to Max.

Anthony: Suppose you buy it.

Max: Okay.

Anthony: You're delighted.

Max: Yes.

Anthony: Six months later?

Max shrugged.

Max: It's my car.

Anthony nodded.

Anthony: That's one of the strangest things human beings do.

They dream about something.

They work for it.

They finally get it.

Then...

They stop seeing it.

Jerry looked back at the car.

Jerry: That's true.

Anthony: Remember something you desperately wanted ten years ago.

The thing you thought would change your life.

Perhaps you have it now.

Do you even notice it?

Silence.

Trevor looked thoughtful.

Trevor: That's uncomfortable.

Anthony: Why?

Trevor: Because I can think of several things.

Max: Me too.

Jim: I wanted a television in my bedroom when I was a kid.

Jerry: And?

Jim: I have one.

Anthony: How often do you wake up and say, "I cannot believe I have a television in my bedroom"?

Jim laughed.

Jim: Never.

Anthony: Yet there was probably a time when that would have seemed incredible.

Jim: Yeah.

Anthony looked around the enormous mall.

Anthony: That's the tragedy.

We receive things yesterday's version of ourselves would have considered miracles.

Then we stop noticing them.

Nobody joked.

Anthony pointed back toward the station.

Anthony: This morning you watched the sunrise.

Did you buy it?

Jerry: Here we go.

Anthony: Did you earn it?

Max: No.

Anthony: Did you achieve it?

Trevor: No.

Anthony: Yet for thirty seconds, everyone became quiet.

Jim looked at him.

Jim: Including me.

Anthony: Including you.

Jim smiled.

They moved deeper into the mall.

A sign appeared:

THE SUCCESS EXPERIENCE

Robin immediately entered.

The others followed.

Inside was an exhibition of progressively larger offices.

The first:

ASSISTANT MANAGER

The next:

MANAGER

Then:

SENIOR MANAGER

VICE PRESIDENT

SENIOR VICE PRESIDENT

EXECUTIVE VICE PRESIDENT

PRESIDENT

CEO

At the end stood a giant empty chair beneath the words:

YOU MADE IT.

Jerry stared at it.

Jerry: That's it?

Trevor: Apparently.

Jerry: You spend forty years moving from chair to chair?

Max sat in the CEO chair.

Max: I feel important.

Robin immediately became an assistant.

Robin: Sir, congratulations.

Max: Thank you.

Robin: The board wants to replace you.

Max stood up.

Max: That was fast.

Robin became a therapist.

Robin: "How did that make you feel?"

Then a motivational speaker.

Robin: "Failure is an opportunity!"

Then Max's mother.

Robin: "Your cousin is still a surgeon."

Max collapsed laughing.

Anthony sat in the smallest chair.

Anthony: What's wrong with wanting to become CEO?

Jerry looked at him.

Jerry: You're asking us?

Anthony: Yes.

Trevor: Nothing.

Anthony: I agree.

Max looked surprised.

Anthony: Become CEO.

Build a company.

Become wealthy.

Create something wonderful.

Win an award.

Anthony pointed at the enormous chair.

Anthony: But if you need that chair to prove that you are somebody...

He paused.

Anthony: ...you've given a chair extraordinary authority over your life.

Jerry stared at the chair.

Jerry: It's not even a very good chair.

Max remained thoughtful.

Max: But ambition isn't necessarily bad.

Anthony: Of course not.

Max: Suppose someone grew up poor. They work extremely hard. They want financial security. They want a beautiful home. They want their children to have opportunities they didn't have.

Anthony: Wonderful.

Max: That's not sleep.

Anthony: Not necessarily.

Max: Then where does it become attachment?

Anthony thought for a moment.

Anthony: Suppose that person says:

"I would prefer to become wealthy."

Fine.

Now suppose he says:

"I must become wealthy or my life has failed."

Something changed.

Trevor nodded.

Anthony: Preference became psychological necessity.

Jerry: So you can pursue something intensely without making your existence depend on getting it.

Anthony: Yes.

Max: That's harder than it sounds.

Anthony: Very much harder.

Jim: Finally, something honest from the enlightenment department.

Anthony laughed.

They left the exhibit.

A huge digital scoreboard appeared overhead.

YOUR LIFE SCORE

Below it were categories:

INCOME

HOUSE

CAREER

BODY

POPULARITY

RELATIONSHIP

FOLLOWERS

CHILDREN'S ACHIEVEMENTS

Robin stared at it.

Robin: Oh no.

He suddenly became a game-show host.

Robin: WELCOME TO "IS YOUR LIFE BETTER THAN YOUR NEIGHBOR'S?"

Imaginary applause.

Robin: Contestant number one! You earn $200,000!

He made a buzzer sound.

Robin: Unfortunately, your brother-in-law earns $350,000!

Audience:

Robin: AWWWWWWW!

Max laughed.

Robin: Contestant number two! Your daughter graduated college!

Applause.

Robin: Unfortunately, Linda's daughter graduated HARVARD!

Buzzer.

Robin: Contestant number three! You're happily married!

Huge applause.

Robin paused dramatically.

Robin: Unfortunately, nobody on Instagram knows!

BUZZER.

Everyone was laughing.

Anthony was laughing hardest.

Robin suddenly stopped.

He looked at the imaginary scoreboard.

Robin: That's insane.

Anthony's laughter faded.

Robin: But we do it.

Trevor: Constantly.

Robin: We take something that made us happy...

He pointed at an imaginary neighboring score.

Robin: ...then somebody else gets more, and suddenly ours gets smaller.

Anthony nodded.

Anthony: Comparison can make abundance feel like poverty.

That sentence quieted them.

They reached the food court.

Jim stopped.

Everyone continued.

Jim didn't.

Max turned.

Max: Jim.

Jim: Go ahead.

Jerry: We're staying together.

Jim: Then I have wonderful news.

They sat around a table.

Jim returned carrying an impressive quantity of food.

Anthony looked at it.

Anthony: Are you hungry?

Jim: That's a deeply personal question.

Anthony: I'm curious.

Jim considered.

Jim: A little.

Anthony: Then why all this?

Jim: Because I didn't know what I wanted.

Anthony smiled.

Jim: Stop smiling.

Anthony: You didn't know what you wanted, so you got everything?

Jim: Yes.

Jerry: That's basically the mall's business model.

Jim looked around.

Jim: Oh.

Trevor laughed.

Jim: I walked directly into that one.

Anthony picked up a french fry.

Anthony: May I?

Jim: Now you're talking.

Anthony ate it.

Jim stared at him.

Jim: You're eating fries?

Anthony: Why wouldn't I?

Jim: I don't know. I expected enlightened people to eat seeds.

Anthony laughed.

Anthony: Awareness isn't punishment.

He took another fry.

Anthony: Enjoying something isn't the problem.

Believing you require it for happiness is different.

Jim took a fry.

Jim: So how do I know the difference?

Anthony looked at him.

Anthony: Imagine it's taken away.

Jim froze.

He slowly pulled the fries closer.

Everyone laughed.

Anthony: There.

Jim: That's not fair.

Anthony: That's useful.

Jim: It's lunch.

Trevor leaned back.

Trevor: I want to challenge this.

Anthony nodded.

Trevor: Some desires really matter.

Security matters.

Food matters.

Shelter matters.

Healthcare matters.

Opportunity matters.

You can't tell someone struggling to survive that happiness is simply a matter of dropping attachment.

Anthony became serious.

Anthony: I agree.

Everyone listened.

Anthony: If someone is hungry, feed them.

If someone is being harmed, help them.

If something unjust can be changed, work to change it.

Awareness isn't pretending circumstances don't matter.

Trevor nodded.

Anthony: I'm talking about something else.

A person can genuinely need food.

But another person with enough food for ten lifetimes can still experience psychological starvation.

A person may need shelter.

Another may own five houses and still believe the sixth will finally make him secure.

Max: So you're separating real needs from the mind's endless promise that one more thing will complete us.

Anthony: Yes.

Jerry looked around.

Jerry: The mall is basically one enormous building saying, "You're almost there."

Anthony turned toward him.

Anthony: Exactly.

Jerry: That's disturbing.

Jim: Especially since we're sitting in it.

A young couple walked past carrying several shopping bags.

They looked delighted.

Anthony watched them.

Anthony: Look at them.

Max: They seem happy.

Anthony: Wonderful.

Jerry: You're not going to ruin it?

Anthony: Why would I?

Jerry: You've been very consistent.

Anthony laughed.

Anthony: Enjoy the bag.

Enjoy the car.

Enjoy the meal.

Enjoy success.

Enjoy applause.

Enjoy love.

Enjoy money.

Enjoy the beautiful house.

His voice softened.

Anthony: But don't tell yourself:

"Without this, I cannot be happy."

Because the moment you do...

Trevor completed the thought.

Trevor: Fear enters.

Anthony looked at him.

Anthony: Yes.

Max: Because now you can lose it.

Anthony: Yes.

Jerry: And if somebody else has more...

Anthony: Comparison.

Jim: And if the new version comes out...

Anthony: Dissatisfaction.

Robin suddenly became Desire again.

Robin, whispering: Just one more.

Everyone looked at him.

Robin: One more promotion.

One more million.

One more person who loves you.

One more achievement.

One more purchase.

One more compliment.

One more follower.

Then...

He switched to a soothing voice.

Robin: "Then you can relax."

Silence.

Robin changed voices again.

Older now.

Tired.

Robin: "Almost."

Nobody laughed.

Anthony looked around the table.

Anthony: That's the sleep.

A bell rang throughout the mall.

The public-address system came alive.

Announcement: Attention shoppers. The SUCCESS & HAPPINESS center will be closing shortly.

Jerry looked at his watch.

Jerry: Happiness closes?

Jim: Apparently at nine.

Max: What do we do now?

The announcement continued.

Announcement: Passengers continuing their journey should return to the platform. The next train departs for LOVE in ten minutes.

Max stood.

Max: Love.

Jerry: That sounds dangerous.

Jim: Is there food?

Trevor: It's a wedding. There's always food.

Jim immediately began packing.

Anthony stood.

As they walked away, Max glanced back at the giant sign:

YOU DESERVE MORE.

He stopped.

Anthony noticed.

Max: Anthony?

Anthony: Yes?

Max: How do you know when you have enough?

Anthony looked at him for several seconds.

Then he pointed gently at Max.

Anthony: Perhaps that's the wrong question.

Max: What's the right one?

Anthony smiled.

Anthony: Who is the person who keeps saying you don't?

Max looked back at the glowing sign.

They continued walking.

At the mall exit, Jerry stopped in front of a display window.

The newest phone gleamed beneath a spotlight.

He stared at it.

Anthony stopped beside him.

Anthony: Beautiful?

Jerry: Very.

Anthony: Want it?

Jerry considered.

Jerry: A little.

Anthony smiled.

Jerry: Don't worry.

He looked at the phone once more.

Jerry: I'm watching the guy who wants it.

Anthony laughed.

They stepped outside.

Across the platform, a new sign glowed:

NEXT STOP: LOVE

Underneath it, in elegant lettering:

FOREVER. NO CONDITIONS.

Jerry read it twice.

Jerry: Oh, there are definitely conditions.

The train doors opened.

Topic 3: "I LOVE YOU. NOW PLEASE CHANGE."

When Love Becomes Attachment

The train doors opened to music.

Not station music.

Wedding music.

Jerry Seinfeld stepped onto the platform and stopped.

Jerry Seinfeld: Of course.

Max Amini came up behind him.

Max Amini: What?

Jerry pointed.

At the far end of the station, an enormous white arch had been decorated with flowers.

Beyond it stood hundreds of wedding guests.

Tables covered in white linen.

A dance floor.

A band.

Champagne.

Children running between chairs.

Photographers everywhere.

A bride and groom posed beneath a sign:

FOREVER

Jim Gaffigan stepped off the train.

Jim Gaffigan: Oh, good. Catering.

Trevor Noah looked at him.

Trevor Noah: Is there any human experience you don't interpret through food?

Jim: Funerals.

A beat.

Jim: Sometimes.

Robin Williams bounded onto the platform.

Robin Williams, as wedding announcer: Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the joining of two independent human beings who will now spend fifty years asking, "What's wrong?"

Max laughed.

Anthony de Mello stepped off last.

He looked at the wedding.

Then at the sign.

Anthony de Mello: Love.

Jerry glanced at him.

Jerry: Don't say it like that.

Anthony: Like what?

Jerry: Like you're about to ruin weddings.

Anthony laughed.

Anthony: I love weddings.

Jerry: That's exactly what somebody says before ruining weddings.

They entered the reception.

A photographer rushed past.

Photographer: Everybody smile!

The bride smiled.

The groom smiled.

The parents smiled.

Everyone froze.

Click.

Instantly the smiles disappeared.

Jerry watched.

Jerry: That's fascinating.

Trevor: What?

Jerry: Happiness apparently has a shutter speed.

Robin became the photographer.

Robin: "Wonderful! Now everybody look spontaneous!"

He rearranged imaginary people.

Robin: "You, move left. Grandma, laugh naturally. Bride, tilt your head. Groom, pretend this is the happiest day of your life."

He snapped an imaginary photograph.

Robin: "Perfect! Completely authentic!"

Anthony laughed.

Max was watching another scene.

A mother was fixing her adult son's tie.

The son gently moved her hands away.

She immediately put them back.

Max smiled.

Max: There it is.

Anthony: What?

Max slipped instantly into character.

Max, as mother: "I'm not controlling you."

He adjusted an imaginary tie.

Max: "I'm helping you."

He changed to the son.

Max: "Mom, I'm forty."

Mother:

Max: "Exactly. And after forty years, you still don't know how to do this."

Jim laughed.

Max continued.

Max, as mother: "I don't tell you what to do."

Pause.

Max: "But don't wear that."

The group laughed.

Anthony watched Max.

Anthony: Why does she care?

Max: She loves him.

Anthony: Yes.

Max: And she wants him to look good.

Anthony: Yes.

Max: And she thinks she knows what's best.

Anthony smiled.

Max: Oh no.

Anthony: What?

Max: You're going somewhere with this.

Anthony: I'm standing right here.

They reached a table.

Before anyone could sit, a woman at the next table spoke loudly to her husband.

Woman: You haven't taken one picture of me tonight.

Husband: I've taken fourteen.

Woman: Those don't count.

Jerry froze.

Jerry: Fourteen photographs don't count?

Trevor laughed.

Jerry: What happened to them?

Jim: Wrong angle.

Jerry: So they exist, but legally they're not photographs.

Robin became the woman.

Robin: "I want a candid picture."

Then the husband.

Robin: "Okay."

He pretended to take a photograph.

Woman:

Robin: "NOT NOW!"

Husband:

Robin: "But that's candid!"

Woman:

Robin: "I need to know first!"

Jerry shook his head.

Jerry: A scheduled candid.

Anthony was laughing so hard he had to sit down.

When the laughter subsided, Anthony asked:

Anthony: What does she really want?

Jim: Better lighting.

Anthony: Perhaps.

Trevor: She wants to feel noticed.

Anthony nodded.

Max: That's not unreasonable.

Anthony: I agree.

Max seemed surprised.

Max: You agree?

Anthony: Of course.

Max: I'm beginning to understand your tricks.

Anthony: There are no tricks.

Jerry: There are definitely tricks.

Anthony smiled.

Anthony: Wanting attention from someone you love is natural.

Wanting affection is natural.

Wanting companionship is natural.

The interesting question begins when wanting becomes...

He paused.

Trevor supplied the word.

Trevor: Needing?

Anthony: More precisely, demanding.

The band began playing a slow song.

Couples moved onto the dance floor.

Anthony watched them.

Anthony: Imagine I say to you, "I love you."

Beautiful words.

Then underneath them, perhaps without realizing it, I add:

"You must love me in exactly the way I require."

"You must remain the person I fell in love with."

"You must agree with me."

"You must call me often enough."

"You must make me feel important."

"You must never prefer something to me."

"You must behave in ways that protect my happiness."

Jerry leaned back.

Jerry: That's a very long wedding vow.

Robin immediately stood.

He became a minister.

Robin, solemnly: Do you take this person to have and to hold, to cherish and obey all unspoken expectations that will be revealed gradually over the next forty-seven years?

Max nearly fell out of his chair.

Robin became the groom.

Robin: I do.

Minister:

Robin: Excellent. You have no idea what you've agreed to.

Everyone laughed.

Anthony did too.

Then Max leaned forward.

Max: But wait.

Anthony looked at him.

Max: Some expectations are part of love.

Anthony: Such as?

Max: If I'm married, I expect fidelity.

Anthony: Reasonable.

Max: I expect honesty.

Anthony: Reasonable.

Max: If we have children, I expect us both to care for them.

Anthony: Of course.

Max: Then expectations aren't necessarily attachment.

Anthony: Correct.

Max blinked.

Max: You're making this difficult.

Jerry: He agrees with you and somehow you still lose.

Anthony laughed.

Anthony: I'm not trying to win.

There are agreements in relationships.

Responsibilities.

Commitments.

Promises.

Boundaries.

Those aren't what I'm questioning.

He pointed gently toward his chest.

Anthony: I'm asking what happens inside me when I make another human being responsible for my sense of worth.

The laughter faded.

Anthony: "If you stop loving me, I become nothing."

"If my child disappoints me, my life is ruined."

"If you leave me, I cannot live."

"If you don't approve of me, I cannot be at peace."

Now we're talking about something deeper than commitment.

A little girl ran past them.

Her father followed.

Father: Don't run!

The girl ran faster.

Father: I said don't run!

She disappeared around a table.

Jerry watched.

Jerry: That's another strange thing.

Trevor: What?

Jerry: Parents think increasing volume changes the meaning of the sentence.

Robin became a father.

Robin: DON'T RUN!

Then louder.

Robin: DON'T RUN!

Then operatic.

Robin: DOOOOOON'T RUUUUUUUN!

Jim laughed.

Jerry: At some point the child thinks, "Oh, I didn't realize you meant don't run."

Max smiled.

Max: Parenting is where this gets really interesting.

He turned to Anthony.

Max: A parent has to control some things.

Anthony: Certainly.

Max: A five-year-old can't say, "I need freedom from your attachment. I'm going to play on the freeway."

Jim: That's an advanced five-year-old.

Anthony: Protection isn't possession.

Max: But where's the line?

Anthony considered the question.

Anthony: Perhaps we can find it by asking:

"Am I doing this for the child's well-being, or because I need the child to become something that makes me feel successful?"

Max became quiet.

Trevor nodded slowly.

Trevor: That's different.

Anthony continued.

Anthony: "My daughter must become a doctor."

Why?

Perhaps she genuinely wants to become one.

Wonderful.

Perhaps her parent sees a gift in her and encourages it.

Wonderful.

Or perhaps:

"If my daughter becomes a doctor, I become the parent of a doctor."

Max smiled knowingly.

Max: That's very real.

Anthony: Now whose dream is it?

Robin became an excited mother.

Robin: "My daughter has been accepted to medical school!"

Then another mother.

Robin: "Wonderful! Mine is already a surgeon."

First mother, suddenly deflated:

Robin: "Oh."

Everyone laughed.

Trevor: Comparison even enters love.

Anthony: Very easily.

The bride and groom began their first dance.

For a moment everyone watched.

They seemed completely absorbed in each other.

Max smiled.

Max: That's beautiful.

Anthony nodded.

Anthony: Very.

Max glanced suspiciously at him.

Max: Nothing else?

Anthony: What else?

Max: No hidden lesson?

Anthony: Max, sometimes a dance is a dance.

Jerry nodded approvingly.

Jerry: He's learning.

Anthony laughed.

They watched quietly.

Then Trevor spoke.

Trevor: I think there's something I disagree with.

Anthony turned.

Trevor: Human beings actually need other human beings.

Anthony: Yes.

Trevor: Not just prefer them.

Babies need attachment.

Children need security.

Adults need connection.

People need community.

Marriage can involve genuine interdependence.

Anthony listened.

Trevor: If we take nonattachment too far, couldn't we create people who are emotionally detached and call that enlightenment?

Max nodded.

Max: Exactly.

Jerry: "I don't need anybody" can become its own ego.

Anthony smiled.

Anthony: Very good.

Jerry stared.

Jerry: I hate when he says "very good."

Jim laughed.

Jerry: You feel like you've finally caught him, then he congratulates you.

Anthony leaned forward.

Anthony: Detachment isn't indifference.

If your child is hurting, you hurt.

If your friend needs you, you go.

If your spouse is frightened, you hold them.

If someone you love succeeds, you celebrate.

You don't become stone.

Trevor: Then what disappears?

Anthony thought.

Anthony: The demand that the other person exist primarily to complete you.

That quieted the table.

Robin looked across the dance floor.

His voice was softer now.

Robin: So love says, "I'm glad you're here."

Anthony nodded.

Robin: Attachment says...

He searched.

Robin: "You'd better stay."

Anthony looked at him.

Anthony: Yes.

Max added:

Max: Love says, "I want you."

Trevor:

Trevor: Attachment says, "Without you, I disappear."

Anthony nodded.

Jerry leaned forward.

Jerry: But here's the problem.

Everyone turned.

Jerry: What if they do disappear?

Anthony looked puzzled.

Jerry: Not metaphorically.

What if somebody dies?

The table became still.

The music continued in the distance.

Jerry's voice remained quiet.

Jerry: Suppose you've been married fifty years.

You wake up beside someone every morning.

You know how they drink coffee.

You know what annoys them.

You know what makes them laugh.

You have children together.

History together.

Then one day they're gone.

He looked at Anthony.

Jerry: Are you really going to tell that person their devastation is attachment?

No one joked.

Anthony didn't answer immediately.

Max watched him closely.

Max: That's important.

Anthony: Yes.

Max: Because if awareness means I shouldn't be devastated when someone I love dies, I'm not sure I want that kind of awareness.

Anthony nodded.

Anthony: Neither do I.

A long silence.

Anthony looked across the room at the newlyweds.

Anthony: Love makes us vulnerable.

To love someone is to allow their existence to matter enormously.

If they die, there is pain.

Awareness isn't anesthesia.

Trevor listened carefully.

Anthony: Grief comes.

Let it come.

Tears come.

Let them come.

You miss the voice.

The chair.

The footsteps.

The person who knew your history.

The private jokes nobody else understands.

Anthony paused.

Anthony: Awareness doesn't ask you to pretend none of that matters.

Max's expression softened.

Anthony: But grief and resistance aren't exactly the same thing.

Jerry: What do you mean?

Anthony: "I miss you" is grief.

"This must not have happened" is resistance.

"I wish you were here" is grief.

"I cannot possibly live now that you're gone" may contain something else.

Trevor nodded.

Anthony: Awareness doesn't necessarily remove the first.

It may gradually loosen the second.

Nobody spoke.

Robin stared at the dance floor.

Robin: That's a big difference.

Anthony: Yes.

The band changed songs.

Several older couples joined the newlyweds.

One elderly couple danced slowly near the edge of the floor.

The man's hand trembled slightly.

His wife held it.

They weren't elegant.

They weren't performing.

They simply moved together.

Jim watched them.

Jim: That's better than the first dance.

Jerry looked.

Jerry: Why?

Jim shrugged.

Jim: Fifty years, maybe.

They know.

Anthony smiled.

Anthony: Perhaps that's love after many illusions have had time to fall away.

Max looked at the elderly couple.

Max: Or fifty years of arguments.

Jerry: Same thing.

They laughed gently.

A few minutes later, the wedding cake arrived.

Jim immediately stood.

Jim: I believe this topic has reached its natural conclusion.

Trevor grabbed his sleeve.

Trevor: Sit down.

Jim: Love is being served.

Robin became the bride's mother.

Robin: "Nobody touch the cake until the pictures!"

Jim looked horrified.

Jim: That's not love.

Anthony laughed.

The cake was photographed.

Then photographed again.

Then the bride and groom were repositioned.

Then the knife was repositioned.

Jerry stared.

Jerry: Nobody's allowed to experience anything anymore until it's documented.

Trevor looked at him.

Trevor: That's probably our next station.

Jerry nodded.

Jerry: Oh no.

Robin held up an imaginary phone.

Robin: "Darling, this is the happiest moment of our lives!"

He turned away from his imaginary spouse.

Robin: "Wait, I need to post it."

Anthony laughed.

The station announcement suddenly sounded from somewhere beyond the reception.

Announcement: Passengers continuing their journey should prepare to depart.

The next service will be leaving shortly for...

A pause.

APPROVAL

Robin looked terrified.

Robin: Oh, that's going to be crowded.

Jerry stood.

Jerry: Everybody's going there.

Max remained seated for a moment.

He looked at Anthony.

Max: Let me try something.

Anthony: Please.

Max: Love isn't saying, "I don't need you."

Anthony listened.

Max: And it isn't saying, "You don't matter."

Anthony: Correct.

Max: Maybe it's closer to...

Max thought.

Max: "You matter tremendously to me, but I don't own you."

Anthony smiled.

Max: There's the smile again.

Anthony: This time you earned it.

Jerry: Careful. Now he's making you dependent on approval.

Max stared at Anthony.

Anthony stared at Jerry.

Robin gasped.

Robin: HE GOT HIM!

Everyone burst out laughing.

Anthony raised both hands.

Anthony: Very good, Jerry.

Jerry immediately pointed.

Jerry: Stop approving of me!

The laughter followed them out of the wedding reception.

They walked back across the platform.

Behind them, the elderly couple was still dancing.

Ahead, their train waited.

Robin climbed aboard first.

Jim followed, carrying two pieces of wedding cake nobody remembered seeing him acquire.

Trevor noticed.

Trevor: Where did those come from?

Jim: Love freely given.

Jerry: You stole them.

Jim: Attachment is such an ugly word.

Anthony shook his head, laughing.

Max stopped before boarding.

He looked back once more at the enormous word above the reception hall:

FOREVER

Max: Anthony?

Anthony: Yes?

Max: Nothing lasts forever here, does it?

Anthony looked at the wedding.

Then at Max.

Anthony: Perhaps that's why holding tightly doesn't work.

Max nodded.

Anthony stepped onto the train.

Max followed.

The doors closed.

As the train pulled away, Robin looked through the rear window at the shrinking wedding lights.

Then he turned back.

Robin: So where exactly are we going?

The speakers crackled.

Announcement: Next stop: APPROVAL.

Jerry sighed.

Jerry: Great.

He looked around the carriage.

Jerry: Does everybody like me so far?

Five hands immediately reached for imaginary phones.

Robin began counting invisible likes.

And Anthony laughed.

Topic 4: "I DON'T CARE WHAT PEOPLE THINK!"

Please Like Me

The train entered the station beneath a glowing sign:

APPROVAL

Underneath, in smaller letters:

YOUR OPINION OF YOURSELF MAY DEPEND ON OTHERS.

Jerry Seinfeld read it twice.

Jerry Seinfeld: At least they're honest here.

The doors opened.

Nobody moved.

Max Amini: Why aren't we getting off?

Jerry: I'm waiting to see if everyone else gets off first.

Anthony de Mello smiled.

Jerry noticed.

Jerry: Don't.

Anthony de Mello: I didn't say anything.

Jerry: Your face did.

Robin Williams jumped to his feet.

Robin Williams, as therapist: "And how did Anthony's face make you feel?"

Jerry: Judged.

Robin switched instantly to Anthony.

Robin: "Interesting."

Then back to therapist.

Robin: "And how does being judged make you feel?"

Jerry: I'm not participating in this.

Jim Gaffigan: I thought that was the whole point of the station.

Trevor Noah stood.

Trevor Noah: Come on. Let's go find out whether strangers approve of us.

Jim: Finally, something humans are naturally good at.

They stepped onto the platform.

A young woman approached.

Woman: Excuse me, are you Jerry Seinfeld?

Jerry smiled.

Jerry: Yes.

Her face lit up.

Woman: My father loves you!

She hurried away.

Jerry stood silently.

Max looked at him.

Max: Congratulations.

Jerry: I'm very popular with people's fathers.

Anthony grinned.

Jerry: Don't analyze it.

Anthony: Did it feel good?

Jerry paused.

Jerry: A little.

Anthony: Nothing wrong with that.

Jerry stared suspiciously.

Jerry: You're becoming unpredictable.

Anthony: Praise can feel wonderful.

Max: So we can enjoy approval?

Anthony: Certainly.

Max: Then what's the problem?

Anthony pointed ahead.

Anthony: Let's find out.

Beyond the platform stood something resembling a gigantic movie studio.

A sign welcomed them:

THE AUTHENTIC YOU

Below it:

NOW FILMING

They entered.

Hundreds of people stood before ring lights and cameras.

Phones were mounted everywhere.

Giant screens displayed:

LIKES

FOLLOWERS

VIEWS

COMMENTS

SHARES

TRENDING

A young man faced a camera.

Young Man: I've reached a point in my life where I genuinely don't care what anybody thinks of me.

He stopped recording.

Immediately:

Young Man: How many views?

Jerry froze.

Jerry: That's magnificent.

Robin became the young man.

Robin: "I don't need validation!"

He refreshed an imaginary phone.

Robin: Refresh.

Refresh.

Refresh.

He became increasingly frantic.

Robin: "WHY HASN'T ANYBODY VALIDATED MY INDEPENDENCE FROM VALIDATION?"

Everyone laughed.

Anthony looked around.

Anthony: Humans have always wanted approval.

Social media didn't invent that.

Trevor: It gave us numbers.

Anthony nodded.

Trevor: That's new.

Jerry: That's the problem. We used to wonder whether people liked us.

Now we have analytics.

Jim: Much more efficient insecurity.

They passed a photography set.

A woman posed casually beside a coffee cup.

The photographer took a picture.

She examined it.

Woman: No.

Another.

Woman: No.

Another.

Woman: My arm looks weird.

Another.

Woman: Too posed.

Another.

Woman: I want something natural.

Jerry watched for several minutes.

Jerry: We've taken thirty-seven photographs trying to prove this moment wasn't planned.

Max laughed.

Robin immediately became the photographer.

Robin: "Okay, everybody relax!"

He stiffened his entire body.

Robin: "BE NATURAL!"

He rearranged his imaginary subject.

Robin: "Chin down. Shoulder back. Coffee left. Smile less. Laugh more. Look away. Pretend you don't know there's a camera."

Click.

Robin admired the imaginary photograph.

Robin: "Perfect. Authenticity achieved."

Anthony laughed.

Max watched the woman post the photograph.

Then she waited.

A notification.

She smiled.

Another.

Another.

Her smile grew.

Then she frowned.

Max: What happened?

Trevor: Somebody commented something.

The woman deleted the comment.

Jerry stared.

Jerry: Isn't that interesting?

Anthony: What?

Jerry: A hundred people tell you that you look wonderful.

One person says you look terrible.

Which one do you think about before bed?

Anthony nodded.

Jim: The terrible one.

Jerry: Always!

Max: Why?

Nobody answered immediately.

Anthony looked at them.

Anthony: Yes.

Why?

Robin suddenly became a small child holding a drawing.

Robin, as child: Mommy! Look!

Then the mother.

Robin: Beautiful!

The child's face lit up.

He became the child again, holding another imaginary drawing.

Robin: Mommy! Look!

Mother:

Robin: Beautiful!

Another drawing.

Robin: Mommy!

Another.

Robin: Mommy!

Another.

Faster now.

Robin: Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!

Then Robin transformed into a teenager holding a phone.

Robin: Look.

Then a young adult.

Robin: Look.

Then a businessman.

Robin: Look what I achieved.

Then an entertainer.

Robin: Look how many people came.

Then an older man.

Robin: Look what I've done with my life.

He stopped.

Nobody laughed.

Robin: Same kid?

Anthony looked at him.

Anthony: Sometimes.

Max leaned back.

Max: But wanting your parents to be proud of you isn't bad.

Anthony: Of course not.

Max: Wanting your spouse to appreciate you isn't bad.

Anthony: No.

Max: Wanting an audience to enjoy your comedy isn't bad.

Anthony: No.

Max: Then where does it change?

Anthony thought for a moment.

Anthony: Perhaps here.

He pointed toward Robin.

Anthony: "I enjoy your approval."

Then he moved his hand slightly.

Anthony: "I need your approval."

Another movement.

Anthony: "Without your approval, something is wrong with me."

The group became quiet.

Trevor: That's quite a progression.

Anthony: And frequently we don't notice when we cross from one to another.

They walked farther into the studio.

A large set was labeled:

SUCCESS PORTRAITS

People posed beside symbols of accomplishment.

A luxury car.

An enormous house.

An executive desk.

A private jet backdrop.

Awards.

Designer clothing.

Jerry stopped beside the fake jet.

He touched it.

Jerry: It's plywood.

Max laughed.

Jerry: We're taking photographs beside a fake private jet to convince strangers that we're successful.

Trevor smiled.

Jerry: Strangers who are taking photographs beside another fake private jet to convince us they're successful.

Jim nodded.

Jim: It's a very successful plywood industry.

Robin became a wealthy influencer.

Robin: "Guys, I'm incredibly blessed."

He leaned toward the imaginary camera.

Robin: "I don't normally talk about money."

He gestured dramatically at the fake jet.

Robin: "Anyway, here's my Lamborghini."

Jerry looked at Anthony.

Jerry: Why do we want people we don't know to envy us?

Anthony turned the question back.

Anthony: Why do you think?

Jerry: Status.

Anthony: And what does status give us?

Trevor: Social value.

Anthony: And beneath that?

Max answered quietly.

Max: "I matter."

Anthony nodded.

Max looked around.

Max: This goes back to childhood again.

Anthony: Much of it does.

Max immediately became a father.

Max: "You got an A?"

Then another father.

Max: "My son got an A-plus."

First father:

Max: "Well, my son is in honors."

Second:

Max: "My son skipped a grade."

Robin joined as a third parent.

Robin: "My son was born already holding a medical degree."

Jim laughed.

Max became the first father again.

Max: "My son..."

He looked desperately around.

Max: "...has excellent posture."

Everyone broke up.

Then Max dropped the character.

Max: But this happens.

Your child becomes part of your identity.

Anthony nodded.

Max: Their success feels like your success.

Their failure feels like your failure.

Anthony: Which can become dangerous for the child.

Trevor: Because now they're carrying two lives.

Anthony: Exactly.

Their own life...

and the parent's reputation.

Max became quiet.

Anthony: Love the child.

Guide the child.

Celebrate the child.

But notice the moment when you begin asking:

"What does my child's life say about me?"

Trevor stopped walking.

Trevor: I want to challenge something again.

Anthony smiled.

Trevor: Approval isn't merely vanity.

Anthony: No.

Trevor: Humans evolved socially. Being rejected by your group once had serious consequences.

Anthony: Certainly.

Trevor: And even now, reputation matters.

If my employer thinks badly of me, I could lose my job.

If my friends stop trusting me, I might need to examine my behavior.

If everybody tells me I'm behaving terribly, perhaps they're seeing something I don't.

Jerry nodded.

Jerry: If everybody thinks you're annoying, the enlightened response probably isn't, "I'm free from your opinions."

Jim laughed.

Anthony: Excellent.

Jerry: There it is again.

Anthony smiled.

Anthony: Freedom from approval doesn't mean refusing feedback.

Trevor nodded.

Anthony: Someone criticizes me.

I can ask:

"Is it true?"

If it is true, wonderful. I've learned something.

If it isn't true, why must I be destroyed?

Max: That's hard.

Anthony: Very.

Max: Especially when it's personal.

Anthony: Yes.

Max: Suppose someone says, "You're a terrible father."

Anthony nodded.

Max: That doesn't feel like information. That hits somewhere deeper.

Anthony: Then observe where it hits.

Max looked at him.

Anthony: Don't immediately fight the person.

Don't immediately fight yourself.

Look.

What hurts?

Is it:

"I may have failed someone I love"?

That's worth examining.

Or is it:

"I need everyone to see me as a good father"?

Those are different wounds.

Max became thoughtful.

They reached another room.

Above the entrance:

THE CRITIC

Inside sat one chair.

A screen faced it.

Jerry sat down.

Immediately words appeared:

YOU'RE OVERRATED.

Jerry nodded.

Jerry: Good start.

Next:

YOU'RE NOT FUNNY.

Jerry: I've heard that.

Next:

YOU USED TO BE BETTER.

Jerry looked offended.

Jerry: Now that's unnecessary.

Everyone laughed.

Anthony stepped closer.

Anthony: What happened?

Jerry: Nothing.

Anthony: Your face changed.

Jerry: My face is allowed to have opinions.

Another message appeared:

NOBODY CARES WHAT YOU THINK.

Jerry stood.

Jerry: I'm done with this attraction.

Anthony laughed.

Max sat down.

The screen changed.

YOU'RE NOT SUCCESSFUL ENOUGH.

Max shrugged.

Next:

YOU DISAPPOINTED YOUR FAMILY.

Max's expression changed.

Anthony noticed.

Anthony: There.

Max stared at the screen.

Max: Yeah.

Anthony: Different sentence. Different wound.

Max nodded.

Anthony: That's awareness.

Max: Not making the feeling disappear?

Anthony: No.

Max: Just seeing what happened?

Anthony: Seeing it clearly.

Max continued looking at the words.

Max: Interesting.

Robin sat next.

The screen displayed:

YOU'RE TOO MUCH.

Robin grinned.

Robin: Correct!

The screen:

YOU'RE NOT ENOUGH.

Robin's grin disappeared.

The others noticed.

Robin stared for a second.

Then quietly:

Robin: That's clever.

Anthony sat beside him.

Anthony: Which one hurt?

Robin pointed.

Robin: That one.

Anthony: Why?

Robin thought.

Robin: Because some part of you can always believe it.

Anthony nodded.

Jim reluctantly sat in the chair.

The screen displayed:

YOU NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT.

Jim looked at it.

Jim: Is this machine my doctor?

Next:

PEOPLE ARE JUDGING YOU.

Jim shrugged.

Jim: People judge everybody.

Next:

YOU ATE TOO MUCH AT THE WEDDING.

Jim stood.

Jim: This machine has crossed a line.

The room exploded with laughter.

Outside again, Trevor looked at Anthony.

Trevor: So what's the goal?

Not caring?

Anthony: No.

Trevor: Then what?

Anthony pointed at the screens around them.

Anthony: Imagine someone praises you.

Enjoy it.

Someone criticizes you.

Listen.

Someone misunderstands you.

Perhaps explain yourself.

Someone rejects you.

Feel the pain.

Someone loves you.

Receive it.

He paused.

Anthony: But don't hand them the deed to your identity.

Silence.

Jerry nodded slowly.

Jerry: That's good.

Anthony looked at him.

Jerry: Don't enjoy that too much.

They laughed.

Robin wandered over to a massive screen showing follower counts.

Numbers constantly climbed and fell.

Robin: This is amazing.

He became a game-show announcer.

Robin: Congratulations, Susan! Ten thousand followers!

Applause.

Robin: How do you feel?

Susan:

Robin: Amazing!

Announcer:

Robin: Wonderful! Jessica has twelve thousand.

Susan:

Robin: I hate my life.

Everyone laughed.

Robin continued.

Robin: David! One million followers!

David:

Robin: Finally!

Announcer:

Robin: Your last video underperformed.

David:

Robin: I'm finished.

Robin turned back to himself.

Robin: There's no winning this game.

Anthony smiled.

Anthony: Unless you stop using the scoreboard to measure yourself.

Max looked around at the thousands of people filming, posing, refreshing, checking and comparing.

Max: What would happen if all these numbers disappeared?

Trevor looked around too.

Trevor: People would still want approval.

Jerry: We'd find another system.

Jim: We always do.

Anthony nodded.

Anthony: The technology isn't the deepest issue.

The hunger existed before the screen.

Robin slowly lowered his imaginary phone.

Robin: "Look at me."

Anthony nodded.

Robin repeated it, quieter.

Robin: "Look at me."

Then:

Robin: "Tell me I'm okay."

Nobody spoke.

Anthony looked around the group.

Anthony: Perhaps that's what much of our performance is asking.

The studio lights suddenly shut off.

Every screen went black.

The follower counts disappeared.

The cameras stopped.

The ring lights went dark.

People around them began murmuring.

Jerry: What happened?

A voice came over the speakers.

Announcement: The APPROVAL experience is now closed.

Please proceed to the platform.

Robin stared at his dark phone.

Robin: How many likes did I get?

Nothing.

Robin: Hello?

Nothing.

Robin: Anybody?

Max laughed.

They began walking out.

Jerry stopped.

Jerry: Wait.

Everyone turned.

Jerry: Who are we supposed to impress now?

Anthony smiled.

Jerry: Don't answer that.

They returned to the train.

Something had changed.

Nobody immediately spoke.

There were no screens in the carriage.

No audience.

No cameras.

No applause.

Just six men.

The train began moving.

Robin sat across from Anthony.

Robin: Anthony?

Anthony: Yes?

Robin: If nobody is watching me...

He paused.

Robin: ...am I still funny?

Anthony looked at him.

Anthony: Are you?

Robin thought.

Then suddenly crossed his eyes and made an absurd face.

Jim burst out laughing.

Robin pointed at Jim.

Robin: One vote.

Everyone laughed.

Anthony did too.

The train continued into the darkness.

After several minutes, the announcement returned.

But this time there was no station name.

Announcement: Final stop approaching.

Jerry looked up.

Jerry: What's it called?

No answer.

Max looked through the window.

There was no glowing mall.

No wedding.

No studio.

Only a small roadside diner standing alone beneath the early morning sky.

A simple neon sign flickered:

OPEN

Jim sat upright.

Jim: Finally, a spiritual destination I understand.

Trevor laughed.

The train slowed.

Jerry looked at Anthony.

Jerry: No audience?

Anthony: Apparently not.

Max: No shopping?

Anthony: Doesn't look like it.

Trevor: No wedding?

Anthony: No.

Robin looked outside.

Robin: No stage.

Anthony shook his head.

The train stopped.

The doors opened.

For several seconds, nobody moved.

Then Anthony stood.

Anthony: Now perhaps we can ask the difficult question.

Jerry sighed.

Jerry: There's another one?

Anthony smiled.

Anthony: Who are you when nobody is watching?

Robin looked at the little diner.

Jim stood beside him.

Jim: Whoever I am...

He pointed through the window.

Jim: ...he wants pancakes.

Anthony laughed.

They stepped off the train together.

Topic 5: "ARE YOU AWAKE NOW?"

Who Is Left When Nobody Is Watching?

The diner was almost empty.

No cameras.

No giant screens.

No wedding guests.

No advertisements promising a better life.

No applause.

No follower counts.

Just six men walking through a glass door beneath a flickering red OPEN sign.

A waitress looked up from behind the counter.

Waitress: Sit anywhere.

Jim Gaffigan stopped.

Jim Gaffigan: Finally.

Jerry Seinfeld looked at him.

Jerry Seinfeld: Finally what?

Jim: Someone who doesn't care who we are.

Robin Williams immediately became an excited maître d'.

Robin Williams: "Mr. Gaffigan! We've prepared the celebrity booth!"

Then the waitress again, completely unimpressed.

Robin: "Booth's dirty. Sit over there."

Jim nodded.

Jim: Freedom.

Anthony de Mello laughed.

They took a booth beside the window.

Outside, the sky was beginning to lighten.

Anthony sat at one end.

Max Amini and Trevor Noah squeezed in beside him.

Jerry, Robin and Jim took the other side.

The waitress approached.

Waitress: Coffee?

Everyone nodded.

Jim: Pancakes.

Waitress: I asked about coffee.

Jim: I heard an opportunity.

She stared at him.

Jim: Pancakes?

Waitress: Fine.

She walked away.

Jerry watched her.

Jerry: I like her.

Max Amini: Why?

Jerry: She doesn't need our approval.

Anthony smiled.

Jerry pointed immediately.

Jerry: Don't turn everything into a lesson.

Anthony de Mello: You're doing it yourself now.

Jerry froze.

Robin gasped.

Robin: He's inside your head!

Coffee arrived.

For a little while, nobody talked.

There was nothing demanding their attention.

No destination.

No performance.

No problem to solve.

Trevor looked around.

Trevor Noah: This feels strange.

Max: Why?

Trevor: Nothing is happening.

Jerry sipped his coffee.

Jerry: People aren't good at nothing happening.

Jim: Something's happening.

Everyone looked at him.

Jim: Pancakes are coming.

Anthony looked around the table.

Anthony: May I ask you something?

Jerry sighed.

Jerry: We've made it this far.

Anthony: Who are you?

Jerry looked around.

Jerry: That's the difficult question?

Anthony: Yes.

Jerry: Jerry Seinfeld.

Anthony: That's your name.

Jerry: It's been very useful.

Anthony: But who are you?

Jerry stared.

Jerry: A comedian.

Anthony: That's your profession.

Jerry: American.

Anthony: Nationality.

Jerry: Husband.

Anthony: Relationship.

Jerry: Father.

Anthony: Relationship.

Jerry leaned back.

Jerry: This is a terrible game.

Max laughed.

Jerry: Every answer I give, you take it away.

Anthony: I'm not taking anything away.

I'm asking whether those things are you.

Jerry thought.

Jerry: They're parts of me.

Anthony: Perhaps.

He looked around the table.

Anthony: But suppose Jerry stops performing tomorrow.

Does Jerry disappear?

Jerry: My accountant would notice.

Everyone laughed.

Anthony: Suppose nobody recognizes you.

Jerry: I'd probably get better restaurant reservations.

Anthony: Are you less you?

Jerry shook his head.

Anthony: Then comedian isn't the whole answer.

Anthony turned toward Max.

Anthony: Who are you?

Max smiled.

Max: I know the game now.

Anthony: Good.

Max: Max.

Anthony: Name.

Max: Comedian.

Anthony: Profession.

Max: Iranian-American.

Anthony: Cultural identity.

Max: Son.

Anthony: Relationship.

Max: Man.

Anthony waited.

Max laughed.

Max: You're going to take that too?

Anthony: I'm not taking anything.

Max: Fine.

He thought.

Max: I'm...

He stopped.

Everyone waited.

Max: That's actually difficult.

Anthony nodded.

Max: If I remove the name, career, nationality, family...

He looked at Anthony.

Max: What's left?

Anthony smiled.

Max: Don't smile. Answer.

Anthony: Who noticed all those identities?

Max paused.

Anthony: You noticed:

"I have a name."

"I have a profession."

"I have a nationality."

"I have relationships."

Who is doing the noticing?

Max stared into his coffee.

Max: Me.

Anthony: Who is "me"?

Max laughed.

Max: We just went in a circle.

Jerry: That's how you know it's philosophy.

Robin suddenly straightened.

Robin: I can answer.

Anthony turned toward him.

Robin became a stern father.

Robin: "You need to be responsible."

Then a mother.

Robin: "What will people think?"

Then a teacher.

Robin: "You have so much potential."

Then a boss.

Robin: "We need more from you."

Then an audience.

Robin: "MAKE US LAUGH!"

Then a critic.

Robin: "You're not funny."

Then a fan.

Robin: "You're a genius!"

Then fear.

His voice became tiny.

Robin: "What if they stop loving you?"

Then ambition.

Robin: "Bigger."

Another voice.

Robin: "More."

Another.

Robin: "Faster."

Another.

Robin: "Don't stop."

Another.

Robin: "You're falling behind."

Another.

Robin: "Everybody else is doing better."

He stopped.

Silence.

Then Robin became a frightened child.

Robin: "Am I okay?"

Silence again.

Robin returned to himself.

No character.

No voice.

He looked at Anthony.

Robin: There.

Anthony waited.

Robin: All day we've been talking about those voices.

Parents.

Teachers.

Culture.

Money.

Success.

Marriage.

Audience.

Critics.

He tapped his temple.

Robin: They're all in here.

Anthony nodded.

Robin: But if I can hear them...

He paused.

Robin: ...I can't be any one of them.

Anthony's face softened.

Anthony: Look.

Robin closed his eyes.

For once he didn't perform.

The waitress arrived carrying Jim's pancakes.

Waitress: Who ordered these?

Jim raised his hand immediately.

Jim: I know exactly who I am.

The table exploded with laughter.

Even Robin opened his eyes.

Jim: You people can dismantle your identities. I'm eating.

Anthony laughed.

Anthony: Perfect.

Jim: Really?

Anthony: Yes.

Jim: I'm suspicious.

Anthony pointed at the pancakes.

Anthony: Eat.

Taste them.

Enjoy them.

Jim poured syrup.

Anthony: Don't become the pancakes.

Jim stopped pouring.

Jim: That wasn't going to happen.

Jerry: Give him time.

Trevor had been quiet.

Now he leaned forward.

Trevor: There's something about this idea that bothers me.

Anthony nodded.

Trevor: Identity matters.

Anthony: Yes.

Trevor: Culture matters.

History matters.

Family matters.

Where you came from matters.

What happened to you matters.

Anthony: Yes.

Trevor: Then why keep stripping everything away?

Anthony considered carefully.

Anthony: I'm not saying these things don't matter.

I'm asking whether they contain the whole of you.

Trevor listened.

Anthony: Suppose someone insults your nationality.

If your nationality is the entirety of who you are, the insult threatens your entire self.

Suppose someone criticizes your profession.

If your profession is you, the criticism becomes an attack upon your existence.

Suppose your business fails.

If success is you, then you have failed as a human being.

Trevor: But if these are things I have rather than everything I am...

Anthony: Then you can care deeply without being completely imprisoned by them.

Trevor nodded slowly.

Jerry looked at Anthony.

Jerry: So what's the thing underneath everything?

Anthony: I don't know.

Jerry blinked.

Jerry: Excuse me?

Anthony laughed.

Jerry: We rode this train all night and you don't know?

Anthony: Wonderful, isn't it?

Jerry: No!

Max laughed.

Jerry: You're the spiritual teacher!

Anthony: Which means I should invent an answer?

Jerry: Usually that's how this works.

Anthony smiled.

Anthony: The moment I give you another label, what will you do?

Jerry thought.

Anthony: You'll memorize it.

"The true self."

"Pure consciousness."

"Soul."

"Observer."

"Spirit."

Then tomorrow someone asks who you are and you repeat the new label.

Jerry nodded.

Anthony: And you've learned another word.

Trevor: Without necessarily seeing anything.

Anthony: Exactly.

Jerry: So you don't want us to answer the question.

Anthony: I want you to experience the question.

That quieted the booth.

Outside, the darkness was lifting.

A truck drove past.

Somewhere in the kitchen, dishes clattered.

Jim ate.

Nobody spoke for nearly a minute.

Then Max broke the silence.

Max: This would make terrible television.

Jerry nodded.

Jerry: Six people sitting quietly.

Robin became a television executive.

Robin: "Can we get an explosion?"

They laughed.

Anthony looked at them.

Anthony: There's another question we haven't finished.

Max knew immediately.

Max: Suffering.

Anthony nodded.

Max: We talked about grief at the wedding.

Anthony: Yes.

Max: But let's make it harder.

Suppose I lose everything.

Money.

Career.

Reputation.

Someone I love.

Maybe my health.

Does awareness actually help?

Anthony didn't answer quickly.

Jim: Good question.

Max continued.

Max: It's easy to talk about detachment in a diner.

What happens when life actually hurts?

Anthony nodded.

Anthony: Then it hurts.

Max waited.

Max: That's your answer?

Anthony: Part of it.

Max: Awareness doesn't stop pain?

Anthony: Why should it?

Trevor leaned forward.

Anthony: Your body hurts.

It hurts.

Someone dies.

You grieve.

Someone betrays you.

You feel pain.

You lose something important.

You feel loss.

Awareness isn't pretending pain doesn't exist.

Jerry: Then what changes?

Anthony picked up a spoon.

He placed it on the table.

Anthony: Suppose something painful happens.

That's this.

Then the mind begins.

He placed a sugar packet beside it.

Anthony: "This shouldn't have happened."

Another packet.

Anthony: "My life is ruined."

Another.

Anthony: "I'll never be happy again."

Another.

Anthony: "Everyone else has a better life."

Another.

Anthony: "This proves I'm a failure."

Another.

Anthony: "God has abandoned me."

Another.

Anthony: "I cannot survive this."

Soon the spoon was surrounded.

Anthony pointed.

Anthony: The original pain may be unavoidable.

He pointed to the packets.

Anthony: But look how much the mind can build around it.

Trevor stared at the table.

Trevor: You're saying suffering can contain the event and the story about the event.

Anthony: Often.

Max: But sometimes the story is true.

Anthony nodded immediately.

Anthony: Yes.

Max: Someone can genuinely be in a terrible situation.

Anthony: Of course.

Max: Then awareness isn't telling yourself everything is wonderful.

Anthony: Absolutely not.

Anthony swept the sugar packets together.

Anthony: Awareness means seeing what is actually here.

Not making reality prettier.

Not making it uglier.

Seeing.

Jerry pointed at the spoon.

Jerry: So let's say my career ends.

Anthony: Fine.

Jerry: Not fine.

Anthony: Fair enough.

They laughed.

Jerry: My career ends.

The fact is:

"My career ended."

Anthony: Yes.

Jerry: Then my mind says:

"I'm finished."

Anthony: Yes.

Jerry: "Nobody cares about me."

Anthony: Perhaps.

Jerry: "My best years are behind me."

Anthony: Perhaps.

Jerry: "Without comedy, I'm nobody."

Anthony nodded.

Jerry: And awareness asks which of those things is actually happening right now.

Anthony: Exactly.

Jerry stared at him.

Jerry: That's annoyingly practical.

Anthony smiled.

Robin picked up one of the sugar packets.

Robin: What about fear?

Anthony: Observe it.

Robin: Anger?

Anthony: Observe it.

Robin: Jealousy?

Anthony: Observe it.

Robin: Shame?

Anthony: Observe it.

Robin looked skeptical.

Robin: That's it?

Anthony: Without immediately saying:

"This shouldn't be here."

Robin nodded.

Anthony: Anger appears.

Watch it.

Where is it in your body?

What thought came before it?

What expectation was violated?

What are you defending?

Robin listened closely.

Anthony: Don't say, "I am anger."

Say:

"Anger is here."

Trevor: That little change matters.

Anthony: Very much.

Max: Because if I am angry, anger becomes me.

Anthony: Yes.

Max: If anger is happening...

Anthony: You can observe it.

Jerry nodded.

Jerry: The observer again.

Anthony smiled.

Jim put down his fork.

Everyone looked at him.

Jim: I'm finished.

Jerry stared at the empty plate.

Jerry: That's the first time today.

Jim: I was aware of every bite.

Anthony raised his coffee cup.

Anthony: Enlightenment.

Jim raised his cup.

Jim: I knew it would involve breakfast.

They laughed.

The sun was now appearing at the edge of the horizon.

Orange light entered the diner.

Robin noticed first.

He looked toward the window.

Nobody else did.

He didn't say anything.

After a few seconds, Max noticed Robin looking.

Then Trevor.

Then Jerry.

Then Jim.

Finally Anthony turned.

All six watched.

No one photographed it.

No one posted it.

No one compared it with yesterday's sunrise.

No one asked whether it was better than somebody else's.

No one tried to own it.

They simply looked.

After a while, Jerry spoke.

Jerry: We did this on the train.

Anthony: Yes.

Jerry: It looks different.

Anthony: Does it?

Jerry considered.

Jerry: Maybe I'm looking differently.

Anthony said nothing.

Eventually Max turned from the window.

Max: Anthony, are you awake?

Anthony burst out laughing.

Max: I'm serious.

Anthony: I know.

Max: You keep asking us.

Are you?

Anthony looked at his coffee.

Then at Max.

Anthony: Sometimes.

Everyone laughed.

Max: That's it?

Anthony: Sometimes I catch myself wanting approval.

Sometimes I become irritated.

Sometimes I want reality to behave differently.

Sometimes I identify with an idea.

Sometimes I judge someone before actually seeing them.

Trevor: So awakening isn't a permanent achievement.

Anthony shook his head.

Anthony: The ego would love that.

Robin immediately became the ego.

Robin: "Congratulations! You are now officially more enlightened than everyone else!"

He placed an imaginary medal around his neck.

Robin: "Please update your biography."

Jerry laughed.

Jerry: Verified awakened.

Robin held up an imaginary phone.

Robin: Blue checkmark.

Everyone laughed.

Anthony pointed at Robin.

Anthony: That's exactly what would happen.

Max leaned back.

Max: Then maybe "Are you awake?" isn't a question you answer once.

Anthony: Perhaps not.

Trevor: It's something you keep noticing.

Anthony nodded.

Jerry looked at him.

Jerry: So after all this, what do we actually do tomorrow morning?

Anthony smiled.

Jerry: No philosophy.

Anthony: Fine.

Jerry began counting on his fingers.

Jerry: I wake up.

What do I do?

Anthony: Notice waking up.

Jerry: I drink coffee.

Anthony: Taste it.

Jim: Good.

Jerry: Somebody annoys me.

Anthony: Notice what happens inside you before immediately blaming them.

Max: Someone praises me.

Anthony: Enjoy it.

Trevor: Someone criticizes me.

Anthony: Listen. See whether it's true.

Robin: I become jealous.

Anthony: Watch the jealousy rather than pretending you aren't jealous.

Jim: I want pancakes.

Anthony looked at the empty plate.

Anthony: Apparently you eat them.

Jim: Excellent.

Max: My child makes a decision I don't like.

Anthony: Ask whether you're protecting the child or protecting your picture of the child.

Max nodded.

Trevor: I want something badly.

Anthony: Pursue it if you choose.

Then notice whether you've secretly told yourself:

"I cannot be happy until I get it."

Jerry looked around.

Jerry: That's surprisingly ordinary.

Anthony: What did you expect?

Jerry: Mountains.

Robes.

Jim: Seeds.

Anthony laughed.

The waitress returned with the bill.

She placed it on the table.

Everyone stared at it.

Nobody moved.

Jerry looked around.

Jerry: Interesting.

Max looked at him.

Max: What?

Jerry: Six enlightened men.

He pointed at the bill.

Jerry: Nobody's reaching.

Robin immediately became deeply meditative.

Robin: I have transcended money.

Jim closed his eyes.

Jim: The bill is merely a label.

Trevor folded his arms.

Trevor: I am observing the bill without judgment.

Max pointed at Anthony.

Max: Attachment to money, Anthony.

Anthony laughed so hard that the waitress looked over.

Anthony reached for the bill.

Jerry grabbed it first.

Jerry: No, no. I want to see whether generosity exists without an audience.

Max: We're watching.

Jerry released it instantly.

Jerry: Forget it.

The table erupted again.

They paid and walked outside.

The air was cool.

The train waited across the road.

Its doors were open.

But nobody walked toward it.

Trevor noticed.

Trevor: Aren't we getting back on?

Anthony looked at the train.

Anthony: Where do you want to go?

Trevor thought.

Trevor: I don't know.

Anthony nodded.

Anthony: Good.

Jerry shook his head.

Jerry: We've spent this entire trip not knowing where we're going, and now that's progress.

Robin looked toward the sunrise.

Robin: Maybe we don't need the train anymore.

Nobody answered.

Jim pointed down the road.

Jim: There's a donut shop.

Everyone turned toward him.

Jim raised both hands.

Jim: I'm aware that I want a donut.

Anthony smiled.

Jim: I'm observing the desire.

Anthony: Very good.

Jim: I'm not identifying with the donut.

Jerry: Just eat the donut.

Jim started walking.

The others followed.

After several steps, Max looked at Anthony.

Max: So that's it?

Anthony: What's it?

Max: Awakening.

Anthony looked around.

Cars passing.

Morning light.

Cold air.

Five men walking beside him.

Nothing extraordinary.

Everything ordinary.

Anthony: Max, what do you hear?

Max listened.

Traffic.

Birds.

Jerry and Jim arguing about donuts.

Robin humming to himself.

Someone opening the diner door behind them.

Max: Everything.

Anthony nodded.

Anthony: And five minutes ago?

Max smiled.

Max: I wasn't listening.

Anthony continued walking.

No announcement came over a speaker.

No sign appeared saying:

CONGRATULATIONS. YOU ARE AWAKE.

No one became enlightened.

No one escaped ordinary life.

They simply walked into the morning.

And for a little while, they noticed that they were walking.

Final Thoughts  

At the beginning of the journey, everyone was asleep.

By the end, nobody could confidently claim to be completely awake.

Perhaps that is precisely the point.

Awareness isn't a trophy we win, a permanent state we reach, or another identity we can proudly add to ourselves. It can begin with something much smaller: noticing.

Noticing when praise changes how we see ourselves. Noticing when love quietly becomes control. Noticing when a desire becomes a requirement for happiness. Noticing the voice saying, "I'll finally be happy when..." Noticing anger before becoming completely consumed by it.

Anthony de Mello's challenge is surprisingly ordinary.

Taste the coffee.

Hear the birds.

Love the person in front of you rather than your expectations of them.

Enjoy success without asking it to tell you who you are.

Feel pain without automatically turning pain into an identity.

And when you catch yourself falling asleep again?

Perhaps you don't need to condemn yourself.

You simply wake up again.

Short Bios:

Anthony de Mello

Anthony de Mello (1931-1987) was an Indian Jesuit priest, psychotherapist, spiritual teacher, and author known for combining Christian spirituality with insights drawn from Eastern contemplative traditions and psychology. His talks frequently used humor, stories, paradoxes, and provocative questions. Awareness, published posthumously from his conferences, became one of his best-known works.

Max Amini

Max Amini is an Iranian-American comedian, actor, and producer whose comedy frequently draws upon family, cultural differences, relationships, identity, and the expectations people inherit from their communities. In this imaginary conversation, those observations make him a natural voice for examining de Mello's concept of conditioning.

Jerry Seinfeld

Jerry Seinfeld is an American comedian, actor, writer, and producer known especially for observational comedy built around the strange details of ordinary behavior. Here, his instinct to ask why people perform familiar rituals without questioning them becomes an unexpectedly natural companion to de Mello's idea of awareness.

Jim Gaffigan

Jim Gaffigan is an American comedian, actor, writer, and producer whose comedy often explores food, family, comfort, laziness, and everyday desires. In this conversation, his love of food becomes a playful way of exploring the difference between enjoying something and believing happiness depends upon having it.

Trevor Noah

Trevor Noah is a South African comedian, writer, producer, and television host whose comedy frequently examines culture, identity, language, race, family, and differences in what societies consider normal. His cross-cultural perspective helps challenge assumptions that can feel universal simply because we have rarely stepped outside them.

Robin Williams

Robin Williams (1951-2014) was an American comedian and actor celebrated for extraordinary improvisation, rapid character changes, and his ability to move between wild comedy and emotional depth. In this imaginary conversation, his many voices become a metaphor for the voices people carry within themselves: parents, teachers, critics, fear, ambition, ego, and the child still asking, "Am I okay?"

Imaginary Conversation Disclaimer

This is a fictional, AI-assisted imaginary conversation created for educational, literary, and philosophical exploration. Anthony de Mello, Max Amini, Jerry Seinfeld, Jim Gaffigan, Trevor Noah, and Robin Williams did not participate in this conversation. Their dialogue here is imagined from publicly known aspects of their work, ideas, and comedic or teaching styles. It should not be treated as authentic quotations or statements from any participant.